A narrow and restricted definition of ‘what it means to be a man’ is presented and reinforced to men and boys, by society. This has a direct and harmful impact on men’s mental health and wellbeing and risk of suicide.
—
I’d like to use this opportunity to talk about a key issue that is a key focus for the Movember Foundation that can have a profound effect on the mental health of men, and one that there hasn’t been much conversation around to date. That is the issue of masculinity.
We know that men tend to compare themselves against a masculine ideal which values power, strength, control and invincibility. This is something that is played out across multiple touch points in a man’s life, from being told from an early age in the playground to ‘be a man and don’t cry’ through to the stoic, tough heroes that are portrayed through Hollywood films. From a young age society teaches our boys they need to act tough, show strength and effectively be invincible.
|
The issue of masculinity is not a gender specific issue; it’s one that has huge implications for both men and women.
|
Ironically, the popular notion of what it is to be a man today is unhealthy, and in some cases, can have a devastating effect on the mental health and well being of a man. As a society, we’ve attached ourselves to an impossibly outdated image of what a “real man” should look like. It’s one that was born out of a time when men were the sole breadwinners, spent more time outside of the home than in, were the only ones to serve in the armed forces and hold political positions of power.
◊♦◊
The world has changed and so must our definition of what it is to be a man. The issue of masculinity is not a gender specific issue; it’s one that has huge implications for both men and women. It’s an issue that in order to address in a meaningful way needs everyone to play a role – this is not a problem for men, this is problem for us all and as such need to be addressed at an individual and societal level.
So why is this an important issue? It’s important because when men believe they are not meeting the standard set for them by society, they can feel a sense of shame and defeat. We know that men are often more reluctant than women to talk about emotions and discuss the impact of significant life events, such as relationship breakdowns, loss of job and becoming a father. And one of the reasons for this is because the masculine ideal requires that men should never be depressed, anxious or unable to cope and, if they are, they shouldn’t admit it. So the very experience of being distressed or having a mental health problem can be psychologically difficult for men because they are not supposed to be vulnerable in this way.
◊♦◊
Psychological research suggests that adherence to these traditional masculine ideals is an important predictor of suicide attempts with the reluctance to discuss the impact of significant life events, being a particular predictor. Research shows that suicide can become a valid, possibly rational, option for men when circumstances determine that coping alone and keeping control of a situation seems no longer possible; that is, it becomes the ultimate way of exerting control thereby demonstrating to oneself, and others, a ‘male self’.
|
And it’s not just up to men – women have a key role to play here too.
|
With one man dying by suicide every minute around the world, it’s easy to make the argument as to why it’s so important that we start having the conversation around masculinity. The hard part is engaging society in these conversations in a meaningful way and getting individuals to look inward at the views they hold. Like many things in life, in may not be until you’re challenged that you realise that you are in some way, albeit inadvertently, contributing to the issue. Potentially holding on to an out dated view of masculinity that is shaping your actions and views.
There’s much more to being a man than the masculine ideal of a strong, tough type and far better ways of coping with the obstacles life throws at us. And it’s not just up to men – women have a key role to play here too. We need to get the message out there so that blokes aren’t punished for not living up to the traditional masculine ideal. This means encouraging emotional intelligence in future generations and leading by example by not bottling up our emotions and instead recognising the importance of having strong support networks when those moments in life challenge and test us.
◊♦◊
|
And, I’d like to use this opportunity to encourage everyone to begin to think about their views on masculinity.
|
It’s not going to be easy and it’s going to take time. It’ll require us all to challenge and change the way we teach boys about masculinity and may also involve changing how we each contribute to what we think it means to ‘be a man’.
But the benefits that will come from this shift in attitude will be life-changing and lead to men who are emotionally aware and take action when it comes to their physical and mental health.
That’s a moment in time we can all look forward to. And, I’d like to use this opportunity to encourage everyone to begin to think about their views on masculinity. Let’s begin the conversation.
—
This article was originally published on Huffington Post. Read the original article.
Would you like to help us shatter stereotypes about men?
Receive stories from The Good Men Project, delivered to your inbox daily or weekly.
Photo: Getty Images
Keep on keeping on. This is the simple message that needs to be simplistically endlessly repeated. We are not getting this as a culture. Free men and we’ll free women where this all started. When we do this races will follow. I am not wrong here? It’s a process. At basics is gender. Black,white women and men. Then the races and then the culture in hierarchy of human address.