TASK #33: THE TWO MONKS
I haven’t written in a couple of weeks because I’ve been lost in blackhole of pain and sorrow because my Buckeyes got their asses whipped by Oklahoma. I know it’s not the most important thing in a world where the president tweets stupider things than a sixteen year old girl, and there are angry storms screaming at our coastlines, and when the HELL is “Stranger Things” coming back, anyway???? But it still hurts.
And to make matters worse–and maybe I’m noticing it because I am as scratchy and generally pissed as I’ve ever been–I’ve really started to notice how much shit I take every day just as a matter of course. I mean, nit-picky stuff that people HOLD ON TO and remind you about again and again. Like this: I go into work and I forgot that you’re not supposed to clock more than 5 minutes before your start time, i.e., if your shift starts at 9am, then you can’t clock in at 8:54–you have to wait until 8:55 or later. But I forgot and I clocked in at 8:53. One of my co-workers notices and calls me on it–in front of the boss. I shrug, apologize, and move on. But around noon the same co-worker refers to it again. And he watches me clock in the next morning. And then, a couple of days later, he jokes about it in front of another co-worker. Put it away, dude!
I’ve really started to notice how much shit I take every day just as a matter of course. I mean, nit-picky stuff that people HOLD ON TO and remind you about again and again.
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And that’s not an isolated incident. Once I forgot to pack a lunch for one of the kids and my wife must bring it up once a week–for the last 3 years! Or this: I owed a guy some money because he fronted me for lunch–at Red Robin for christsakes–and I forgot to pay him as promised the next day. I payed him the day after but he brings up my mistake every time we go out to lunch.
And the list goes on and on…Now, I have many faults but I don’t carry around every slight, or keep track of everyone else’s missteps–I let them go. You gotta let go.
Reminds me of an old story. Two monks are walking in the country, talking. They are celibate, religious intellectuals, men who have spent their entire lives in an insular world–they aren’t interested in politics, sports–they don’t give a shit about the Kardashians or those ridiculous people on The Bachelor(ette), or those lame women on the Housewives of wherever…they only care about their purity and the earnest discussion of their faith.
They come to a stream. It is roiling, but not deep. It’s scary, but they can walk across. On the edge of the stream sits a beautiful woman. She’s crying. One of the monks looks at her and asks, what’s the matter? She says, I can’t make it across the stream. So the monk picks up the woman, cradles her in his arms, carries her across the stream and sets her down on the other side. Then he and the other monk walk away. Only the other monk can’t get over what he saw…”why did you talk to that woman”? “Why did you carry her across the stream”? “You’re not supposed to talk to her!”
You’re not supposed to touch her!” The first monk ignores him, and they continue on…
Spend this week thinking about the nit-picky shit you lay on other people. It might make you feel better about yourself, but really it makes you small.
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Hours later, after they’d reached their monastery, and had prayers and a meal, the two monks sat in the garden to watch darkness fall. The one monk said to the other, “why DID you talk to that woman? And why did you touch her?” The first monk takes a moment, then says, “I set the woman down on the other side of the stream, but you are still carrying her around…”
TASK: Spend this week thinking about the nit-picky shit you lay on other people. It might make you feel better about yourself, but really it makes you small. Write down all the silly stuff you say to other people, then turn the page.
Photos: J Stimp and Joe Doe