Neuroscience lets us see the facts, whereas before adults could only guess at what was going on inside a young mind. Now that we know how different a developing brain processes than an adult brain, it is something to consider when delivering information.
Did you know you are a mindreader? Young children are convinced you know all their thoughts. Do an experiment and see for yourself. In a hiding place show them a box of candy they recognize, then let them watch you dump out the contents and replace it with something completely different. (Original experiment used a box of Smarties and replaced the candy with pencils.) Now find another family member or go next door and ask the neighbor, “What’s in the box?” … Wait, before you ask that question ask your child what they think the neighbor or family will think is in the box.
Children three and under usually fail this test, because they think everyone else will know that the candy has been replaced. Can you imagine what it would feel like to believe everyone is reading your mind, but then act like they don’t know what you are talking about. I wonder if young kids think adults are being mean when they act like they don’t know what the kid is talking about. How can you help, if you are not clairvoyant? One approach could be to ask the child if they can tell you or show you because you do not know what they are thinking. Explain to them how to share their thoughts and thank them when they help you see.
Did you know a young child processes in their subconscious brain? Adults only access the powerful subconscious brain when they’re sleeping or in deep meditation. The implications are vast and alarming, this could mean the young are tapped into a super-computer. This may be why children can learn foreign languages easier than adults. The conscious part of the brain processes slowly, like an out-dated computer.
Until the conscious brain begins to engage, around age six, the young are downloading into the subconscious with no conscious filter. Can you imagine what it would feel like to lack the ability to put things into perspective, but no one else seems to have that problem. How can you help, when you can no longer see the world through your subconscious brain? One approach is to acknowledge their feelings. Your conscious perspective knows that what the child is upset about won’t matter for long, but the child lacks the ability to see it that way. You can teach them to trust in their feelings and not tell them that the way they are feeling does not matter. Let them be upset and you can take the opportunity to teach them how to cope with those real feelings, because chances are that feeling will pop up again throughout their life.
Do you know how rare early childhood memories are? Unless you have (HSAM) highly superior autobiographical memory, you will not remember what the world looked like when you were a baby. Processing through the subconscious may appear very different from the same event we are experiencing using the conscious part of our brains. Basic memories start around five, with the exception of isolated events or traumas. There is no way for you to relate to a young child, because you cannot remember what it was like to view and process things in that way.
The kindest thing we can do is to be aware of our differences. And understand the young are directly downloading and filling in the foundation they will build upon for the rest of their lives. They will not remember the details of why they love or hate a particular person, place, or thing, but it will be a part of them. You have an important job at a critical time because the foundation is an integral piece for the future structure.
—
This post is republished on Medium.
—
Photo credit: iStock