The Ship Is Sinking

I am waiting for the call that might inform me that my government benefits are getting canceled. I need them. I’m one of the many people in the United States who paid into this system and desperately need it to pay me back while I’m struggling. That’s how it’s supposed to work.

Yet, here’s what I’ve noticed lately. Verifications for citizenship have increased like I’ve never seen before. They have my passport, my birth certificate, and my driver’s license. But they keep making me verify that I am an American citizen and so are my children. As far as I know, American citizenship doesn’t just … expire. So, why do I need to keep proving it?

Racism is why. As ICE continues to illegally kidnap and detain human beings without cause, social services is trying to make sure they aren’t feeding or helping anyone who might be an immigrant, illegal or otherwise. But I don’t know how many times I can say that I was born here and prove it for them to believe me.

I’ve also noticed that although the cost of living is high, the income limits for families keeps getting lower. The poverty line keeps moving, making it impossible for low-income families to qualify for benefits. What’s interesting about this particular calculation is that they used to factor in living expenses as a part of their process. Now, they only calculate living expenses if an aplicant first shows they are already below the current poverty line.

That might make sense if the poverty line wasn’t playing a game of limbo. It keeps getting lower, preventing more and more people from accessing benefits of a system they’ve paid into for years. They also don’t calculate the income accurately. I have some income that’s paid quarterly and is variable. They always default to the highest number, not the lowest, making it harder for me to qualify.

Life is getting harder for so many people. Groceries and fuel are insanely priced, and income is not rising as quickly. Too many people I know are constantly stressed out about how they’re going to make ends meet. We’re stretched too thin.

The ship is sinking.

We’re struggling. I mean, not the billionaire class. The rest of us. The billionaire class is happy to raise prices to make a profit off of us.

But for those of us struggling, I have a little piece of advice: When the ship is sinking, save what you can.

I don’t mean money. Most of us don’t have enough to save. What I do mean is find something good on this earth to do. Save the planet by recycling or composting. Foster a shelter animal. Rescue wildlife. Donate to a food bank. We can all do something. We might not have money to give, but we might have a little time or a few extra cans of food or the love in our hearts to give another pet.

Life is hard, but we each have the capacity to make it a little better for someone else. It also has the side benefit of acting as a life raft to save us when we’re discouraged that nothing ever gets better. Being a part of things getting better feels good. There’s nothing quite like it.

At my lowest, I’ve fostered shelter pets. I have the space. They need the love. I can’t afford to adopt them, and I can’t afford to donate to the many causes I would otherwise support. But I can keep an animal safe and loved in my home until they find their forever family. I can share posts to spread the message of causes I support. I can find something to do so that it feels like my time spent on this earth is more than just working, paying bills, and dying.

Make Sure Something You Save is Yourself

Helping someone or something else feels better than just sitting around and bemoaning the greed of billionaires, the stupidity of the entire Republican party, and the ridiculousness of Congress not having any conflict of interest rules that prevent them from making money off their votes. It feels better to make my community better than to endlessly make a budget that highlights that I have more going out than coming in. I feel just a little less defeated when I can find a way to be a helper, even if helping is another way I’m trying to save myself in the process.

I am trying to save myself. There are some days I don’t want to get out of bed. I don’t want to face the challenges of another day. I feel like I’m drowning.

So, I reach out a hand. Sometimes, that looks like fostering a shelter pet who needs me. It’s another reason to stay, another reason tying me to a life that is hard but often rewarding. I donate to food banks when I can, when I have extra, even if it’s just a little extra eggs from my chickens or squash from my garden.

I also try to help the earth and the wild creatures in it. I don’t kill spiders or spray wasps. I don’t put pesticides on my property, and I make my garden a wild space with plenty of shelter, food, and water for pollinators. I recycle and compost, and I pick up litter that shouldn’t be my responsibility but is because I live here, too. I take responsibility even when I’m surrounded by pesticide-spraying monoculture lawn enthusiasts. I know better, so I do better. And for a little while, that saves me, too.

The truth is, we can’t save anyone else if we don’t save ourselves.

But it’s equally true that sometimes we save ourselves by saving other people.

I don’t mean that walking red flag everyone in your life has told you not to date. I’m talking about those that cannot save themselves. Fireflies. Butterflies. Bees. Shelter animals. Families that rely on food banks to survive. People who need a little empathy extended rather than a little more judgment. A world in need of whatever we have to bring to a table that feels increasingly bare given the rising costs and rising stressors.

Saving ourselves also means going to therapy and doing the work after sessions are over. It means trying to be a better human being, treating other people in better ways. It’s having better boundaries and communicating clearly. It’s loving people well, especially ourselves.

But saving other people can be done alongside of all that. On a sinking ship, I’m saving everything I can. I’m doing what feels right. I’m not just thinking about me; I’m seeing the bigger picture.

Because I hope I make it…

but I hope you make it, too.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.