Theresa Byrne says that by avoiding or resisting something, we give more power to it.
How often do we push down the feelings or thoughts that we don’t like? How often are we told to “look at the positives” or to imagine the best? While I’m a huge fan of the Law of Attraction (and the power of the positive), it seems like we may be missing a vital, and simple, lesson in growth.
By avoiding or resisting something, we give more power to it.
By trying to shove a feeling or negative thought down, we’re expending the energy to shove or push something that could just as easily be observed and released.
What do I mean? Imagine a scenario where a friend of yours just got a great promotion while you are struggling at work. The first emotion that comes up may be one of jealousy or envy, and since that’s not a very spiritual emotion we may push it away. Or pretend it’s not there. The problem is that the feeling may cause a cavalcade of other “improper” emotions.
Your thoughts may start circling around feelings that you aren’t happy at your own job, or nothing good ever happens to you, or your general lack of “enough-ness” (the thoughts that you aren’t smart, thin, young, old, rich or fill-in-the-blank enough).
“No”, you tell yourself, “that’s not positive so I’m going to ignore it.”
But yet that nagging feeling moves into your subconscious and while you may conveniently forget the original feeling, you may continue to feel something awkward around your friend. Maybe you start to think he’s acting different, that his new promotion has gone to his head. Or you just feel uncomfortable but can’t quite put your finger on it. And that thought is still circulating in the back of your emotional brain.
While you aren’t using conscious energy to push the emotion anymore, there is still the internal resistance that’s created by not accepting the original thought or emotion. You don’t want to be “that person” that is jealous of his or her friends. You don’t picture yourself as petty or small, so it creates incongruity. Yet you are still working on not being a jealous person instead of a person that does feel jealous every now and then, which is a more accepting way of dealing with some of those not so pretty emotions.
I see this a lot when working with people that are trying to change their health or bodies. They find themselves sabotaging their own efforts to become healthy, without understanding why. Sometimes it’s a feeling of deprivation that they’re reacting to: “I worked so hard and haven’t lost a pound, so it’s okay that I eat this box of cookies.”
Or the same when it comes to working out. All of a sudden they have reasons NOT to workout. One of the best secrets to creating the body that you want is to stop fighting the body that you have. Learn how to change your view of exercise, working out, or fitness. I love the idea of PLAY.
My suggestion: for one day, identify and allow. And here’s the kicker… don’t try to fix it.
1. Allow the thoughts and feelings that show up to be there.
2. No pushing them down, or avoiding them.
3. Just accept them without judging them.
4. Don’t try to fix or change anything.
5. Just notice the thoughts and feelings.
6. Do nothing to change them.
The key is to identify the real feelings and not fix anything!
Our brains are often working on the solutions, or the fixes, and if it’s a feeling, there is no solution. Your brain wants to do something so let it just notice the feeling. Think about the feeling. Let your brain play with something shiny there.
If you need to, say, “oh that’s interesting. I just felt judgmental.” Or jealous. Or felt angry. Or wanted to say something snarky. Even notice the thoughts you have about yourself like the judgements or attempts to be “good” or “bad.”
Not trying to change your feelings or thoughts is not an easy process, we’ve been programmed to push, learn, adjust, change, course-correct, alter, recreate, etc.
Just allow them to move through you with creating a stake in your subconscious. Without resisting your feelings or thoughts, you may find that you have more energy. To be you.
Just for one day.
—originally posted at www.theresabyrne.com and republished to Medium.
Photo credit: iStock
Theresa Byrne is on FIRE!!! Totally nailed it!