What Kind of a Neighbor Are You?

The elegantly dressed old gentleman, seated outside some shops in Italy, sang and played the accordion beautifully.

I watched him across the street as tourists walked past, occasionally tossing change in his Coca-Cola cardboard box. The tourists, whose Italian was probably limited, didn’t speak to the old fellow.

Interestingly, the shop owners periodically came outside and chatted with the gentleman.

They’d bring him a cold drink, a piece of food, and sometimes even some money. They’d converse and laugh in a friendly, neighborly way.

I was on vacation, shooting candid street photographs one morning while my wife shopped in the plaza.

I crossed the street, held up my camera, pointed to the gentleman, and said, “Fotografia?” He nodded affirmatively and began playing another song while I took a few photos.

Afterward, I tossed some change in his tip box and said, “Grazie,” which prompted him to smile and say a bunch of stuff in Italian that I did not understand. But I knew what he was expressing.

It was thanks and appreciation.

Later, a short distance away, I stood outside an interesting-looking frame shop. There were a bunch of religious figurines in the window, and I decided to step inside the shop and look around.

 

There were no customers in the shop, and as I perused the souvenirs and other items for sale, I spotted the proprietor behind the counter.

“Buongiorno,” I said.

The owner, a middle-aged gentleman with kind eyes, said, “Ah, you are American?”

“Yes, I guess my poor Italian pronunciation gives me away,” I said. But he appreciated my effort, and we struck up a pleasant conversation. I asked about his shop, and he told me that he nearly lost his business during the COVID-19 pandemic.

I bought a few items, and the shop owner said to come back anytime. The entire exchange was pleasant. Friendly.

One could almost say neighborly.

My neighbor one block down doesn’t know who I am

I’ve been thinking lately about neighborliness.

Yesterday, our neighbor Jerry rang the doorbell. My wife opened the door and he handed her a paper bag full of apricots, freshly picked from his apricot tree.

He and his wife were going on vacation soon, and he figured the birds would get to his apricots before he returned. We thanked Jerry, and that night my wife used the apricots to bake delicious puffed pastry tarts. She packaged up a bunch and we took it over to Jerry’s, as a thank-you. We told him to have a great trip, and he was thrilled to receive the pastries.

This kind of neighborliness brought back memories of my father.

Dad made a point of knowing everyone in our neighborhood when I was growing up. After retirement, Dad (who was an administrative law judge) became president of our neighborhood homeowner’s association.

Be the harmony in the melody echoing in the heart of humanity. —Abhijit Naskar, Fabric of Humanity

He used his knowledge of water rights to negotiate a deal with San Jose Water to connect their water mains to the neighborhood. Before the deal, the entire neighborhood relied on an old water pump and well.

The deal with San Jose Water wasn’t cheap, and some neighbors balked at having to pay for the water main hookups. But, because Dad was always so friendly, sensible, and neighborly, everyone eventually agreed.

After Dad passed away, the homeowner’s association said they wanted to honor all my father’s efforts with a plaque to be placed on a concrete wall outside the old water well and pump. I wrote a few words, commissioned a plaque, and presented it to the association.

It was unanimously approved.

Sadly, this kind of neighborliness is fading somewhat. Maybe because society has become more divided with partisan politics. Or perhaps the digital age has us all transfixed, huddled in our homes, staring at screens.

When I lived in a small town, the whole town got together to help my family when tragedy struck our home. Now in a big city, my neighbor one block down doesn’t know who I am. —James Hauenstein

When I think of neighborliness, I think of the Golden Rule. People treating others as they’d like to be treated.

I think of the parable of the Good Samaritan. How a Jewish priest and then a Levite passed by a traveler beaten and lying on the side of the road. But a Samaritan came along and helped the beaten man.

The parable, told by Jesus, was in response to a lawyer who provoked Jesus by asking, “And who is my neighbor?” The answer is that the neighbor is the one who shows mercy.

The late author and atheist Christopher Hitchens liked to point out that the Good Samaritan in the parable lived before Jesus, so he wasn’t a Christian and merely acted out of ordinary decency and morality.

But, whether persons of faith or not, most agree that goodwill and neighborliness make the world a better place.

We strengthen our communities

I try to get to know my neighbors and often chat with them when walking my dog.

I also try to extend this neighborly attitude when I travel and indulge in my street photography hobby. Taking candid shots of strangers in public can be tricky. Thus, it’s important to smile, exude friendliness, and try to act neighborly.

When one neighbor helps another, we strengthen our communities. —Jennifer Pahlka

Last year, I visited Santa Cruz, California, and strolled Pacific Avenue with my rangefinder camera.

I happened upon a colorful fellow standing beside his hand-painted van. He saw me holding my camera, admiring his van, and said, “Feel free to take a photo.”

I did so and then invited him to pose with his van.

He was a street artist and told me his name was “Blue.” I told him I was impressed with the quality of some of the paintings on his van. He excitedly showed me more of his artwork and even clothing items that he designs and sells.

 

People love to share their passion with you. All you have to do is show a little interest and appreciation.

A little neighborliness.

Those who might seem strange to us

Journalist and humorist Arthur Baer has quipped, “A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn’t climb over it.”

While it’s true that we all need our privacy and places of refuge, I sense that we need more neighborliness these days. Less focus on ourselves all the time and a little more focus on others.

The more we can be in a relationship with those who might seem strange to us, the more we can feel like we’re neighbors and all members of the human family. —Fred Rogers

Consider the lives of Józef and Wiktoria Ulma, farmers who lived in the town of Markowa, Poland during the Nazi occupation in WWII. They were awaiting the birth of their seventh child, and as Polish Catholics, they were looking forward to Easter.

They were also hiding and sheltering eight Jews on their property because that’s what good neighbors do.

Sadly, someone in their community found out and told the Nazis. In the early morning hours of March 24th, the German Police came and murdered the entire family and the Jews who were hiding in the family’s attic.

Pope Francis, in December 2022, approved the decree on the martyrdom of the Ulma family and authorized the Dicastery for the Causes of Saints to publish it.

The family was beatified in 2023.

Fortunately, most of us today don’t have to risk our lives to be a good neighbor. We just have to make more of a conscious effort. At home and away.

What kind of a neighbor are you?

Have you introduced yourself to the people who live around you? Do you welcome new neighbors with baked goods or a simple hello? Do you treat people on your travels like the good Samaritan?

Be a good neighbor, and together, perhaps we can beautify this broken world we’re living in.

Before you go

 

John Patrick Weiss writes stories and essays about life, often illustrated with his black and white photography. Visit  JohnPatrickWeiss.com.

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This post was previously published on Medium.com.