Does Love Steal Legacy?

…

Is love — intimate love — not unequivocal chaos?

A beautiful disaster…

A monolithic gift that demands blinding sacrifice…

An overwhelming, embracing cosmos of stars and stardust, hand-in-hand with the vacuumed void that exists in between them?

…

How I yearn to love.

How I lust for the touch and taste of what only love can give.

The present of presence.

The vivacity of virtue.

The rendering of a heart too distant, too still, too wintry, into a fiery, charismatic, embracing center of being.

The vigorous fire in which we all feel not just wanted, but lit by the flames of something undefinable and undeniably secure.

Love is…the proof to the unquestionable awe of existence.

…

Though…

I know that the freedom of love, the coming of the stars…

Means renouncing my empire.

It means risking my bedrock of identity and future legacy.

It means limiting what would otherwise be limitlessness here on this world, within the holdings of a gravitational integrity.

For the distraction of love is too disorienting and too distant from who I am.

….

The blood of my purpose, of my seemingly one-life’s future, is too dissimilar to the blood of romance and union — they are toxic to one another.

As such is my unfolding understanding of life.

That with uniqueness and vision, comes a necessary sacrifice of some other intention, desire, or dream.

A dream that leads to internal chaos and misery when suffocated by self-indulgence and the need to be someone’s someone.

Even starstruck love.

…

Or…maybe I am blind.

Maybe love is the gatekeeper.

The key holder.

The arbiter of access to the fluidity of heaven and Earth.

That parallel love, complimentary love, love that leads rather than distracts is the key to the gates of the both the vastness of the heavens and the grounding of one’s world.

…

But that then leads to the evidence that not any love will suffice.

Sometimes love is not a coupling of souls but the expansion of one.

Sometimes it is the catalyst that leads to accessing the supernatural of consciousness.

Sometimes love is what defines legacy, not detains it.

…

And to that love I would give myself.

To trust undeniably that this romance would not only allow, but lead me back to my feet.

To steer me from vacuum and void back to gravity and legacy.

To command of me the return to my gifts and labours with new sight and adoration.

A love that — instead of blinding — reveals.

…

So, to that love, I patiently wait.

I stand in my Earthly purpose, and whisper to the distant stars.

“I am here.”

Sometimes I wonder if my writing is going to be hard to take on as a reader.

For a lot of my work, I start from a dark corners. I come first with questions, which tend to be complimented by even more questions, doubt, skepticism, and maybe even dejected perspectives.

However, I don’t think questioning comes without needing to dive deep into shadows, difficult unknowns and overall discomforts. We don’t question only to find perfect, enlightened answers. We question in order to find ourselves. And that means diving into the depths at times in order to know what it takes to appreciate coming back up for air.

I do my best to lead to some sort of “enlightenment”, or epiphany, or hopeful clarity.

I question life and love and legacy to better understand myself and the human experience.

And love to me, is actually one of the most beautiful things to ever experience. But, I’ve had to question it, be without it, and see what it’s like to yearn for it in order to better understand it.

Love is not just love.

It’s something that we should be intentional about, both in who we choose to do it with(to the best of our ability), and how we get the best out of it, i.e. depth, growth, direction.

I love love…

But early in life I did it out of lust, impulse, and from whatever direction it showed up.

And in that time, I’ve realized that just because it feels good, doesn’t mean it can’t be wrong, distracting, and even destructive.

To me, real love will make you a better person.

And it will lead you to more discipline in your identity, more expansion of your heart, and more effectiveness in your influence.

Truth and Love, Reader.

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