If the guy you’re with thinks you need different breasts, maybe you just need a different guy.
This is for the lesser-endowed ladies of the world: the women who were dealt too lightly by Nature, who wondered at some point or another if they should correct the injustice through the skills of a plastic surgeon, or at least invest in an arsenal of pushup bras.
Despite the typical male preoccupation with breast size, there are some of us who wouldn’t want you any other way, who see sublime perfection where others see absence.
Maybe we’re just not as vocal as some.
We’re not the guys working construction who whistle chauvinistically from across the street three stories above you as you walk to work.
We’re not the ones throwing themselves at you at the frat party. Or your friend’s wedding, countless drinks in.
Maybe we’re the ones quietly taking you in from five tables away. Listening to your voice. Your perspective. Your sense of humor. The witty way you referenced an F. Scott Fitzgerald line in the middle of ordering your drink.
And yes, don’t worry, we snuck a good, long look at your body.
But maybe it’s not a giant rack we’re looking for.
Maybe we happen to love the sleek lines of your silhouette, the elegant simplicity of your form.
Maybe there’s something fearless and yet vulnerable about your petite frame that draws us.
Maybe we’re actually turned off by someone who’s used to transfixing men with her obvious, womanly attributes.
Some of us grew up as athletes, amongst thin, athletic, small-breasted women and grew to like different physical traits than most guys. Like the tight calves of a runner. Or the strong thighs of a skier. Or the muscular stomach of a volleyball player. Maybe we know that having an athletic woman at your side means being more likely to live an adventurous and daring life. (Not just in the outdoors, but in the bedroom, too…)
Guys like me, like the fact that you’re used to having to win people over with your mind and personality, not what was peeking through your blouse.
For me, an A-cup puts you on the A-list, every time.
Some of us have learned from experience that small-breasted women often have larger minds. Or better moves on the dance floor. Or more optimistic attitudes when the chips are down. Because you’ve been overlooked by luck before. And it didn’t get the better of you then, either.
Hell, some of us are just ass-men.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against large-breasted women. Many of them are good friends—or even exes. And yes, many have just as sharp a mind, as buoyant a spirit, or witty a retort as you.
But there’s something about you A-girls that I just can’t shake.
Maybe you’re just a bit lighter—at how you handle life. Maybe the thing you think you’re lacking has given you so much more. And you’re better able to move around the obstacles of life a lot quicker without it.
Whatever it is, I, for one, am under your spell. I swoon when you walk into the room. I want your first dance, your next kiss, your every smile.
You have more admirers than you know.
If the guy you’re with thinks you need different breasts, maybe you just need a different guy.
—Photo avaviel/Flickr
Breast size does not matter, it is the woman. First wife was medium, second was Large, I loved them both. Still, what turns me on to see (when just looking to be turned on) is a small breasted woman, A cup or less. They are just so sexy!
I truly believe women are beautiful and sexier than ladies with large breasts that are all over. I would date a small breasted lady 10 to 1 over her larger endowed friends.
. Your heart and soul are truly the greatest gift that you can give to any relationship????
Amen
I don’t feel I lack anything my dear author . I am a woman and my small breasts are gorgeous and sexy . no insecurities here .
Wow! That sounds very exciting! 🙂
??????
Those petite women may consider themselves lucky. I envy them. I have a 42dd size bust and I don’t like it .Large causes a lot of problems as anyone my size or larger, some even smaller than me like a 34 size have complained about it because they had problems finding bras. Getting about being large doesn’t help matters either. I’ve been getting that since I was 9, when I grew 38 size breasts.Cathy
Lose weight. Since your band measurement is 42. That means you have a 42 inches ribcage
Really? What if she is a 6’4″ body builder with 15% body fat? She may well not be overweight. I’m 6’5″ (male) and saw women at my gym that were taller than I, and were ripped and shredded with a bigger chest measurement t han I have (not including breast size)
Jumping to conclusions is a dangerous sport.
Congratulations in your process of trying to make smaller breasted ladies feel better about their breast, you managed to other ladies more insecure about themselves because you know breast are the eyes to the soul. Here is an idea, stop making any assumptions about anyone due to physical traits. It’s no different than me saying…”well you know that they say about small feet and a guy.” It’s a stereotype. It’s judgmental. And it just makes you look like a giant douche.
Congratulations!
You showed that you are insecure because you damn care too much about what strangers say on the internet. That’s called external validation. Your internal validation must be so weak
This article is very, very sweet and there was no need whatsoever for you to write any sort of retraction. This was a very endearing, sincere and well written article about what you find attractive…. without putting large-breasted women down. It seems like you can’t win these days. There’s always going to be someone trying to put a negative spin on everything, no matter how positive it may be. Large breasts are worshiped in our society to the point that women are willing to put themselves at risk with surgery to have them… thinking that a D cup is going… Read more »
Wow, this is beautiful and made me smile as I read it. Lovely words that made me look at myself (a small chested woman) a little differently. Thanks
For you folks that have revitalized this fairly old post please make sure to check out the posts that came along after it in response to it. A lot of them appear in the ping backs.
Here is one I did myself that isn’t in the ping back links (https://goodmenproject.com/good-feed-blog/curves-or-lack-of-curves-dont-make-the-woman/).
This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t speak up with what you have to say I just want you to see more of the iceberg on this topic.
You are who you are.Small or large as long as it is what god gave you is ok by me. The only breast augmentation i agree wih is those for medical reasons . Sexy and pretty come in all shapes, sizes and colors. Don’t be insecure.
Thanks for saying this, david. Women need to hear it from time to time. 🙂
I can’t believe how awful this is! A summary of your article: If you have small breasts you must hate yourself. After all, builders and magazines tell you to. But don’t worry!! I don’t find you repulsive! I’ve found other parts of your body to leer at. And I’m also convinced you’ve had to build a better personality because you’re so horrible to look at. (But I’ll take that back immediately and say big breasted women are great too). Also, don’t date douchebags like me. END. If you judge women on their appearance, own up to it. Most people do.… Read more »
Major buzz kill. I opened this article hoping for a fresh perspective, a “challenge” to “typical definitions of beauty”. But each sentence induced a cringe larger than the last. Talk about being so saturated in cultural definitions of beauty that, even with the intent of a “challenge”, you end up reinforcing the same tired judgments and fantasies of your “perfect woman”- or perfect body, rather. Don’t worry, dude- I don’t care whether the presence or absence of my breasts are to your “preference” But I do worry about the guy taking a “good, long look” at my body from “five… Read more »
Odd, I’m pretty sure I didn’t read the same article as you did. In any case, why don’t you show us/TGMP how it’s done: write and submit an article with a fresh perspective that challenges typical definitions of beauty? I’d be interested to hear it.
I don’t know if TGMP could handle that… 🙂
Perhaps I will. Not much of a writer, and very busy with work- but I can see it being an extremely useful exercise. Spread some positive energy. Will see what I can do!
Do it! My email address is [email protected]. Word or Google Docs formats preferred.
It’s an article about boobies. Small boobies in particular. It’s not a social commentary on the injustice of women being judged by their looks.
In my eyes it’s just a sweet love letter from a man to boobies.
Men love breasts. It’s biology. Why are women still surprised by this?
thank you; everyone else here ranting seems to have missed this point.
Well, actually, as the author, I disagree slightly: The piece is titled “In Praise of Small-Breasted WOMEN,” not “In Praise of Small BREASTS.” 😉 I spend most of my time praising the traits and characteristic I felt (perhaps mistakenly) I commonly found in lesser-endowed women of the world and how these are perhaps more attractive to me than any physical asset. Though, yes, I’m not immune to being attracted to the female body in many ways, and there is obviously mention of that here. I did take many of the criticisms to heart, and even had problems with my own… Read more »
For every person who made your article their ranting board because of their own insecurities, there are a 100 more who don’t write but are still moved by your article.
I just want to say wow! To all the angry,hating large breasted women on here. Apparently being considered WAY more attractive by men, the media and society isn’t enough for them. They can’t let a simple article praising the disenfranchised much hated itty bitty titty committee uplift women like me who have had to deal with negative body image issues their whole life! Typical! Big breasted women get thrown everything they want! Money, cars, men, they get out of tickets etc. and it’s still not enough. I personally, being petite, 5’2 and 110lbs, enjoyed this article immensely. All men have… Read more »
Must you judge people’s personalities according to physical attributes which they cannot control? There are intellectuals – nerdy, multilingual, tome-citing bookworms like me – who have large bosoms and CAN’T HELP IT. I detest my bosom. As a child, I fervently hoped I’d always remain flat-chested, and for a while I thought I’d managed to avoid the ghastly tumescence – until it suddenly materialised somewhat later than expected, adding yet another layer to my loathing of my own body. I’ve encountered the supposedly original “I’m a clever sensitive man, so I like small bosoms” meme before, but this incarnation thereof… Read more »
Hey Ants, there’s nothing to be ashamed of in having generous sized breasts, and a brilliant mind is a blessing too. Many people will judge you (and everyone else) on appearances, not noticing your fine mind first (or maybe never) – but that’s because there are many shallow dimwits about – usually they are confidant and vocal too! Try not to take it personally or spoil your happiness – those folk just aren’t worth the angst.
THIS! I hate being lumped in as “dumb” just because I have DD cup breasts. I’m also continuously annoyed with “intellectual men” going on about how small breasts = more intelligent and better personality. This is precisely the reason why I feel insecure about my curves. I have a PhD in Physics, work professionally as a writer, speak four languages, none of which have anything to do with the size of my chest. Finding smaller or bigger breasts attractive is an aesthetic issue, not an intellectual one. Who I might find attractive is certainly going to be different to someone… Read more »
Love it! It’s good to know there are one or two guys out there who prefer small breasts:)
Believe me, there are more than just one or two. It’s just that it’s hard enough not being treated like paedophiles without admitting to liking small breasts. And if you don’t understand the connection, read through the comments, one lady here was told that she needed to find a paedophile in order to date anyone (paraphrasing. it’s in here somewhere).
I like women with petite bodies, small breasts (but most definitely adults). I’ve seen comments by people who assume those who like women like that, are pedophiles….calling men cradle snatchers for dating 22 year olds who have petite bodies, wtf is wrong with people? Are we only supposed to be attracted to very curvy women, tall, with large breasts?
Exactly. I feel sometimes we’re shamed for liking big breasts, but we’re shamed, insulted and question for liking small breasts, so if you need to say anything, big breasts are the lessor of two evils (in the eyes of those who judge). I think this is why it appears men like big boobs… And they do tend to catch the eye when walking past and clad in clingy/revealing cloths. I prefer smaller breasts, but sometimes you just gotta take in the eyefull.
the fact is there is a huge lie in society that states that 90% of men prefer large breasts and 10% prefer small breasts. the truth is the reverse!!! i myself love small breasts on young girls or women of 40 and over as they usually remain perky if they’re beautifully small. over the years about 90% of men i’ve discussed this with have agreed with me and 10% disagreed. i believe the 10% to have been breastfed, especially those with an especially large breast obsession. This lie has been caused by, the fact that women are naturally competitive and… Read more »
Oh my gosh all of these comments make me so happy. I have small breasts and I’ve always hated the way I look and here are all these guys that like petite small breasted women like me. You guys are the best. I am so happy and I feel so much better right know you have no idea.
@Alex, Glad to hear it. I personally prefer smaller to medium size breasts, but most breasts are attractive. Don’t let anyone make you feel insecure about yourself. One of the absolute hottest and sexiest women I know at the moment has A cup breasts, she always hates herself for it and I do my best to tell her they are fine. They look amazing! (Yes I’ve seen them). Not every guy likes breasts, nor do they like the same kind. We’re all individuals whom like different things. Petite, small breasted women can be extremely attractive so I hope it does… Read more »
Hell, some of us are just ass-men. – LOL
Actually most guys told me that they don’t like very large breast. Looks like it’s true.
basically as a small breasted woman i read this article as follows: “i’m not like those other guys” and then continues to create a dichotomy between women of different breast sizes, and talks about one as having more merit than the other in terms of intelligence (we have larger minds apparently) since, yeah know, intelligence is correlated with breast size.
this piece is patronizing.
Allow me to share a short anecdote: Last week I met a girl, who we’ll call Jessie. Jessie is an absolutely stunning 17-year-old girl; (before you scoff, I’m 18 years old); who honestly does not have a single physical flaw about her. That includes her almost unbelievably pristine 34C breasts. I was having a conversation with Jessie about music, and at one point in our conversation, she stopped me and said “thank you for actually looking at me. You’re the first guy I’ve ever talked to who doesn’t stare at my boobs the whole conversation”. Women are very often being… Read more »
This is a bunch of BS what you said, Keegan. Since when does breast size have to do with how good of a mother a woman is? Small breasts do the same thing as big breasts when lactating, no difference at all. Plus, small breasts GROW MUCH BIGGER during pregnancy, and they continue to grow during lactation. This whole thing with women having big breasts are better mothers is such a load of Bullsshit! Or that with women large breasts are more fertile…LOL What a joke! People, please, read a book! I can’t believe adults these days have no idea… Read more »
Well said!
People annoyed about the obsession with appearance, being obsessed with appearance. Again.
Just leave it. This oh so righteous ‘anti-attractiveness’ does nothing but highlight your own anger on the subject.
Just ignore it. Appearance is meaningless. So’s arguing against those who are tricked into thinking it isn’t.
Sarah: @Mark Goblowsky, I’ve occasionally had a guy on the street say “hey beautiful” and I don’t wear makeup, and my clothes tend to be comfortable rather than stylish. I only have 2 features that stand out: I have largish breasts and I’ve been told that my face is pretty. Otherwise, I’m pretty average. So if a guy thinks I’m beautiful, I assume it has something to do with breasts+face. With other women, I’m sure other things are noticed. Damn. While it can’t be nice to only be complimented on a few features I think you might be selling yourself… Read more »
Really, it doesn’t just sell herself short, it sells all men short as well.
Well unless I send you a bunch of pictures of myself, I guess you will have to take my word for it that I am basically average looking, with a couple of nice features. Like most people, actually.
In my weight training days, I was like many teenage boys, measuring my muscles and checking myself in the mirror. I got fairly conceited and enjoyed the admiration from women. I didn’t mind a solitary compliment, but felt uncomfortable with repeated compliments, compliments that were highly sexual, or when women got physically aggressive like touching. I don’t like sexually aggressive women. I haven’t worked out in 15 years. Women will still occasionally compliment me on my body. I’m either particularly ugly (I’m pretty sensitive to that possibility, hence mo picture) or my physique is still above average. Now when I… Read more »
LOL, what a load of sexist stereotypes. Too funny man.
YES! – What a lot of toss!!! Hilarious!!!!
“the women who were dealt too lightly by Nature”….’too’ lightly, or just lightly? Seems that you do in fact think that small breasts are ‘too’ small…..and so you then make long and frankly embarrassing stereotypes to try and justify this!!!!
Breasts are just breasts – most men like them, no matter what the size.
Most women don’t give a fuck what men think about their breast size – I bet that ones who get implants do it for their own perception of how they look, not mens.
Most women care, they really do.No one would have surgery to make them big if the norm for women were to have no boobs at all.The article fails miserably in trying to make non -gifted women feel good. Just reinforce that ” they are ugly, less womanly but they COMPENSATE 😉 ” . Men love big boobs, period.Just like women love large shoulders and well defined arms.Some people deviate from this natural norms because of especial psicologycal reasons (Freud …), witch is very good ´cause everybody deserves to be desired.But number wise, most people are atracted to what nature programed… Read more »
I agree. A lot of guys have this attitude about small breasts. That is She needs to be very pretty Needs to be in great shape Needs to have good personality Etc to make ip gor small boobs. Seriously, have you ever heard men talk about large breasted women like that. “She has a dd rack but at least shes smart and pretty.” Guys really do prefer large breasts. How many guys break their nevks to see aacups? Thats just not how guys or wired or will ever be wired. Small breasts are a fault that one must overlook, like… Read more »
Totally agree. Men don’t like small boobs. Some men just tolerate them, but they never want them. I honestly don’t think they’re all automatically wired to be that way, but I think growing up on porn makes it a lot worse.
Good news for the smaller women….you are IN. I have large ones and it is considered a way to be fat, even though the rest of me is in no way fat. I have an intellectual bent…..I read, I have a degree in math and physics, and I cannot stand most reality television shows (exceptions being shows about some jobs or about large families or the man who combs the rivers of the globe looking for large fish)
Great. Another article objectifying women. When will people get the point that saying “I prefer curvy women” or “I like small tits” is still just presenting women as sex objects rather than as people in themselves? How about, I like my girlfriend because she is fucking sexy, confident and awesome, rather than trying to console girls with small tits and make girls with big ones feel bad about themselves?
Natalie, I agree that the article is objectifying. (See my initial comment in the older comments portion of the thread.) However, saying *I* like curvy women/*I* prefer small tits is not, in itself, objectifying. Stating a personal preference does not constitute objectification as the word is defined. Attaching meaning, significance, intelligence, stupidity, and other value judgements to said personal preference IS objectifying though as the word is defined. So, I’m fine saying I love my girlfriend’s sexy booty. It doesn’t mean I don’t love her hair, humor, jokes, or overall awesomeness. It just literally means I love her butt, because… Read more »
Are men allowed to speak of their attraction to women anymore? I agree the article objectifies due to it’s linking body-types and personalities, but “I like small breasts” alone isn’t objectification. Like it or not ladies part of attraction involves sexuality, and yes to hetero men women are usually sexually attractive, certain parts even more than others. This doesn’t mean they don’t like the rest of you, they still can care about your personality, etc but they’re simply saying I love small breasts, they turn me on the most just like nice women are what I love because I hate… Read more »
I don’t really care how well-intentioned this article was.
It doesn’t sound well-intentioned.
It sounds like, “Hey girl, let me assume I can validate your existence purely because I’m a man who finds you attractive.”
Weapons-grade creepy.
And no, I’m not going to tell you what size my breasts are.
Personally, loved this piece of writing. I read it as simply your expression of appreciation for “the under-appreciated” – at least in Mark’s mind. Honestly, after being around enough guys who seem to be intelligent, worldly, educated men but who somehow have not evolved past the “Al Bundy” level of appreciation for women, it’s nice to hear from a guy who’s not interested in marrying a Hooters waitress. And as someone who is, well, forget about A-cup; my bra size now is LOL…. it feels good to have a male-cheerleader, so to speak, who’s willing to say, “You go, sister,… Read more »
“Maybe there’s something fearless and yet vulnerable about your petite frame that draws us.” …are you really saying my vulnerable-looking body type is what turns you on? Honestly if someone told me that in person I’d think he was a rapist.
And I would think it was a compliment Sarah. The heart of relationships is are ability to be vulnerable, soft and open with one another. If someone told me they thought me vulnerable, I wouldn’t automatically think they wanted to rape me. I would think that I drew out protective feelings in them. Because that’s been my experience with men. They equate vulnerablity to intimacy and softness and feelings in protecting that. Not taking advantage of it.
I myself would personally be insulted if anyone thought me vulnerable.
Exactly. Men as protectors has been an ingrained role and part of the male identity for a very long time (and continues to be enforced in many ways even today), so it should not be surprising that a woman who makes a man feel needed in that way would still appeal to him, give him purpose. I myself have never consciously associated “petite as vulnerable” being what appeals to me about petite women, but it doesn’t really surprise me.
Then form a relationship with me. Don’t stand there and stare at my body. How the hell can you tell relational vulnerability from a woman’s size anyway? Answer? You can’t. He was talking about how small my body was, which made me vulnerable. Which means A: he was to physically overpower me, or B: he thinks I’m frail and helpless and in need of his saving. Both are yuck.
Devil’s advocate here!
I can definitely understand how a man would associate vulnerable with a petite woman. I like big and tall men (over 6ft, 230 lbs and up). I’m guilty of equating strong with tall. The men I used to date appreciated the size difference. It was exciting for both of us.
6’6, 300lbs here. Nearly everyone feels smaller than me, I do feel a sense of pride knowing that simply being near my smaller friends I’ve helped stop one getting bullied. I’ve heard from some women they like their men to be bigger than them, they feel protected, and it is nice to feel you protect someone. But I am under no impression that smaller people can’t defend themselves, I’d love a woman to fight side by side with me to help defend our kids if we have them. Size CAN be an advantage and I guess a woman could feel… Read more »
Archy, are you a big cuddly teddy bear? lol
Haha I can be. Looking after a kitten atm and I am extremely cuddly:P. Only certain people bring out my cuddly side though.
I think he means the man being a protector role, I must admit I do feel special when I feel I can protect someone else though I also like knowing they’ll protect me. I don’t think he meant it as a vulnerable for rape kind of way though. Erin also hits the mark pretty well.
218 comments, LOTS of new commenters – has this article gone viral?