Nothing Happens Overnight But Everything Happens All At Once

WAKING UP 40 YEARS LATER

If I were to sentence you to forty years in prison…there is a high probability you would fall apart. If I told you that you must spend twenty years of your life in a dead end marriage…I’m sure you would scoff. If I offered ten years at a dead-end job you most likely would decline.

Despite this truth, how many of you turned 40 this year?

How long did your life really take? Where did the ten years go by when you were thirty? Where is the twenty year career when you accepted at twenty? How can you wake up one day and life really pass you by?

These are compelling questions. These questions force us to examine our perception. Is one year of hard work on a relationship really that daunting when we think in this way? Is biding our time for one month to see someone’s attempts at amends really that tough? At what point do we realize maybe the issue is something besides time?

Why does time seem to stand still for some and go by fast for others? There is a saying. I’m sure you know it. We have all heard it.

TIME FLIES WHEN YOU’RE HAVING FUN

What a headline. How many moments in childhood do you recall where it seemed like only one minute but it was really an hour? Is time flying really fun or is it simply being entranced under hypnosis?

I once held a conversation with a woman across country. I listened to no music, podcasts or played any games. Our conversation was between her and I. We talked the entire time on a sixteen-hour drive. No moments of pause. No awkward silences. No monologues from either of us. The drive felt as if it was a simple drive from Houston to Dallas.

What makes time so interesting there is no time-sense organ or single pathway to carry temporal information from the periphery to the brain (2).

How can you wake up one day and life really pass you by?

There is some scientific research to support a dedicated ‘internal clock’, a centralized system for measuring time across stimuli and tasks (3). It is possible, depending on what is occurring, our brain can process different experiences in different intervals.

This would make sense, given the headline. I write extensively about perception. This is largely because perception is often misinterpreted. Perceptions, at least scientifically, deal with using sensory to process information.

The way people understand sensory information is an entirely different subject. It’s like reading. I know many who can read. My daughter is one of them. Not everyone who reads words properly comprehends them.

Reading and Reading Comprehension are two different concepts.

This is like time. Experiencing time and living time are different.

BEING PRESENT IN LIFE

This takes consciousness. What I mean is the conscious interruption in your mind to not allow routine tasks to put you on autopilot. Have you ever been thinking on your way to a friend’s only to realize you drove somewhere completely different on mistake?

You take turns, signal lights, stop at a light and suddenly go “What!? Why am I here?”

This is a way of experiencing life on autopilot. This is an example of not being present in your life.

This is true in relationships as well. I think some discovered this during COVID-19. Some had preset lives which involved very little contact with their domestic partner (i.e. person who resides in a home but is not yet married). Routines, pre-planned schedules, tasks and automatic activities governed their relationships. Once everything stopped people were forced to be conscious of their partner (by seeing them 24 hours a day). Their conscious attention concluded this was not the person they wanted.

Is one year of hard work on a relationship really that daunting when we think in this way?

There was a significant drop in marriages during COVID-19 in five states (Arizona, Florida, Missouri, New Hampshire, and Oregon). Conversely there was also a decline in divorces in those states as well. (4)

The sample was pretty broad. In my opinion a good overall sample of the population was represented. Florida is known to have a pretty diverse crowd. Missouri is a strong midwestern bastion. Arizona is a very different place than anywhere else. New Hampshire captures the Northeast and Oregon is clearly on the west coast.

Forcing people to be conscious, interrupt their routines, and be present had clear observable effects during COVID-19. Married people didn’t want to divorce as much, and people didn’t get into marriages compulsively.

PRESENT MOVES TIME MORE SLOWLY

Being present makes us clear headed. Being present allows us to pay attention. Being present clearly slows things down. It is this concept I believe makes things so daunting for people. When people are forced to be present, time slows to a crawl.

Being present forces attention. Attention increases retina ability to capture light, stimuli and other important features. Our minds need to gather information.

This process is not passive. It is active.

When we actively participate in any activity it requires effort. Effort comes through physical, mental and emotional exertion. Our minds instantly notice this change of pace.

I wonder how many people feel like they wake up one day only because they were not present in their lives.

ARE YOU HYPNOTIZING YOURSELF?

Maybe you feel like your entire life passed you by because it really did. You were not present. Our lives are filled with automatic routines.

A very compelling Armenian Philosopher named Geroge Ivanovich Gurdjieff held a compelling idea. Gurdjieff’s basic assertion was human life is ordinarily lived similar to sleep. Gurdjieff believed we could transcend our sleeping state. In order to transcend this state, it requires work. When humans achieve their awakening, they can reach remarkable levels of vitality and awareness. (5)

I wonder how many people feel like they wake up one day only because they were not present in their lives.

Although this is more philosophy than science I am compelled to agree. We all have very similar experiences. Driving somewhere on accident unconsciously, going to the fridge late at night when we’re not hungry or standing up to go look for something where we pause to realize we have no idea what we are looking for.

This is very human. All these events happened to me. I am sure it happened to you at some point as well.

This brings me to a very central theme.

SELF HYPNOSIS

I bring the theme of Self Hypnosis up because I believe it is possible for many in a relationship to be unconscious of the one they love. I believe it is possible for many to become completely unconscious by going through their relationships in almost sleepless state.

If you allow your entire life to become dominated by routine, automatic behaviors, who is to say you are not also doing this with your spouse?

Could you really blame your spouse if they wake up one day and say they say to you that they feel like you’re a stranger?

I once said this exact phrase to my ex-wife. I told her, “I feel like I don’t know you.”

This might not be her fault. It might have been all mine. My life was so rigid it was dictated by routine. I always said, “I am a creature of habit and like routine.” Perhaps, this was the very fault of my failure in my first marriage.

As a result, I try to create as much non routine as possible. I do not want to Self Hypnotize myself. Where routine is necessary I make a point to vary routine by doing mental exercises to force attention. This can be by a small action like deciding to take in a deep breath. It does not need to be complicated. I simply need an action to interrupt my autopilot tendency. A tendency we all are subject to.

BE PRESENT BE CONSCIOUS BE AWARE

The lessons are true. The headline is important. We wake up one day to find everything happening at once. It can feel like an overnight experience but in reality, it is a matter of whether you are checked in or not.

I find this true. You should too.

Being aware of our surroundings requires a pause. This pause mandates an increase of attention. This attention is derived from work. Work cannot be separated from effort. This will slow down time and make it come to a crawl at times. Effort will always be uncomfortable because it only comes when we consciously exert more than is required.

Whenever we are called to do more, we pay attention. Although this may sound daunting, the reality is you are either in a dream like state or in a conscious like state. It is amazing how our minds can preoccupy ourselves with fiction. Many do this everyday. We think of unrealized dreams, imagined consequences, alternative realities which never occur and have pretend conversations with people we are mad at. The last one is silly and we are all guilty of that.

Let’s keep the silliness at bay, the dreams for sleep and the reality for today. Unfortunately, not all my secrets will be discovered in this free article. You must pick up a copy of my international best-selling book “I Made It Then I Didn’t” or order “Many Paths To Profit” for that.

The concept I teach in this article is free. My personal stories are not. Don’t let pennies get in the way of showing you something much more valuable than a dollar. There’s no such thing as a free lunch. If you wake up and it feels like your entire life passed you by decide to become aware. Awareness will slow down today to a snail’s crawl and you will wonder how much longer will it last.

To Your Knowledge Success!

Sources

1) The life of Christopher Knight Lopez a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t” & Co-Author of “Many Paths To Profit” with the original shark from Shark Tank Kevin Harrington.

2) Gibson JJ. Events are perceivable but time is not. In: Fraser JT, Lawrence N, editors. The Study of Time II. New York: Springer; 1975. pp. 295–301

3) Allman MJ, Teki S, Griffin TD, Meck WH. Properties of the internal clock: first- and second-order principles of subjective time. Annu Rev Psychol. 2014;65:743–771. doi: 10.1146/annurev-psych-010213–115117

4) Marriage and Divorce Decline during the COVID-19 Pandemic: A Case Study of Five States. Wendy D Manning 1=, Krista K Payne. PMCID: PMC8302068 NIHMSID: NIHMS1724907 PMID: 34307872

5) Web Search. Briannica. Biography of George Ivanovich Gurdjieff. Accessed 12 December 713AM. Web: https://www.britannica.com/biography/George-Ivanovitch-Gurdjieff

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Certain elements in this story may have been fictionalized to illustrate a creative story. This is a form of artistic expression not narration of fact. Not a form of investment advice. Please consult a professional registered to give you advice about your individual circumstance. This article is for educational purposes and entertainment purposes only. Please do not email the author about advice on investing or strategies on making investments.

About Christopher: Christopher Knight Lopez is a Professional Hustler turned International Best Seller and Published Author of “I Made It Then I Didn’t” and Co-Author with Kevin “The Shark” Harrington “Many Paths To Profit”. Christopher has opened over 7 businesses in his 15-year career. Christopher’s purpose is to take advantage of various market-driven opportunities. Christopher is a certified Master Project Manager (MPM), and Accredited Financial Analyst (AFA). Christopher previously held his Series 65 securities license examination and was a Master Financial Planner (MFP). Christopher also held his General Lines — Life, Accident, Health & HMO. Christopher has managed a combined 286mm USD in reported Assets Under Management & Assets Under Advisement. Christopher has work experience in 33 countries, raised over 50mm USD for various businesses, and grossed over 13.0mm in his personal career. Christopher worked in the highly technical industries of: biotechnology, finance, securities, manufacturing, real estate, and residential mortgages. Christopher is a United States Air Force Veteran. Christopher has a passion for family, competitive sports, fishing, martial arts and advocacy for entrepreneurs. Christopher provides self-help classes for up-and-coming entrepreneurs. Christopher’s passion to mentor comes from belief that entrepreneurs need guidance. The world is full of conflicting information about entrepreneur identity. See more at www.christopherklopez.com.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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