Conversations About Masculinity: Starving Men

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About Adam Dyer

I am a Candidate for the Unitarian Universalist ministry. Although I didn’t grow up a UU, I am greatly inspired by its multi-religious dedication. I also identify as a Christian and specifically embrace the Anglican tradition. In short, I am in one breath CRAZY liberal in my personal theology while at the same time loving my “smells and bells.”

I believe in freedom of religion and the freedom to live the life that calls you. I believe deeply in LGBTQI (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer/Questioning, Intersex) rights and I think these are lifestyles that are neither new nor incompatible with “traditional” lifestyles. I also see marvelous examples throughout the various religious traditions to support this idea. We all have a great deal to learn from each other and the only way that we can learn is by engaging each other…not by beating each other up with scripture or guns.

My work comes directly out of my experience as a wellness professional (massage therapist and personal trainer.) It is enlightening work that guides my studies and ultimately my entire ministry. The human body and its wellness is our greatest resource.


  1. Great article. Thank you.

    “But getting into the hearts of men will be a much greater challenge. This will have to come from nurturing better environments within families and communities and by letting go of fear based cultural norms.”

    I posted on the Mark Greene article as well. I have been involved with the ManKind Project ( for almost 10 years – and I have experienced and witnessed incredible transformations in men as they begin to disconnect from the deeply ingrained belief that men don’t touch. Platonic, vulnerable contact with men has changed my relationships with everyone.

    And if you weren’t aware of it … check out the video of Wentworth Miller at the HRC dinner in Seattle “Coming out, Finding community, being a role model – ManKind Project.”

    “In 2012 I joined a men’s group called the ManKind Project, which is a men’s group for all men, and was introduced to the still foreign and potentially threatening concepts of us … and we … the idea of brotherhood, sisterhood, and community. And it was via that community that I became a member and a proud supporter of the Human Rights Campaign.” ~Wentworth Miller

  2. Wonderful work, Adam. Thanks for this great article.

  3. Thanks Adam. The trauma you are talking about I have explored as gender associated developmental trauma. When we teach boys to feel pain but restrict them from expressing their feelings they are forced to keep them in and then to distrust their feelings and their bodies. This is the start of emotional trauma.

    • Thank you James for this comment. This is a particularly important perspective particularly when looking at some of the issues within communities of color where there are multiple layers to the questions around trusting one’s body and the idea of how our culture teaches us to mistrust our bodies. I will definitely look for more on gender associated developmental trauma.

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