One of the biggest misconceptions of modern Christianity is the idea that spiritual warfare was something that only existed “back then.”
Back in biblical times.
Back when Jesus walked the earth.
Back when the apostles cast out demons and healed people and confronted darkness face to face.
Somewhere along the way, many people quietly convinced themselves that all of that belonged to ancient history while modern life became purely psychological, medical, political, or emotional. Honestly, I think that belief alone has left a tremendous number of people spiritually blind.
Not fearful.
Blind.
Spiritual warfare rarely looks the way Hollywood taught us it would. Most of the time it looks profoundly ordinary. It looks like confusion, compulsion, addiction, bitterness, manipulation, narcissism, emotional fragmentation, pride masquerading as wisdom, and victimhood masquerading as identity. It looks like people destroying each other while insisting they are acting from love.
That’s the part many of us fail to recognize.
Darkness rarely introduces itself as darkness. It introduces itself as agreement. Agreement with resentment and fear, with chaos and the wound of trauma, agreement with the ego and with the lie, one small agreement at a time.
That is part of what I explore in Everyday Demons. Not horror movie demons. Everyday ones. The subtle spiritual and psychological influences that slowly pull us away from peace, groundedness, truth, responsibility, humility, discernment, and God Himself.
Before somebody runs wild with this post, let me say something clearly. I am not suggesting there is a demon hiding behind every bad mood, every mental health struggle, every conflict, or every difficult season. Mental health issues are real. Trauma is real. Nervous system dysregulation is real. Depression, anxiety, addiction, personality disorders, and emotional wounds are all very real human experiences that deserve compassion, accountability, wisdom, support, and at times professional help.
At the same time, I believe we have become far too quick to explain everything purely through psychology while completely dismissing the spiritual dimension of being human. The two are often intertwined far more than modern culture is comfortable admitting.
Scripture speaks constantly about vigilance, discernment, temptation, influence, deception, and unseen battles shaping human behavior. Ephesians 6:12 states it plainly: “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”
That is not ancient language describing a dead reality.
That is now.
That is today.
That is us.
None of this means we are supposed to walk around terrified of demons behind every corner. Fear itself becomes a doorway when we obsess over darkness instead of remaining grounded in truth, responsibility, peace, and God. Discernment matters precisely because not everything is spiritual warfare and not everything is merely psychological either. The problem is that many of us have lost the ability to discern the difference.
Over the years, I have seen this personally in my own life, in relationships, in coaching work, and in environments where emotional dysfunction quietly became normalized. I spent years in a deeply narcissistic relationship where chaos eventually became so familiar that peace actually felt uncomfortable to me. Looking back now, I can see how easily unhealed trauma, fear, abandonment wounds, insecurity, ego, lust, resentment, and emotional dependency created openings where darkness could continually influence both people involved.
Not possess.
Influence.
There’s a difference.
One of the oldest teachings within Christianity is that the enemy studies our weaknesses. Fear. Pride. Shame. Isolation. Trauma. Addiction. Rage. Insecurity. Unforgiveness. Those are often the places where destructive influence gains the easiest foothold because wounded places distort discernment, and distorted discernment creates confusion.
Confusion is expensive.
I think one of the clearest examples of this today is how many people now confuse enabling with love. We are constantly told that love means endless tolerance, endless access, endless emotional accommodation, endless acceptance without accountability, endless participation in dysfunction no matter how destructive it becomes.
But real love does not require self-abandonment.
Christ never modeled enabling chaos. He modeled compassion with discernment. Boundaries with love. Truth with grace.
The moment healthy boundaries appear inside unhealthy systems, people often panic. Suddenly the boundary becomes “unloving,” “cold,” “selfish,” or “cruel.” Yet what is often actually happening underneath is that abandonment wounds, control patterns, trauma bonds, entitlement, emotional dependency, or narcissistic dynamics are being triggered.
Honestly, that is where psychology and spiritual warfare overlap powerfully.
Sometimes Satan does not need dramatic possession. Sometimes confusion alone is enough. If people remain emotionally reactive, perpetually offended, addicted to chaos, disconnected from peace, unable to self-reflect, unable to tolerate accountability, and unable to discern truth clearly, destruction slowly unfolds through ordinary human behavior.
One compromise at a time.
One agreement at a time.
One open doorway at a time.
Martin Luther once wrote, “The world and the flesh are like a claw and the devil uses both.” That line feels incredibly relevant right now because the flesh, the world, and spiritual darkness often work together in ways we barely notice anymore. Our culture feeds ego constantly. It rewards outrage. It monetizes division. It encourages emotional impulsivity while weakening discernment.
Then we wonder why so many people feel spiritually exhausted, emotionally fragmented, anxious, addicted, angry, confused, and disconnected from themselves.
Chaos grows where truth is neglected.
St. Augustine taught that disordered loves are often at the root of human suffering. In other words, when we love things out of proper order, when ego comes before God, when validation comes before truth, when comfort comes before integrity, and when obsession comes before peace, our lives slowly move out of alignment.
The fruit eventually reveals the root.
I think many of us need to stop viewing spiritual warfare as some distant mystical battle while failing to recognize how it manifests in ordinary moments every single day. It shows up in the lies we entertain, the resentment we feed, the boundaries we refuse to honor, the addictions we normalize, and the chaos we repeatedly return to simply because it feels familiar.
I have opened doors in my own life through fear, through unhealthy relationships, through spiritual confusion, through misplaced trust, through pride, and through trying to save people I could not save. I know what it feels like to lose groundedness. I know what it feels like to ignore discernment because empathy overruled wisdom.
That’s why I write about this now, because it’s becoming more and more of an experience for each of us in our world today. And the hopeful part in all of this is that darkness does not get the final word.
The entire message of Christ is restoration. Clarity. Redemption. Healing. Freedom. Responsibility. Peace. The answer is not fear and it is not obsession with darkness either. The answer is awareness paired with alignment. Discernment must be strengthened. Unhealthy doorways must be closed. Trauma has to be healed. Accountability matters. Reconnection to truth matters. Peace must be cultivated intentionally, and greater awareness around what we are feeding spiritually, emotionally, psychologically, and relationally becomes essential, since eventually everything we feed grows.
Including light.
Some people only feel loved when you tolerate their dysfunction.
That sentence explains far more relationships than most of us are willing to admit.
Sometimes the moment we stop enabling chaos, stop abandoning ourselves, stop over-accommodating emotional instability, stop participating in manipulation, or finally set a healthy boundary, we suddenly become “cold,” “crazy,” “selfish,” or “unloving.”
Why?
Because unhealthy systems often experience boundaries as rejection.
That truth changes everything once we see it clearly.
So I’m curious…
What part of this musing hit you the hardest today?
Have you ever experienced a relationship where peace disappeared the moment you stopped tolerating dysfunction?
Drop a thought below. I read far more of these comments than people realize.
And if this stirred something in you, share it. A lot of people are drowning in confusion while calling it love.
As always loving and praying for you and our world,
Rene Schooler
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Rene’ Schooler(Author)
