What Should a Man Take Pride in Today?

My biggest weakness, as far as I can tell, is my pride. It is a struggle I fight every day. If we met, I doubt you would think me arrogant. But, as hard as it is to write this, I want to be more than I really am. And one way to become a better version of me, is to picture me already that person. Let me explain.

If you asked me how much money I make, my first reaction is to round up, not down. Not because I want you to think I make more, but because I plan to make more. It is easy for me talk about the one marathon I finished, but hard to talk about my lifetime weight struggles. And, even though it is very clear that I am not an ultra-marathoner, in my mind I’d like to be. And let’s not even begin the discussion about my fishing accolades.

Telling the truth is considered a weakness in some of those circles. It is such a natural thing to imagine me better that at times, I have to force myself to downplay everything, for fear of being dishonest. I also have to force myself to apologize to my wife when I am wrong, especially when she is wronger than me. I have to fight change after I make a mistake, like using the word wronger in a sentence. I am filled with pride, I think.

There is such a fine line between pride, confidence, and arrogance that it is easy for me to cross into all three. It is hard for me to tell which one I am portraying at any given moment. Sometimes I can see by the look on a person’s face which one I am. But, more often than not, I can’t.

“I am good.” Is this an arrogant statement? Is it the manifestation of confidence? Is it everything that is wrong with men today, everything that is right, or something that is missing? How do we define and live out a definition of healthy pride? It used to be by providing, protecting, and prospering, but now, I’m not so sure.

The role of manhood is being edited today from many different directions, some good and some bad, but our function as men in society is changing. It is evident that the, “go kill something and drag it back to the cave” role is going away. In a short time everything has changed, from how much each gender earns to who does what chores at home.

And for some this change is good. It is a source of pride. There are proud stay-at-home-dads, happy, high-earning moms, and children who love them both. But for some, the change is killing their pride. These men lived in a world where being a man meant providing, protecting, and prospering. It was a time when the belief was that only men did these things. They were taught, perhaps their whole lives, that this was their place in life. They were trained that pride came from how well you did these things, and now, it’s all up for grabs.

And many of us were raised by them.

And so what is a man to do? We were trained to be a “man,” but now anyone can be what we were taught was a “man.” Do we supplement our pride of providing with arrogance about how much we earn? Is it okay to be confident in our ability to fix a car, or is that sexist? Is our source of pride growing or going? Do we trade in our pride of protecting to a pride of Sudoku or washing dishes?

That depends.

It depends on if we are proud of what we do, or proud that we do it better than someone else. Having a healthy sense of pride doesn’t mean staying in the darkness, humble and quiet, only complementing others and never engaging in conflict. Because it takes boldness to do big things. It takes strength to speak up for what is right. Pride causes us to stand up for what we believe, cheer on the underdog, and reach for more than anyone believes is possible. Healthy pride allows us to smile at our abilities, and the abilities of others, despite the level of either.

So pride is an ever changing, always shifting trait. It is like health, wealth or the weather. Some days it’s out of control and some days it’s absolutely necessary. The landscape in which we live is one of constantly changing perspectives, cultural norms, and opinion. And we have to become the best version of ourselves, despite the movement around us for better or worse. Pride can be a tool we use to measure that development, or a function of it’s the absence. Our job as men is not to decide if pride is good or bad, but to decide when pride is good or bad.

So today, is pride my weakness or strength? Is it in check, or run amuck? That depends on the situation. Pride can be a problem when I don’t recognize it, and a problem when it’s stifled. I think it’s important for me to recognize it when it goes too far. That is why I wrote this amazing, incredible article that will change at least one million lives, and help me get sponsored as runner, raising my annual income.

Was that too much?

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