must punt on 4th down. Must leave soon. Go drink coffee with the boys. Go Trader Joe’s. pick up something for my brother’s birthday. Nice desert. Birthday card. Ate black beans yesterday started fire in kitchen pan in flames I cool say WTF, God? Flames go down lucky kicky kick luck. God everywhere I know. Birds and bats and everywhere. Mongooses too. Yogi the Bear. Mr. Magoo. Roadrunner. Popeye. Now roommate in bathroom for sure. He cough caused by sick. He kick box good real good. He fast strong healthy ‘cept cigarette smoke bad gray lungs. He snort now not realize he sick because he suck cigarettes. Maybe sneak in go bathroom. Could be quick at this point. Car roll past. Must get recorder device. Must add sound to my movies. Must record car wheels spin sound. Add to Matisse video. Spy pen secret recorder pen I buy on Amazon cheap quick $9.99 broke on arrival. Great aesthetic decision decisions.
Did I tell you where I go? DMV get my title and other stuff required by the benevolent state of Maryland. Now I live in Maryland not Virginia. SNAFU, meaning all things normal…The SNAFU is all. Map quested directions. Missed crucial pinnacle turn. Thought MapQuest had it wrong. On way back figured MQ probly had it right, my bad. I forget things quickly these days, lousy driver now too. Found street I need about 8 miles farther away than had I not missed crucial pinnacle turn. Get to DMV. All things cool. Long line. I have iPhone no care long line. All miserable except me, ha-ha. Wait ten minutes. Get to fat woman who called “Next” in surly-depressive-life-is-all-dreariness voice. I try the Hi-How-Are-You?-smile tactic. I surprised. She fairly nice before I initiate my stratagem attack. She curt though: “Where are your papers?”, like person not happy. I happy. I have papers, just like DMV online tell me. Present papers, not give her by mistake my proof of B. F. Skinner psycho disability papers that for free dental four fillings, thankful to God and major planets. She say insurance document no good, must be changed to new Maryland address. Now I live in Maryland not Virginia. I say, “Oh.” She says: “Do you have your title?”, she acts like she smarter than me. I say: “I no have title, Miss Big Lay Lady.” She say no title, no go no further with routine which cost me taxpayer money I no have. I say: “Did Christopher Columbus say ‘pshaw’ when he discover America? Did Christopher Columbus, considering all scientific evidence, actually discover America?” I say: “Maybe heathen red Indian and squaws discover America first, what you think?” Then I say: “Pshaw, I go home now good boy no complain about governor’s incompetence and incompetents.” I say: “You know governor? Who governor?”, she calls security guard. I say: “Before the good state of Maryland arrest me lock me up Sing-Sing , can you please tell me what documents and procedures and mannerisms I need on next trip to cool DMV? Oh, by the way. I bring exactly what papers government of Maryland says online I must bring. Perhaps you should tell Mr. Governor So-and- So about said discrepance. Also online representative of good state you-know-which sent me to wrong DMV first. First place 62 miles from here. I no complain, though. All praise the Lord. If you good, I meet you in heaven,” then big black cop arrest me. Tackle me down to the ground. I scream: “Sonny Jurgensen! I win football award me MVP 85-pound Rough Riders in 1963! Sonny MVP Redskins! Anti-social malcontent drugged-up photographers take picture of Sonny and me together! WE smile like President! You make big mistake, Mr.!” other big black cops come. They beat me drag me off to maximum security prison mental guard hospital. That where I write from now during group therapy, except when doctor say: “Mr. Funk-Funk, if you do not speak, I shall have to stick a needle in your backside with a heavy-duty psychotropic tranquilizer in it. I will send you to bed for 48 hours. Now talk, Mr.” I say: “Shakespeare Say: Now Gods stand up for bastard SNAFUs.” That shut doctor Steinenburg up up up.