An unexpected ‘cardiac event’ brought with it a major wake up call for Edie Weinstein, that her inherited workaholic tendencies could have ended this incarnation.
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I am writing this article on Father’s Day, while recovering from an event that never in a million years would I have imagined in this lifetime. This past Thursday, following a ‘normal’ workout at the gym, I experienced tightness in my jaw, radiating heartburn type pain across my back and chest, nausea and profuse sweating that I recognized as a heart attack in process. One thing to know is that these type of ‘cardiac events’ present themselves differently in women than in men. The chest clutching pain that men often experience is not as common for women.
I was whisked via wheelchair to the cardiac catheterization lab where a stent was inserted in a fully closed artery via what is now a pin prick hole in my right wrist. It was one of those ‘holy shift’ moments when everything changed.
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I knew this, because my sister had two last year. She, unfortunately has become my ‘been there, done that, got the t-shirt’ go to person for what comes next. In the midst of the immediate experience, I was not in panic mode. In fact, I drove myself to the hospital 10 minutes away only after calling to cancel an appointment with a counseling client. In retrospect, I am aware of how irresponsible that was, since I could have jeopardized the safety of others as well as myself. Lesson # 1 Call 911 immediately, since not only could it prevent an accident and save a life, but they can begin the rescue process and relay information to the medical staff en route.
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I was astounded by how quickly following stumbling into the ER, I was whisked via wheelchair to the cardiac catheterization lab where a stent was inserted in a fully closed artery via what is now a pin prick hole in my right wrist. It was one of those ‘holy shift’ moments when everything changed. I began the protesting process in my head…how could this have happened? I work out 3-5 times a week, eat a relatively healthy mostly veg diet, have tons of love in my life, am smoke, drug and alcohol free, have a glowingly positive attitude about most things….and on the flip side, have a genetic pre-disposition since my father Moish had angina, my mother Selma died of CHF (congestive heart failure) and my sister Jan had her heart episodes. I also tend to take on way too much for others in both personal and professional aspects of my life. As a therapist who works in the mental health and recovery fields, it is an occupational hazard. I also know that I inherited my Type A, workaholic tendencies from my dad who went above and beyond at home and work as well, believing, as I did, that he somehow needed to be all things to all people.
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In addition to working overtime, he was a full time dad (not the babysitter who ‘helped my mother’ as did many men of his generation) and an active volunteer in our community. Not sure how he did it, since he had asthma, but he was also a firefighter. Like him, I am a connector who knows someone nearly everywhere I am, or have beaten the six degrees of separation concept by at least half, am gregarious and will speak with so called strangers who often become friends; the go-to person for folks in my life who seemed to be on call 24/7, am deeply spiritual. We shared a penchant for fitness. I am doggedly determined to do what I am called on to do, at scarily almost all costs. I inherited his curiosity and love of learning and his ability to get by on very little sleep; or so I though; running on all cylinders, until I couldn’t anymore. For the most part, we had a good father-daughter relationship, with the occasional head butting moments in my teens over religion and politics.
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One of the lessons I learned from my father that has served me well AND paradoxically may have contributed to this ‘heart opening experience’, is about ‘getting back on the horse.’ I can recall three incidents in the life of our family in which this was brought to bear. When I was 7, he was with me as I learned to ride my bike sans training wheels. He had just removed them, and held on to the back of the seat and ran behind me as I pedaled. He let go and almost immediately, I crashed into the tree in the front yard. Once he helped me up and made sure I was ok, his words were “Okay, let’s get you back on the bike,” and off I went, wobbling a bit, but then took off down the street with him clapping and cheering behind me.
A few years later, we went to a ranch and all four of us (mom, dad and my sister Jan) were on horseback on a rocky trail. The reins broke on the horse that was carrying my likely then 8 year old sister. Smelling freedom, the equine took off down the hill. She panicked and began kicking the horse in an obviously ineffective effort to get it (not sure if it was male or female) to slow down. My father took off after them, yelling for the horse to stop….like that was going to work. Getting to the bottom of the hill, knowing its way home, he eased into the corral. One of the staff helped my sister off the horse and making sure she was unharmed, my father once again, offered the advice: “Okay, let’s get you back on the horse,” and that she did, smiling through tears, facing likely fears as the ranch hand led her around the fenced in area.
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The third one was quite a bit more dangerous than the first two. We were heading home from a visit to my aunt and uncle who lived in Skokie (a suburb of Chicago) and somewhere outside of Indianapolis, our blue station wagon was struck by the driver of a speeding Corvette who apparently thought he was on the Indianapolis Raceway. We were told that the point of impact was a fraction away from the gas tank. We clearly had our own guardian angels that day, since the car was drivable and we were undamaged ourselves; Jan had a minor injury from her shoulder banging against the head rest in front of her. As shaken as she was, my dad encouraged my mother to drive a bit more, even if it was for 10 minutes. On all three occasions, his intention was that none of us succumb to fear. He didn’t say in a harsh way, but rather in a loving and encouraging manner.
In this case, I need to stay off the bike, horse and out from behind the wheel, at least metaphorically speaking, for awhile longer if I want to stay alive..
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It is this that began to shape my way of doing nearly everything in my life. Not allowing limitations to define me, or challenges to side line me for very long, has often had me getting back to a ‘normal’ routine far too quickly. I have taken the week off from work, am allowing people to take care of me, am resting and rejuvenating, saying no to requests to take care of anyone, changing diet, attitude and stress levels. At the moment, my neighbor is mowing my lawn, my fridge is full of food, provided by my sister and cousin and meals prepped by my niece. In this case, I need to stay off the bike, horse and out from behind the wheel, at least metaphorically speaking, for awhile longer if I want to stay alive.
Wow Edie! That is quite a wake up call you received my friend. Take good care…
Thank you for those suggestions. When I see the cardiologist next week, I will ask about those supplements.
HI Edie–on a practical note, take a look both at Co-Q10 and Magnesium — lots of research on BOTh that suggest much coronary and aerial inflammation/cholesterol etc can be managed and damage even reversed using these supplements.
big hugs to you in your recovery and thanks for sharing your journey so openly;