In Praise of Small-Breasted Women

If the guy you’re with thinks you need different breasts, maybe you just need a different guy.

This is for the lesser-endowed ladies of the world: the women who were dealt too lightly by Nature, who wondered at some point or another if they should correct the injustice through the skills of a plastic surgeon, or at least invest in an arsenal of pushup bras.

Despite the typical male preoccupation with breast size, there are some of us who wouldn’t want you any other way, who see sublime perfection where others see absence.

Maybe we’re just not as vocal as some.

We’re not the guys working construction who whistle chauvinistically from across the street three stories above you as you walk to work.

We’re not the ones throwing themselves at you at the frat party. Or your friend’s wedding, countless drinks in.

Maybe we’re the ones quietly taking you in from five tables away. Listening to your voice. Your perspective. Your sense of humor. The witty way you referenced an F. Scott Fitzgerald line in the middle of ordering your drink.

And yes, don’t worry, we snuck a good, long look at your body.

But maybe it’s not a giant rack we’re looking for.

Maybe we happen to love the sleek lines of your silhouette, the elegant simplicity of your form.

Maybe there’s something fearless and yet vulnerable about your petite frame that draws us.

Maybe we’re actually turned off by someone who’s used to transfixing men with her obvious, womanly attributes.

Some of us grew up as athletes, amongst thin, athletic, small-breasted women and grew to like different physical traits than most guys. Like the tight calves of a runner. Or the strong thighs of a skier. Or the muscular stomach of a volleyball player. Maybe we know that having an athletic woman at your side means being more likely to live an adventurous and daring life. (Not just in the outdoors, but in the bedroom, too…)

Guys like me, like the fact that you’re used to having to win people over with your mind and personality, not what was peeking through your blouse.

For me, an A-cup puts you on the A-list, every time.

Some of us have learned from experience that small-breasted women often have larger minds. Or better moves on the dance floor. Or more optimistic attitudes when the chips are down. Because you’ve been overlooked by luck before. And it didn’t get the better of you then, either.

Hell, some of us are just ass-men.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against large-breasted women. Many of them are good friends—or even exes. And yes, many have just as sharp a mind, as buoyant a spirit, or witty a retort as you.

But there’s something about you A-girls that I just can’t shake.

Maybe you’re just a bit lighter—at how you handle life. Maybe the thing you think you’re lacking has given you so much more. And you’re better able to move around the obstacles of life a lot quicker without it.

Whatever it is, I, for one, am under your spell. I swoon when you walk into the room. I want your first dance, your next kiss, your every smile.

You have more admirers than you know.

If the guy you’re with thinks you need different breasts, maybe you just need a different guy.

 

—Photo avaviel/Flickr

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About Mark Radcliffe

Mark Radcliffe is a writer living in New York City. He has a weakness for bourbon, jazz and girls who can drive stick. You can read more of his essays here: www.theradcliffescrolls.tumblr.com and http://markradcliffe.com.

Comments

  1. The Bad Man says:

    LOL, what a load of sexist stereotypes. Too funny man.

    • YES! – What a lot of toss!!! Hilarious!!!!

      “the women who were dealt too lightly by Nature”….’too’ lightly, or just lightly? Seems that you do in fact think that small breasts are ‘too’ small…..and so you then make long and frankly embarrassing stereotypes to try and justify this!!!!

      Breasts are just breasts – most men like them, no matter what the size.
      Most women don’t give a fuck what men think about their breast size – I bet that ones who get implants do it for their own perception of how they look, not mens.

  2. Sarah:
    @Mark, I’ve occasionally had a guy on the street say “hey beautiful” and I don’t wear makeup, and my clothes tend to be comfortable rather than stylish. I only have 2 features that stand out: I have largish breasts and I’ve been told that my face is pretty. Otherwise, I’m pretty average. So if a guy thinks I’m beautiful, I assume it has something to do with breasts+face. With other women, I’m sure other things are noticed.
    Damn. While it can’t be nice to only be complimented on a few features I think you might be selling yourself short by declaring that people only ever think you’re attractive becuse of those few features. In fact if I were to apply your logic to my history of (physical) compliments then the only thing women ever see in me are my eyes (and that’s a compliment from my high school days, I’m 31 for reference) and my hair (I keep an afro).

    But speaking as someone who gets physical compliments about as often as the Sahara floods maybe this is just my wishful thinking talking.

    • Mark Neil says:

      Really, it doesn’t just sell herself short, it sells all men short as well.

    • Well unless I send you a bunch of pictures of myself, I guess you will have to take my word for it that I am basically average looking, with a couple of nice features. Like most people, actually.

      • John Anderson says:

        In my weight training days, I was like many teenage boys, measuring my muscles and checking myself in the mirror. I got fairly conceited and enjoyed the admiration from women. I didn’t mind a solitary compliment, but felt uncomfortable with repeated compliments, compliments that were highly sexual, or when women got physically aggressive like touching. I don’t like sexually aggressive women.

        I haven’t worked out in 15 years. Women will still occasionally compliment me on my body. I’m either particularly ugly (I’m pretty sensitive to that possibility, hence mo picture) or my physique is still above average. Now when I get compliments even a single compliment feels like harassment. I think it’s because it doesn’t feel deserved. I kind of understand where you are coming from.

  3. People annoyed about the obsession with appearance, being obsessed with appearance. Again.
    Just leave it. This oh so righteous ‘anti-attractiveness’ does nothing but highlight your own anger on the subject.
    Just ignore it. Appearance is meaningless. So’s arguing against those who are tricked into thinking it isn’t.

  4. stephanie says:

    basically as a small breasted woman i read this article as follows: “i’m not like those other guys” and then continues to create a dichotomy between women of different breast sizes, and talks about one as having more merit than the other in terms of intelligence (we have larger minds apparently) since, yeah know, intelligence is correlated with breast size.
    this piece is patronizing.

    • Keegan Bosch says:

      Allow me to share a short anecdote: Last week I met a girl, who we’ll call Jessie. Jessie is an absolutely stunning 17-year-old girl; (before you scoff, I’m 18 years old); who honestly does not have a single physical flaw about her. That includes her almost unbelievably pristine 34C breasts. I was having a conversation with Jessie about music, and at one point in our conversation, she stopped me and said “thank you for actually looking at me. You’re the first guy I’ve ever talked to who doesn’t stare at my boobs the whole conversation”.

      Women are very often being noticed for their large breasts, rather than their true beauty, and although that’s another conversation for another time, it relates to this article. Because of the male obsession with breasts, (which arguably is a completely natural obsession, large breasts psychologically represent a good mother), many beautiful women with smaller breasts go unnoticed. If I choose 10 random girls from my high school days, 5 Cs/Ds and 5 As/Bs, the Cs and Ds had more admirers. No exceptions.

      While you may find the piece to be patronizing, you have to look at author’s intent before you get upset about things. His goal was not to create the aforementioned dihcotomic rift, nor was he trying to offend large-breasted women. His sole purpose was to try and help improve the self-esteem of a group which he saw as being under appreciated. I for one believe that this article is a wonderful commentary, and I totally agree with nearly all of it; (though I don’t know if I agree that breast size is correlated with intelligence). However, even in that vein, the author distinctly states “Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against large-breasted women. Many of them are good friends—or even exes. And yes, many have just as sharp a mind, as buoyant a spirit, or witty a retort as you.”

      As I mentioned before, women with larger breasts are just generally noticed more. And to the author, I have some bad news. I know you prefer things small, but you’ve clearly got some massive cajones for publishing this article and calling out the majority of guys who spend their time so focused on the Cs, that they miss the Is.

      • This is a bunch of BS what you said, Keegan. Since when does breast size have to do with how good of a mother a woman is? Small breasts do the same thing as big breasts when lactating, no difference at all. Plus, small breasts GROW MUCH BIGGER during pregnancy, and they continue to grow during lactation. This whole thing with women having big breasts are better mothers is such a load of Bullsshit! Or that with women large breasts are more fertile…LOL What a joke! People, please, read a book! I can’t believe adults these days have no idea about BASIC things like these. Truth is, the American society has an unhealthy fixation on breasts, and the so-called scientists, which are most likely just some pseudo-scientists who use the popular media to reinforce these obsessive, unhealthy ideas about breast size and what they ought to signify, with misguided, unprofessional, trivial studies. It gives plastic surgeons some more to do, and gets them rich.

        And I don’t know about small breasted girls passing unnoticed…In my school, the most popular and the prettiest girls were the ones with small breasts. I also have small breasts and I can brag about the fact that I have always been noticed, no matter where I went. I never had a shortage of male attention, quite to the contrary.

        I think that you sound quite childish and simplistic by saying that girls with small breasts were being overlooked simply because of their small breasts. When a girl is pretty, she is pretty, and people will notice her regardless of her boob size. Maybe the girls you thought were beautiful but with small breasts weren’t exactly that beautiful by the majority’s standards, and I don’t mean that because of their breasts, but because of their faces and overall appearance.

  5. Hell, some of us are just ass-men. – LOL
    Actually most guys told me that they don’t like very large breast. Looks like it’s true.

  6. Love it! It’s good to know there are one or two guys out there who prefer small breasts:)

    • Mark Neil says:

      Believe me, there are more than just one or two. It’s just that it’s hard enough not being treated like paedophiles without admitting to liking small breasts. And if you don’t understand the connection, read through the comments, one lady here was told that she needed to find a paedophile in order to date anyone (paraphrasing. it’s in here somewhere).

      • I like women with petite bodies, small breasts (but most definitely adults). I’ve seen comments by people who assume those who like women like that, are pedophiles….calling men cradle snatchers for dating 22 year olds who have petite bodies, wtf is wrong with people? Are we only supposed to be attracted to very curvy women, tall, with large breasts?

        • Mark Neil says:

          Exactly. I feel sometimes we’re shamed for liking big breasts, but we’re shamed, insulted and question for liking small breasts, so if you need to say anything, big breasts are the lessor of two evils (in the eyes of those who judge). I think this is why it appears men like big boobs… And they do tend to catch the eye when walking past and clad in clingy/revealing cloths. I prefer smaller breasts, but sometimes you just gotta take in the eyefull.

        • the fact is there is a huge lie in society that states that 90% of men prefer large breasts and 10% prefer small breasts. the truth is the reverse!!! i myself love small breasts on young girls or women of 40 and over as they usually remain perky if they’re beautifully small. over the years about 90% of men i’ve discussed this with have agreed with me and 10% disagreed. i believe the 10% to have been breastfed, especially those with an especially large breast obsession. This lie has been caused by, the fact that women are naturally competitive and as was mentioned by another commenter, women who are larger will accuse men who state their natural taste for the petite as a taste for underage girls. it’s sad that men have too easily taken refuge in the knuckle dragging reactions of “the bigger, the better” statements in order to be able to express their sexual desires in a extremely feeble way rather than just tell the truth. the result would be to halt young girls with perfect breasts butchering themselves with poisonous, ugly implants. the catwalks are full of girls illustrating the perfect shape for clothing and very few of them have large breasts. i will take a catwalk model, ballet dancer, gymnastic or classy actress any day of the week over a silicon malformed page 3 girl. oh, i just remembered, i’m marrying a girl next month with perfect small perky breasts!! woohoo!!!

          • Oh my gosh all of these comments make me so happy. I have small breasts and I’ve always hated the way I look and here are all these guys that like petite small breasted women like me. You guys are the best. I am so happy and I feel so much better right know you have no idea.

            • @Alex,
              Glad to hear it. I personally prefer smaller to medium size breasts, but most breasts are attractive. Don’t let anyone make you feel insecure about yourself. One of the absolute hottest and sexiest women I know at the moment has A cup breasts, she always hates herself for it and I do my best to tell her they are fine. They look amazing! (Yes I’ve seen them). Not every guy likes breasts, nor do they like the same kind. We’re all individuals whom like different things. Petite, small breasted women can be extremely attractive so I hope it does continue to make you feel great.

  7. Must you judge people’s personalities according to physical attributes which they cannot control? There are intellectuals – nerdy, multilingual, tome-citing bookworms like me – who have large bosoms and CAN’T HELP IT. I detest my bosom. As a child, I fervently hoped I’d always remain flat-chested, and for a while I thought I’d managed to avoid the ghastly tumescence – until it suddenly materialised somewhat later than expected, adding yet another layer to my loathing of my own body. I’ve encountered the supposedly original “I’m a clever sensitive man, so I like small bosoms” meme before, but this incarnation thereof has sprouted a new, diabolical dimension: the function of denying an ugly girl the only thing she has left, namely, her mind. I’m sorry I don’t make your A list. You seem reasonably clever overall, so in lieu of any cogitative capacity of my own (having been robbed of it by my gargantuan udders) I’ll have to use your logic instead, and assume inverse proportionality between your wit and your bits. It’s a compliment, because I’m sensitive.

    • Hey Ants, there’s nothing to be ashamed of in having generous sized breasts, and a brilliant mind is a blessing too. Many people will judge you (and everyone else) on appearances, not noticing your fine mind first (or maybe never) – but that’s because there are many shallow dimwits about – usually they are confidant and vocal too! Try not to take it personally or spoil your happiness – those folk just aren’t worth the angst.

    • THIS!

      I hate being lumped in as “dumb” just because I have DD cup breasts. I’m also continuously annoyed with “intellectual men” going on about how small breasts = more intelligent and better personality. This is precisely the reason why I feel insecure about my curves. I have a PhD in Physics, work professionally as a writer, speak four languages, none of which have anything to do with the size of my chest.

      Finding smaller or bigger breasts attractive is an aesthetic issue, not an intellectual one. Who I might find attractive is certainly going to be different to someone else’s type, but I don’t try to justify it by making assumptions on that person’s personality or intelligence.

  8. It’s an article about boobies. Small boobies in particular. It’s not a social commentary on the injustice of women being judged by their looks.
    In my eyes it’s just a sweet love letter from a man to boobies.
    Men love breasts. It’s biology. Why are women still surprised by this?

    • thank you; everyone else here ranting seems to have missed this point.

    • Mark Radcliffe says:

      Well, actually, as the author, I disagree slightly:

      The piece is titled “In Praise of Small-Breasted WOMEN,” not “In Praise of Small BREASTS.” ;)

      I spend most of my time praising the traits and characteristic I felt (perhaps mistakenly) I commonly found in lesser-endowed women of the world and how these are perhaps more attractive to me than any physical asset. Though, yes, I’m not immune to being attracted to the female body in many ways, and there is obviously mention of that here. I did take many of the criticisms to heart, and even had problems with my own piece myself after sitting with it a while, and published a retraction of sorts here, if you’re interested:
      http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/the-good-life-in-praise-of-large-minded-women/

      • Melinda says:

        For every person who made your article their ranting board because of their own insecurities, there are a 100 more who don’t write but are still moved by your article.

  9. Major buzz kill. I opened this article hoping for a fresh perspective, a “challenge” to “typical definitions of beauty”. But each sentence induced a cringe larger than the last. Talk about being so saturated in cultural definitions of beauty that, even with the intent of a “challenge”, you end up reinforcing the same tired judgments and fantasies of your “perfect woman”- or perfect body, rather.

    Don’t worry, dude- I don’t care whether the presence or absence of my breasts are to your “preference”
    But I do worry about the guy taking a “good, long look” at my body from “five tables away.”

    Time for an actual challenge, GMP.

  10. I can’t believe how awful this is!
    A summary of your article:
    If you have small breasts you must hate yourself. After all, builders and magazines tell you to. But don’t worry!! I don’t find you repulsive! I’ve found other parts of your body to leer at. And I’m also convinced you’ve had to build a better personality because you’re so horrible to look at. (But I’ll take that back immediately and say big breasted women are great too). Also, don’t date douchebags like me. END.

    If you judge women on their appearance, own up to it. Most people do. But don’t think you’re some kind of intellectual superior because you like a “type” that you think is overlooked! I have NO idea why you think women’s self-esteem is so related to breast size. In my experience, women are usually more worried about too much excess fat- not too little.

  11. For you folks that have revitalized this fairly old post please make sure to check out the posts that came along after it in response to it. A lot of them appear in the ping backs.

    Here is one I did myself that isn’t in the ping back links (http://goodmenproject.com/good-feed-blog/curves-or-lack-of-curves-dont-make-the-woman/).

    This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t speak up with what you have to say I just want you to see more of the iceberg on this topic.

    • david wendt says:

      You are who you are.Small or large as long as it is what god gave you is ok by me. The only breast augmentation i agree wih is those for medical reasons . Sexy and pretty come in all shapes, sizes and colors. Don’t be insecure.

  12. Appreciative says:

    Wow, this is beautiful and made me smile as I read it. Lovely words that made me look at myself (a small chested woman) a little differently. Thanks

  13. Enjoyed Your Article - Houston, TX says:

    This article is very, very sweet and there was no need whatsoever for you to write any sort of retraction. This was a very endearing, sincere and well written article about what you find attractive…. without putting large-breasted women down. It seems like you can’t win these days. There’s always going to be someone trying to put a negative spin on everything, no matter how positive it may be. Large breasts are worshiped in our society to the point that women are willing to put themselves at risk with surgery to have them… thinking that a D cup is going to change their lives. Chances are, they were already a “10”, but they let the media brainwash them into thinking otherwise. I found your article to be very sweet and refreshing. Not all men want a D cup, like so many women are lead to believe. We need to be confident no matter what our breast size is. Again, great article. Don’t let the sour-pusses make you feel like you’ve done something wrong, because you haven’t.

  14. The Smaller Mind (aka larger busted) says:

    Congratulations in your process of trying to make smaller breasted ladies feel better about their breast, you managed to other ladies more insecure about themselves because you know breast are the eyes to the soul. Here is an idea, stop making any assumptions about anyone due to physical traits. It’s no different than me saying…”well you know that they say about small feet and a guy.” It’s a stereotype. It’s judgmental. And it just makes you look like a giant douche.

Trackbacks

  1. [...] this article is my response to Mark Radcliffe’s piece, In Praise of Small-Breasted Women. It’s all love, Mark, but I have to big up my big‐breasted girls out [...]

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  10. [...] thank you, Glamour (although the Good Men Project’s “small-breasted women” man may still want to have words with you). As for the rest of us, we are all eternally grateful that [...]

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  14. [...] I won, but man, it was powerful. And I totally blame the Glosswitch persona for this. That, and the Good Men Project small-breasts article. I mean, I’d like to think this blog isn’t just the verbal equivalent of me dancing [...]

  15. [...] little while back, I got myself in a bit of hot water with a piece I wrote called In Praise of Small-Breasted Women. I had a number of supporters, many of whom identified themselves as members of that unique club [...]

  16. [...] In Praise of Small-Breasted Women — The Good Men ProjectApr 22, 2012 … Despite the typical male preoccupation with breast size, there are some of us who wouldn’t want you any other way, who see sublime … [...]

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  19. [...] are weaker or somehow lesser. You’re allowed to be attracted to a certain body type (say, small-breasted women) or to have small breasts without implying that women with larger breasts are unathletic, slovenly, [...]

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