Publisher’s note: This piece was first published in 2014 and we update it regularly because, while the language around masculinity keeps changing, the core pressures often do not. The economy changed. Technology changed. Fatherhood changed. Dating changed. The expectations placed on men expanded faster than most people were ever taught to adapt. At The Good Men Project, we are trying to widen the idea of what it means to be a man—to make it more inclusive, more emotionally honest, more diverse, and less bound by the systemic sexism, racism, and homophobia that have long shaped male identity. We believe a more expansive version of masculinity benefits everyone.
If anything, these questions have become more urgent. Men are now being asked to be emotionally fluent, relationally present, economically resilient, socially aware, and adaptable in a world that feels less stable by the year. Some are rising to meet that challenge. Some are confused. Some are angry. Most are trying to figure it out in real time. That is exactly why this conversation still matters.
1) Unrealistic and Stereotypical Portrayals of Men in the Media and the Culture
Tired of seeing dumb and deadbeat dads? Sick of every man on TV being a sex-obsessed womanizer? So are men. Men are often seen as incompetent, misogynistic, brutish slobs who only think about sex, beer and sports and have few other redeeming qualities. On the other end of the spectrum, however, is the superhero—the man who is financially successful, in perfect shape, rich, handsome, brilliant, athletic—the gold standard, and an almost impossible ideal.
These two extremes are but two of the false choices of manhood—society constantly asks men to choose between being “overly sensitive men” or hyper-aggressive bullies, financial providers for their families or absent fathers, “men of the house” or “pussy-whipped.” And so the “man-box” begins—the ways in which “being a man” is acceptable by our culture is narrow and limiting.
In 2026, that box isn’t only enforced by movies and TV. It’s enforced by feeds, algorithms, and the constant pressure to perform a version of masculinity that is instantly legible online.
Where are the portrayals of the many men who are complex, kind, communicative, nurturing? The men who are able to be both warriors and poets as needed, able to love deeply and for the long-term, with multi-dimensional abilities about a whole host of things? Oh, hey,—that’s almost every guy we know at The Good Men Project.
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2) Combatting Racism, Sexism, Homophobia and The Man-Box
All of these seemingly different social issues stem from society’s views of masculinity. Racism comes directly from men being told their role is to “provide and protect”. Most of systemic racism comes white supremacists seeking to gain economic advantage. A man is not a man unless he is a financial success (so the old stereotype goes). And racism has long been used as a way to leverage financial success for a small group of people at the top. Sexism comes directly from the idea that women are “less than” men. It’s part economics, part control, part access to sex. Homophobia is a way of marginalizing other men—as well as cutting men off from platonic touch (“No homo”) and emotional intelligence. All of this leads to the “Man-Box” — the idea that there is one “right” way to be a man, while marginalizing others who are different than that idealized man. There’s a reason oppressed groups are oppressed.
We’re fighting all of that.
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3) Relationships of Every Kind
When people think of men and relationships, the first thing that often comes to mind is sexual relationships. But the truth is, men are just as interested in and committed to a host of other kinds of relationships. Male friendships, fathers and their sons and daughter, sons and their fathers and mothers. Familial relationships of all kinds. Long term committed relationships between loving partners. Platonic friendships. Work relationships. Online relationships. Meeting new people. Friendships between gay and straight men that go beyond stereotypes. Men loving their children with their whole heart and soul, and making conscious decisions to love differently than their own parents. ALL of those relationships are part of the psyche of today’s man, and all are relationships that should be celebrated by our society and culture. After all, a loving relationship with any other human being is a sign of strength.
For more great relationships and dating content delivered to your inbox, join us on Substack here.
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4) The Disposability of Men & Boys
Shipbreaking: Photo by Pierre Torset
Men have historically been the first to war, the first into a burning building, the last to exit a sinking ship. Men are seen as the champions of economic progress and the ones who are there to put into place the infrastructure that drives our transportation and communication systems. But there are hidden costs—every year thousands of men die in the coal mines, railroads, sewers, satellite towers and other dangerous workplaces that are too often taken for granted. From the invisibility of boys who are being sex trafficked to men who are being exploited as cheap manual labor, there is something in our collective consciousness that treats men and boys as disposable. Even in the world of sports and entertainment, this is true—read any one of our countless articles on CTE in the NFL, for examples. Showcase someone as a hero—but when they get catastrophically injured, there is always someone next in line.
What we think of as “progress” often comes with an enormous price tag for men and boys. A clear example of this is in the shipbreaking yards of Chittagong. Cruise ships, ocean liners, freighters get pulled up on a beach and the most impoverished men and boys in the surrounding community break them down with mallets and bats. This is where ships go to die; it’s where men and boys do, too.
Men and boys are also invisible victims of rape and sexual assault. There is no clear language, few outlets for them to talk about it, and an often society-driven reluctance for them to come forward.
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Father and son
5) Parenting, Stay-At-Home Dads and Paternity Leave
While times are changing and stereotypes along with them, there are many places where moms are still seen as the default parent, the one who is more “natural” at the act of parenting and caring for children. Dads are clearly present in the lives of their children, but Stay-At-Home-Dads are (still) all too often seen as slackers or losers when nothing could be further from the truth. They are there for their children because they want to be a part of their children’s lives.
And yet, men are not supported in learning about their roles of becoming a father in the same way that women are taught about becoming mothers. This starts early—boys don’t play with dolls. And then goes all the way to the workplace: men—even men with money and status and privilege—often cannot take paternity leave without it being questioned. Men also find enormous difficulties when it comes to divorce and custody.
The role of active, engaged fathers should be coveted. We are seeing more fathers step fully into emotional presence, caregiving, and the invisible labor of family life—but the workplace, the culture, and many of the old assumptions still haven’t quite caught up. That is not going to happen if men are only seen as financial providers who are incapable of nurturing.
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6) The LGBTQ Movement and the Expansion of Gender and Sexuality
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7) Men, Money, and the Pressure to be a Financial Success
It’s good, of course, to have enough money to pay your bills and live within your means. And in a family unit, it has long been assumed that men would be the one to provide for their family. Even in cases where there is a husband and wife and the wife is working—it’s still assumed that the husband is someone going to be *responsible* for making sure the family is financially OK.
The pressures to be a financial success lead some men to abuse the system. And others to feel like a failure, for not being able to live up to society’s expectation of them. All of this is made even more difficult by a world that is changing even faster than most of us can keep up with it. That sentence has only become more true. AI, automation, layoffs, the gig economy, and the rising cost of everyday life have made “provider” feel like a moving target for many men. There are fewer career jobs that have built-in security and that you can retire from with a pension. Robots, technology and automation really does mean there are fewer jobs out there. For a high percentage of families, a $1,000 unexpected expense would be catastrophic.
It is up to us to co-create a future where everyone really does have access to financial security and it is not tied so inextricably to being a man.
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8) Sports as a Lens of Culture and Masculinity
Sports has typically been the domain of men—not that women aren’t wonderful athletes and fierce competitors, but it’s inarguable that men on average have been faster, stronger, more powerful. Sports highlight so many positive aspects of traditional masculinity—strength and power, after all, are wonderful qualities when used for good. Sports icons have historically been our heroes; they are beautiful, golden boys, idolized. But all sides of masculinity come out in the world of sports—bullying, power struggles, homophobia, and sexual abuse. The difficulties of parenting (or taking paternity leave) when you have a high-profile, high-paying job—and people depend on you for their sports fix. The high incidence of concussions in the NFL leads to discussions about mental health. Covering up of sexual abuse so that sports heroes can keep playing affects everyone.
And what about men who simply have no interest in sports, particularly competitive sports. Why must they feel ostracized? Shouldn’t sports be an option for a fully realized life, but not a requirement? The conversation about men and sports ends up being a conversation about both the best and the worst of men and masculinity.
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9) The Young and the Old, the Strong and the Weak
Men who are old and men who are young don’t fit into the two biggest parameters of idealized masculinity— older men are seen as weak and feeble while younger men are not yet financially successful.
But beyond age, there are other forms of societally defined weakness that keep men out of the traditional man-box. If you are not able-bodied—i.e. if you are disabled in some way, weakened by injury or disease, or suffering from mental illness—you are told to “man up” and “take it like a man.” Or worse, you are outwardly marginalized, shamed, bullied, rendered invisible, somehow excluded from the boys club. It may be reasons why body-image problems are becoming increasingly in the realm of the masculine. A quest for perfection of the physical body is a way to prove strength and prove manhood. But is that the direction we really want to go?
Granting men permission to be whatever they are—young, old, weak, strong, able, physically challenged, happy, depressed—is not a just part of manhood. It’s a part of life in the 21st century.
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10) Men Need to Step Up, and Everyone Needs to Step Up for Men: The Climate Emergency and the Prison Industrial Complex
Climate change not only *could* destroy life as we know it—it already IS destroying life as we know it. And when people are literally fighting for resources—waging all out wars—men will be the ones on the battlefield. Shouldn’t we figure it out before that?
Meanwhile—the prison system affects men disproportionately, and we don’t talk about it nearly enough. There is no shortage of questions. Does the prison system work to create people who are better humans than they were before they went in? How does a man change while inside? Are men and women given equal sentences for equal crimes? What role does mental illness play in those who commit crimes and are imprisoned? What about race? What it is like for kids who have a parent in prison? How difficult is it for guys who are trying to parent their children from prison? What impact is the school-to-prison pipeline having on our nation’s boys? And how do we work towards a better understanding of how violence and aggression lead to the most horrific of crimes so we can prevent them from occurring? The answers to questions like these will bring about change, and change is needed to solve the societal impact of crime and punishment in the 21st century and its effect on men.
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11) Raising Boys Today
Boys have unique challenges. In the past, the two ways of raising boys were to either dismiss bad behavior with “boys will be boys” or to admonish boys for showing signs of weakness, particularly emotional weakness, with the phrase “be a man.” Where is the recognition that boys are complex creatures, with a range of needs, and that growing into a man is not a one-size-fits-all proposition?
Whether you are raising boys as a parent, as an educator, or as a role model—or just care about boys today—there are few resources and agreed-upon methods. How can we teach boys to respect not only women but also other boys and themselves? How do we help boys affected by racism? Talk to boys about #MeToo and sexual consent? And how do we have conversations with boys that let them know they can be victims of sexual assaults, a seldom talked about topic? What about boys who are growing up outside the socially accepted gender spectrum? Trans children? LGBTQ? What to do when boys are falling behind in school? Are boys being over-diagnosed with ADHD? How do we address violence and aggression—how do we prevent things like bullying and school shootings?
From dealing with social media, loneliness, education, politics, consent culture, and climate anxiety—boys these days need more support than ever before.
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12) Helping to Solve the Bigger Problems of the World Today
Racism, Sexism, Homophobia. White supremacy. Environmental Issues, Climate Change, and Climate Activism. The negativity, polarization and abuse in politics. War. Sexual Violence. Economic instability and inequality of wealth.
Yes, men want to help solve all of those.
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And there is something else worth saying here. The Good Men Project did not begin as a content strategy or a trend response. It began as a serious attempt to listen to men’s real stories and to create a place where those stories could actually breathe. Over time, that grew into a much larger ecosystem—daily publishing, relationships, fatherhood, mental health, ethics, culture, Substacks, Medium publications, membership, partnerships, and a growing archive of writing that keeps asking what healthier manhood can look like in public and in private.
Before The Good Men Project was a platform, it was a book. The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood brought together thirty-one essays from men across backgrounds—rich, poor, Black, white, gay, straight, urban, rural, famous, ordinary—each one telling the truth about the challenges, failures, turning points, and hard-won insights that shape male identity. The fact that the book is still available matters to us. Not because we expect everyone to run out and buy it, but because it reminds us—and everyone else—that this conversation did not begin last week in a podcast clip or a comment thread. We’ve been listening for a long time.
Please email [email protected] with questions.
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We’d love your views on men and masculinity in the 21st century. Please submit here.
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“Here’s the thing about The Good Men Project. We are trying to create big, sweeping, societal changes—overturn stereotypes, eliminate racism, sexism, homophobia, be a positive force for good for things like education reform and the environment. And we’re also giving individuals the tools they need to make individual change—with their own relationships, with the way they parent, with their ability to be more conscious, more mindful, and more insightful. For some people, that could get overwhelming. But for those of us here at The Good Men Project, it is not overwhelming. It is simply something we do—every day. We do it with teamwork, with compassion, with an understanding of systems and how they work, and with shared insights from a diversity of viewpoints.” —Lisa Hickey, Publisher of The Good Men Project and CEO of Good Men Media Inc.
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Photo credits: [Main] iStock — [boys jumping] samnas / creative commons license — [disposability] Courtesy of photographer Pierre Torset — [father and son] oabe / flickr — [young man] _airrun / flickr —- [relationships] and ratha / flickr — [Jackie Robinson and friends] AP file photo 1951 — [hands] oregondot / flickr — [future] hatwoman / flickr — [bottom] simple insomnia / flicker / Relationships: Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash / Photo by Alex Iby on Unsplash / Photo by John Schnobrich on Unsplash
This list makes me proud to support GMP however I can. Regarding the commenters, all I can say is “Wow!” What an extraordinary diversity of opinions and perspectives. And this is the venue for getting these out into the world. Although I am always suspicious of generalizations, I would say at this point in time that we here in the U.S. are not going to solve much of this, as it seems we are headed in the wrong direction and, unfortunately, once again, macho rules. More hopeful for our European brothers and sisters.
We have dug this hole ourselves. It’s going to take generations to climb out of it. Women have been trying for over a millennia to climb to equality and they aren’t there yet. While I appreciate that there’s actually discussion about these issues now, the men in the discussion are still few and still not changing.
This is such a powerful and needed piece. It touches on so many realities men face that often go unspoken—emotional suppression, outdated gender roles, invisible trauma, and the constant pressure to perform. What really resonates is the call to redefine masculinity not by shrinking it, but by expanding it to include vulnerability, caregiving, diversity, and emotional intelligence. A better version of manhood lifts everyone.
Compared to men, women face more discrimination, have less rights and are more prone to rape, sexual assault, and harassment. They are often more judged and hated for being wome. 90% of both men and women have a bias against women. Women are more likey to be depressed because of their hormonal levels and outside factors. Men are more likey to commit suicide because if outside factors. Their bodies are more fragile and disgusting in comparison to men. They have more nerve receptors meaning they feel more pain due to response to stimuli. They ate more emotional so they are… Read more »
So because their issues are ‘inferior” it mean they should be shoved to the back of the room or out of a conversation? While I do understand females face a lot of discrimination and oppression, it doesn’t dismiss the fact that males do face discrimination and oppression as well. Therefore, a balanced conversation must be had as to how both genders can voice these issues to bring forth awareness and influence change. Thinking or saying that male issues are “inferior” is contributing to the oppression and discrimination that they face.
I upvoted you because overall, I like your comment. We should care about women, we should also care about men. I’ve read that over the last fifty years, the percentage of college degrees received by gender completely reversed. Females rose from 39 percent to 61 percent. Males dropped from 61 percent to 39 percent. Males are falling behind girls in almost every academic subject – especially in reading and writing. According to Richard Vedder, “Men are vastly outnumbered in America’s universities—in the fall of 2016, there were 2,667,000 more women studying than men. Not only are they significantly outnumbered, men… Read more »
Women are not more emotional. This is false. The only reason why it seems that way is because society has allowed women, and even encouraged them, to express their emotions. And this is generalizing. Not all women are comfortable showing their feelings. This is one of many stereotypes that need to be broken down. Being emotional should not even be gendered, for it is human to feel and to express feelings. Men should be allowed to show feelings as well. There is nothing wrong with that.
A retired professor from Grinnell College, feminist Victoria Bissell Brown, said, “I hate all men and wish all men were dead.” Yet what is telling about our society, is that The Washington Post found her words worthy to be printed in a column. Do you see the double standard when you compare that to actor Hartley Sawyer, who was fired after a host of his tweets surfaced which contained misogynist and racist references. Or the head of the Tokyo 2020 Olympic organizing committee who resigned after his derogatory comments about women triggered an international backlash. But hating men is okay?… Read more »
If the Washington Post put professor Brown’s comment up for some reason they saw as positive, that’s disgusting. I struggle with how a journalist would see it as a helpful perspective to share with readers. Crazier things have happened, though. Still, is it possible that Brown was quoted to show how “crazy” feminists are? I didn’t read the article, but I assume that was the overall effect, intended or not.
International Men’s Day would be a good idea. Men have problems unique to men, and it would help all of society if these could be addressed.
There is an International Men’s Day, it’s November 19th. https://nationaltoday.com/international-mens-day/
There are men addressing men’s issues too.
It’s actually very simple. Yes, hating men is OK. The reason is that we men deserve it. We have spent years and decades bullying each other and women to the point that any reasonable person would say “yeah, that’s about right” when a derogatory thing is said about men. There’s a reason that 90% of the people in prison are men. (actually I think it’s higher but, you get the point) Very few women commit assault, commit robbery, rape, harm, or murder others. Sure, there’s exceptions but those are really, really rare.
“Their bodies are more fragile and disgusting in comparison to men.”
Don’t call anyone disgusting for their body, whether man, woman, or LGBTQ.
It’s hard to believe this “comment” was allowed to be posted, much less condoned with upvotes. Women and men each face unique challenges that come either from gender or role-based influences. Our hopeful growing awareness and consciousness as an evolving species/society, is to recognize and support each other, to recognize our different and similar limitations and strengths, and find a shared, respectful balance. The comments posted here, in my view, weren’t constructive. It continues a broken narrative about what men’s issues are (which shouldn’t be compared to women’s in this context as that isn’t the issue at hand) and for… Read more »
I’m glad someone wrote this. I was about to write it. The thing you’re missing however, is that the primary cause of the discrimination and minimization of women is men. There are so many that are clinging to this patriarchy thing to their last breadth. They persecute anyone who attempts to break the mold, women or men. That’s why most men are bullies — they essentially carpet bomb their discrimination against anyone that is different. I don’t attend male only things because of this — it is always, always, a collection of bullies. Yes, they might be polite initially but… Read more »
There’s no one else doing what we do at GMP. These issues are vital, related, and important to discuss from these multiple perspectives. I feel very fortunate to be a contributor and a reader.
Score one for the good guys.
https://hequal.wordpress.com/2016/11/17/london-zoo-withdraws-sexist-all-men-are-paedophiles-policy-after-campaign/
Post Trump, reflecting on the hypothesis that many feel, the oppression of the cultural elite jamming down politically correct attitudes down others throats. (GMP?) This article an opinion piece evoked those issues for me. My question is how to we hold our subjective opinions and values in a way that does not seek to be the moral high ground and oppress others. Is it OK not to be comfortable with some of the issues around LGBT. Is it OK to be not comfortable with many of the issues around Muslim culture or do we just label them as homophobic or… Read more »
Paddy, quite a thought provoking response. I don’t have all the answer either to your thoughts but I will say, Uncomfortableness and questions about another’s lifestyle or culture would seem natural to me. I think most muslims are happy to answer questions about their culture when people ask in open-hearted, sincere ways. But people rarely and sincerely talk to those they feel uncomfortable with and ask them questions about their own life experiences. We usually all exist in a bubble of people who share our own views and tend to talk among these people to confirm our own biases. The… Read more »
HI Erin, thanks for replying. I resonate with the statements of ‘the repression of the cultural elite on the unwashed or uneducated’ It comes from a different area, where I have experienced it and it has stopped a lot of good work. Jung said that war is a product of how we live peace. We are getting something wrong. People love to run with good causes and feel a rosy glow of owning the moral high ground and become unthinking about others. The ethical stance for me is always to have equality for all as long as it does not… Read more »
We can have questions about those things — like what pronoun to use or what does the IA+ part mean but it’s not OK to be uncomfortable. It has no effect on you so you don’t get to be uncomfortable. Men who are uncomfortable are by definition judging and we need to be out of that game. It’s no one’s job to judge another person’s lifestyle, religion or anything else.
Referring to 8), sports icons are not my heroes. I know this is minor compared to other issues, but it would be nice if I and other guys could say that we have no interest in sports without having our masculinity questioned. The culture of school sports has had a pernicious impact in the lives of nonathletic boys for generations. Until recent years, the issues of bullying by school athletes and rape by school athletes were ignored. These issues are still ignored by many people today. Many sports fans persecute victims of rape. In mandatory P.E. the health and wellness… Read more »
Since they define masculinity in terms of athletic prowess, I am convinced that many (if not most) athletes and coaches (especially in sports such as football) look down on nonathletic guys – boys and men. Many coaches seem to think that athletes are a better group of men than noathletes. This is plain, old-fashioned bigotry. I don’t believe that athletes are a better group of men than nonathletes any more than I believe that nonathletes are a better group of men than athletes. Both statements are ludicrous. Athletes in sports such as football are idolized in our society to a… Read more »
I find it old fashioned bigotry that men in white collar jobs like lawyers, business CEOs, doctors, etc., are idolized in society compare to men in blue collar jobs or that some white collar jobs like being a teacher are looked down and are viewed as second class citizens. I also don’t like it when intellectualism is not value, supported, encouraged, and/or developed like it is Europe.
Agree with you about over favoring lawyer/doctor jobs vs teachers/farmers/truck drivers. But what do you mean by intellectualism not being valued?
In Europe, intellectuals are supported, nurtured, cultivated, and have a higher political, economic, and social status in Europe compare to America where intellectuals like teachers, writers, academics, etc., are looked down upon unless they make a lucrative salary and/or makes a profit for corporations/wealthy people. In addition, American intellectuals like Thom Hartmann, Jim Hightower, Howard Zinn, Molly Irvin, and Bill Moyers bring another economic, political, and social hidden side of Amercian history that is not taught in American schools because corporations and wealthy conservative people don’t want to show them because it makes destroy the standard views of such items… Read more »
Yes and yes! As a mother of a ten year old boy who is little in in every way- and amazing in every way- YES to this comment! My son takes after his dad, who is, I’ll be blunt, pretty skinny and weak by nature. Funny thing is that I intentionally married a skinny guy so that if I had a daughter, she might be skinny and there would be a smaller chance of her hating her body. But I didn’t think about a boy’s experience of being skinny. The poor kid has tons of energy but doesn’t want to… Read more »
Great article! I find I’m always hung up on #1 when watching TV or movies. I’ve often had the conversation with my wife that I’ve only really seen 2 male characters that I can vaguely relate to, or who I see as ‘real men’. • Warrick from CSI – he’s just a normal, regular guy. No messing around. Simple. • Jared (Samantha’s guy) from Sex & the City – There’s a wonderful scene that sums up everything about him compared to all the other characters in the show: The two of them are walking down the road together and she… Read more »
“What do you think? What are we missing?”
No mention of men wishing to transcend themselves outside a career goal.
Damn good list. It’s a shame that such a list no doubt feels radical or revolutionary or threatening to many people, when it just makes obvious sense to me. I would expand #4 a little bit to include larger questions of family rights and reproductive rights. SAHD’s have their own specific and incredibly important needs, while there are also even broader issues at stake: The ways that society treats fatherhood (and parenthood) in general. The way that divorce proceedings affect fathers Paternal reproductive rights, child custody rights, and adoption rights Pronatalism and its pressures on men Birth control, sex education,… Read more »
This is really where the rubber meets the road, as far as a lot of men are concerned.
For one current example, google CHRIS MACKNEY. You don’t find GMP covering this story…or others like it. But they feature blogs about professional wrestling fandom (the very definition of a trivial subject) all the time.
Why is that?
I bet if you wrote up a piece on Chris Mackney the editors would consider it if it were written half-decently. I doubt the GMP editors are suppressing the story, they just haven’t gotten any submissions on it. If there’s something you want to see on the GMP, I recommend you try submitting something.
I just read the Chris Mackney story. Horrendous!!
https://bit.ly/3yTIqFt
People talk about feminism and argue the meaning of feminism. Others point to a dictionary definition. Yet, one of the big things never discussed is the meaning of equality. What does believe in the equality of the sexes mean? One of the problems non-feminists have with the movement is this concept of privilege. The concept of privilege seems to have been introduced to justify treating people unequally. The concept based on my understanding is that if one person is at a societal disadvantage because of an unwritten social norm, society must compensate with codified advantage. To make things more complex,… Read more »
As a woman, I am mostly unable to relate to the difficulties of being a man. I know the difficulties are real, and so are hurts. I just don’t understand on an emotional level. I can imagine what it would be like if something “like that” happened to me, but I would be imagining that thing happening to me as a woman, with a lifetime of experiences as a woman behind me. I haven’t had to deal with a lifetime of related prejudices against being a man. I will never really get it. That aside, I respectfully disagree with your… Read more »
Great article, and I was pleasantly surprised. I still see problems (reflected in the avoidance of being blunt, using certain words, like misandry and in the comments section from people that really do seem to miss the point) Too often I see GMP cited in support of misguided things, and a seeming willingness to support ideas like “don’t be that guy” which can ONLY be defended as “teaching people about consent” in which case gender neutral language would serve the purpose without alienating men. (as a very obvious interpretation is, as detailed by another person here, Schrodinger’s rapist, “all men… Read more »
Great list of issues for men, about men, about what it means to be a man or even masculine ! Think Will Conley in the last comment and Dr Norris’s comment lay the ground. The fact that is blog series is here and functioning. Giving voice to men and women of all genders is a monumental shift in conversations. Men our voices need to be heard, our actions need to be seen, or lives have to be public sources of “enlightenment” so the world can be the change we wish to see. I just recently joined the writing/blogging team here.… Read more »
An excellent rundown. As for what we might be missing: I believe there is tectonic activity between the legacy of second-wave feminism and the ideal of universal human dignity. An earthquake is a-comin’, and I don’t want to be the seismologist who failed to report my findings due to fear of institutional reprisal.
Yep. I have to agree with all of these. Some I have personal experience with and others I do not. We men are human so we have issues and we take issue. What is great here is that with the help of GMP we have a voice and it is getting louder. Globally, when men come together with one banner we can and will become game changers for ourselves and for others. The more we speak to the issues the more will flock to the banner to help this worked be a better place for young and old, rich and… Read more »
its about time that someone stood up for men . I can tell you that its not easy to try and help in anything when most of the women look at you like your only going to screw things up . Where i work im looked down on just because im a man first then also im from the u s . i live in canada. Alot of the women i work with think that men are useless . The part that upsets me the most is that these women dont even know men . I also tryed to get… Read more »
Misandry is the name for what you’re describing, Jeff. GMP is a good website, but they shy away from the M word for some reason…fear of being politically incorrect? Item #1 comes close to the issue without actually engaging it.
More males should strive to be better people. To be real men, worthy of respect. I, myself, am the good woman so many males say they wish to find. Yet, the encounters with males on a personal, professional, romantic basis have been bad. I decided to stop interacting with males unless absolutely necessary so I can continue to love males as fellow beings, to continue to believe there truly are real men who are worthy of honor. Men who will not use women, will honor their marriage vows, will strive to do the right thing, successfully.
I will put in the note that more females should strive to be better people too.
We should all strive to be better people. The world is populated with good people, and we’d like to shine a spotlight on those folks.
“More males should strive to be better people.” Personally, in my opinion- I think that by looking at it as trying to be a ‘better male’ or a ‘better female’ is missing a big part of the point- I don’t want to be a better ‘male’; I want to be a better person- one who happens to be male: There’s a world of difference in there. I’d rather transcend stereotypes than just polish the newest collection of ones other people attribute rightly or wrongly to me. No one person can be ‘males’ or be ‘females’ or any other plural –… Read more »
It’s not just “Unrealistic and Stereotypical Portrayals of Men in the Media and the Culture” there is a societal perception of men that is stereotypical. Schrödinger’s Rapist which suggests that all men are dangerous. Assume the worst until proven otherwise. The belief that to be masculine is to be strong, which causes society to turn a blind eye to men’s suffering and is used to justify with holding assistance from men in need. There is an issue of bodily integrity for men, which may be a subset of male disposability. Infant circumcision is seen as OK as long as the… Read more »
Reproductive law should protect each individual in order for that individual to make decisions about their reproductive capabilites without outside interference. Period. No one should have, by law, the right to dictate what another person does with their reproductive capabilities.
I understand that this is strick logic and doesn’t afford room for emotions, but the law shouldnt’ be involving itself with the emotions of others.
I agree that reproductive justice is tricky. I don’t know where lying about birth control use / infertility, sabotaging condoms, or sperm theft would lie on the criminality chart. I also realize that we should never have a totally equal situation when it comes to reproduction. The totally equal situation being a ban on abortion meaning neither person has a choice. This should never be the case because it abridges a woman’s right to bodily autonomy. I think we can be more fair by not requiring the father to be legally responsible for a child he does not wish to… Read more »
There should be no laws whatsoever regulating, approving, or otherwise granting permission for anything of a personal nature. People should not have to obtain marriage licenses. Nor should they need the approval of any State or Municipal government to marry. If they want to be poly, so be it. If they want polygamous marriages, so be it. Gay marriages, so be it. Just because we have a tax code and benefits tied to marry does mean crap. I say it is way past the time to undo a lot of these silly laws and rules. As President Reagan said, “Government… Read more »
Reagan’s government was a huge problem.
Reproductive Justice? We know what causes pregnancy, and it’s pretty easy for a man to prevent it. Men get to choose at the outset, and if they fail to do that then they have to live with the consequences of their failure. You bring a child into this world and you are responsible for it’s well being. You can’t be the victim if you willingly participated in the activity and didn’t bother to safeguard yourself or got yourself too drunk to care. Having sex without contraception is a bit like climbing a cliff without a rope, You have no one… Read more »
@ Adam Blanch “You bring a child into this world and you are responsible for it’s well being. ” But he didn’t bring it into the world. He fertilized an egg. You can’t call it a zygote for purposes of allowing women to have an abortion and a child for purposes of forcing men to pay child support. Let’s be clear. She brought the child into the world. “Men get to choose at the outset, and if they fail to do that then they have to live with the consequences of their failure. ” First, not all men do, but… Read more »
Newsflash. Women lie too, be careful where you point your thing. Saying that fertilising the egg is not the same as bringing a child into the world is like saying that aiming the gun and pulling the trigger doesn’t make you responsible for the bullet killing the person you were aiming at. I’m all for equality John (and not the feminist faux version of it), but that starts with the equal right to take responsibility for the consequences of your actions (ergo not the feminist faux version).
Hi Adam Your gun analogy doesn’t work because women can control whether or not they start a family when there is no consensual father after conception. Also the true feminist position was that giving men legal paternal surrender was the logical progression from giving women abortion – it was faux feminists that took it off the table. So assuming you support womens right to chose – your position is advocating that women are liberated, and men stay stuck with traditional roles. “”If women have the right to choose if they become parents, men [should] have that right too. There is… Read more »
@ Adam Blanch “Newsflash. Women lie too, be careful where you point your thing. Saying that fertilising the egg is not the same as bringing a child into the world is like saying that aiming the gun and pulling the trigger doesn’t make you responsible for the bullet killing the person you were aiming at. I’m all for equality John” The thing is the man is no more responsible than the woman and possibly less so equality demands that either abortion be banned or that men be held accountable for what they actually did, fertilize an egg. You can’t call… Read more »
Thanks.
Well articulated article sirs! But we must realize, as men in this patriarchal and heirarchal world, that we are not victims of anything or anyone else other than ourselves. If we strive to address the disease and not the symptoms, we’ll fix these issues of identity men are suffering with in modern society. And to be clear, I believe Patriarchy is the disease. Inclusive humanism is the cure. Love your website! 🙂
Forgive me, JG, but that’s absolute crap. There is, and always has been, a collusion in society between men and women to maintain many, many, many inflexible gender roles—with inevitable outcomes. The notion that men are exclusively victims of their own “patriarchy” is almost unbearably myopic, and smacks of non-critical thinking and spoon-feeding of warmed-over feminist dogma with nothing remotely to do with the reality of men’s lives.
And ironically, those upper class women who passed out the feathers were allowed to vote while the working class men they gave them to were not. They also gave the feathers to boys as young as 15 who lied about their age so they could enlist. When you add up wars, work related accidents, heart attacks and suicides men still do most of the dying.
It would be fantastic to get a shout-out to trans men in particular. We are almost without exception subsumed so completely into larger categories that we become invisible, because our identity is not the default. News articles will seamlessly switch between ‘transgender’ and ‘trans woman’, erasing us and our issues completely. The same goes for nonspecific paragraphs on gender and sexuality. Who do you think readers will be picturing: a gay man (or feminine man), or a trans man?
Hi Tobias,
Thanks for your comment. In fact, the day we launched we had an article by a trans man, one of our Senior Editors was trans, and we’ve had numerous contributors who have written specifically about the untold lives of trans men. We will certainly continue to have more in the future.
JJ and I have been emailing with Tobias, and we’re working on fun projects together because of htis comment! Tobias is awesome 😉
Thank you for the response, Lisa. I’ve been reading the GMP for quite a while, and I appreciate the coverage of – and work by – trans men that’s hosted here. I hope my comment didn’t alarm you – I was only pointing out one small thing in a single paragraph that I would have written differently.
Also, it’s true the Joanna and I have been talking. What about…I guess you’ll see that later. 😉