Ladies, Demand What You Want

To get what you want, you have to be willing to walk away from anything else.

This was previously published on The Male Blueprint.

I hear a lot of women today complain that there are no real men anymore.  Groups of women love to get together and lament about the sad state of the male race.

Stop whining.

Could men as a whole step up their game and bring more to the table?  Hell yes they could, but complaining gets you nowhere.  Here’s what most people don’t accept.

The current system is perfect.

Our world operates according to the rules of supply and demand. If there is less demand, supply goes down, if there is more demand, supply goes up.  Currently, men are supplying exactly as much as women are demanding.  If a woman is making most of the money, taking care of the kids and cleaning the house while allowing her man to sit on the couch all day, he is doing exactly what she is demanding of him.  Men will only supply what you demand.  Conversely, if you challenge your man to become the man you desire and dream about, he or someone else will step into that role and you will be met by the man you really want, not just the man you keep settling for.

I want to say this again because it’s so important. The current system of supply and demand in male-female relationships is perfect, it’s exactly where it should be. Ladies, if you really want men to step up and become the real men you talk about, you must demand it. I’m not saying ask for it, I’m not saying hope for it, I’m saying demand it.  What does that mean? It means you don’t settle for anything less. It means if you aren’t satisfied, you walk away. Men will rise up and meet your challenge, I promise, it’s what we do best. We love challenges. We love it when women make us step up and work. We love to do work.

My man doesn’t like to work, he’s not going to step up, he’s too lazy.

Do you know why he’s lazy?  He’s lazy because you aren’t demanding more than what he’s giving you.  If you were, you would have left him.  He’s lazy because you are rewarding his laziness with a relationship.

I understand I should demand the perfect man but what if I don’t believe I’m the perfect woman?

This seems like a catch-22, I understand. What we have to remember is most of what makes us confident, attractive and desirable is what we believe, not what we might consider to be “the facts.”  To become confident, you must believe you are confident. How do you believe you are confident if you aren’t confident? You fake it until you make it. In this case, you demand the man you want and what will happen is your brain will start believing that you are the confident, attractive, desirable woman who would demand such a man.  At first you faked it, then you start to become it. It all starts with a demand.

What if my demands are so high that I can’t find men to date?

If you do this right, you will have men lining up at your door. It seems counter-intuitive, but you have to understand how much men enjoy challenge.  There is nothing sexier than a woman who has the confidence to call us out and challenge us to rise up. The part that you don’t like is the hardest thing about all this.  You must be willing you walk away if you aren’t getting what you want. I will say this five more times because it’s that important.

You must be willing to walk away.

You must be willing to walk away.

You must be willing to walk away.

You must be willing to walk away.

You must be willing to walk away.

The moment you walk away and draw that line is the moment you let the universe know it’s time to send you a better man than what you are currently used to. You will get it, but only if you are willing to walk away from anything less.

What if I’m single, do I still walk away if I’m not satisfied?

Hell yes. Don’t waste your time talking to men who are less than what you want. If you find yourself on a date or talking to a man of this lower caliber, challenge him.  Be honest and direct. “I was initially attracted to you but since you can’t talk to me for 10 seconds without looking around the bar, I’ve lost interest.  Good bye.” Then walk away. Guess what happens to that man after that? He changes. He may not come back and thank you, but he’ll remember that conversation for the rest of his life. When women give direct and honest feedback to men it gets burned in our brains forever and ever. And the best part about all this? You get to do what you’ve always wanted to do—train men to be the way you want! Most women “train” men through nagging or complaining, but now that you’ve learned a method that actually works, you can change the world one man at a time.

Don’t ask for it, don’t hope for it, demand it.


Read more by Dave Booda: The Secret to an Amazing Hook Up

Image of women walking away courtesy of Shutterstock

About Dave Booda

Dave Booda is bringing about a new way of being for men who seek to embrace their gifts and understand women. His strength is communicating eastern wisdom in a simple, effective manner that produces real, measurable changes in people's lives. Dave is also a co-founder of The Mission, a men's movement started in San Diego that helps men improve their lives in the area of purpose, understanding women, health and finances through a brotherhood of men dedicated to change and self-development.


  1. wellokaythen says:

    I thought love was more or less a Giffen good.
    It seems the more I gave the less I got.

    –The Monkees

    The classical economic model of supply and demand does have a lot of explanatory power when it comes to the dating world, especially when it comes to the kinds of dating relationships that are particularly economic in nature, like looking for a “good provider.” But, like any social scientific theory, it is not a perfect explanation. Being useful and descriptive and even reliably predictive does not make a theory airtight. It just means the theory has some usefulness. Even the “laws” of supply and demand are not immutable, perfect explanations, not even when it comes to overtly economic exchanges. There are exceptions and anomalies and paradoxes like the aforementioned “Giffen good,” where you willingly pay more to get less.

    (I keep being reminded of the fact that the Nobel Prize in Economics was awarded in consecutive years to two scholars who came to opposite conclusions from each other. The “laws” of economics are still being worked out….)

    Any argument that says a theory explains everything or that ALL human beings act according to this theory is really a statement of faith, not an academically sound argument. Saying ALL people date according to the laws of supply and demand is really a theological statement, not a social scientific statement.

    I’m not saying this because I think people are never self-interested or that people are just hearts looking to find their soul mates. But, the rational self-interest model of dating behavior fails to explain why some people just seem so totally self-destructive in choosing their mates. Others seem to have no real idea what they want or what would be best for them.

  2. Sorry, but this thread seems to be going the way of the age old question “Why is it the ‘Jerks’ are the ones always getting ‘Laid’?” Even the womens’ ‘Holy Book’ Cosmo has asked this question in an occasional article.

  3. @ wellokaythen- Astronomy was invented so that Economics could be called a science and an outstanding reference to game theory.
    @erin- don’t look to deeply into my quips, I got my GED wearing an orange jumpsuit.

    Just because a woman told me this joke doesn’t mean it isn’t reprehensible.
    Why do women have so much trouble finding well groomed, sensitive and sexy guys?
    Because those guys already have boyfriends.

    • The Blurpo says:

      ” Why do women have so much trouble finding well groomed, sensitive and sexy guys?
      Because those guys already have boyfriends. ”

      LoooooooL that was good 😀

    • When your quips reflect the idea that women are more responsible for you and themselves then you are for yourself, orange jumpsuit or Golden Arches hats aren’t going to make me stop pointing out the wrongness in that!

      • Listen I’m insulted by the Golden Arches thing…..
        Women want the same thing all entities that crawl, fly & swim want; to pass on their genes.
        It is why we evolved. The problem that we have also evolved a consciousness about how we procreate. There is ample evidence in the human endeavor and the animal kingdoms that females lie, just as much as males do and in some incidences more, about with whom they mate.
        Again, for 99% of hominid existence most mating took place between people who were at most 2nd cousins- so every baby looked alike. So basically short of being caught in the act there was no reason not to be duplicitous.

        I brought up the bonobo study to add credence to the idea that trickery is just as prevalent amongst the higher primates as it is amongst prairie chickens puffing out the feathers on their throats.

  4. thaaaank youuuu says:

    I was in a relationship for 9 months, and after the first few months my boyfriend would barely spare time for me, he would focus completely on work and neglect me, every time I mentioned how I was feeling he woulda find a way to blame it all on me, yesterday after I read this I was like FUCK IT!!!!! and I broke up with him, and I just wanted to say thank you for giving me the courage.

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