Most people aren’t as interesting as they think.
There are three reasons leaders are boring communicators. They are infatuated with their own ideas. They are explaining how to do someone’s job. Or they are trying to prove their competence. In the most toxic cases, all three are true.
You don’t have to be charismatic, just less dull.
How to be less dull:
#1. Talk less about yourself.
#2. Try curiosity.
The most fascinating people are curious about you. The exception is a critic. Critics are only interesting when you aren’t part of their story.
Smile when you’re curious about people. Leaders are expert sourpusses. They think it makes them look powerful and smart. It only makes them repulsive. Geniuses are playful and the powerful are relaxed.
#3. Seek advice.
“The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.” Henry David Thoreau
Tell people you’re seeking advice from several people.
Always explore how someone’s suggestion might work. Never dismiss it quickly. Ask, “How would that work?” or “What would I achieve if I did this?” Smile when you ask.
Explore with openness. “One of the things that comes to mind if we did this is… How could we respond to that?”
#4. Ask head and heart questions.
What do you think?
How did you come up with this idea?
What makes you believe this will help? (Spoken with optimism and openness.)
How do you feel?
What’s energizing you?
#5. Simplify.
Simplicity is energizing. Any fool can kill momentum with obfuscation. Clarify by defining success. Simplify by focusing on near-term actions. What can we do now?
Mind your conversations. It’s hard to energize and anesthetize at the same time.
How can leaders be less dull?
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Previously Published on leadershipfreak with Creative Commons License
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