This Is Why You Continue To Get Unwanted Heartbreaks From Men

Have you ever wondered why men continue treating you the way they do? They say love is a beautiful thing. But, when it feels like it’s always slipping through your fingers, then love a devastating thing.

It’s unrealistic to assume that every man that’ll approach you is the one. It’s also very possible that you can chase ‘the one’ away by how you behave.

Why exactly do you keep on getting unwanted heartbreaks? Here are things: you have heard about, you already know about, but you don’t realize you are subconsciously doing them.

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#1. At the end of the day, guys will always find their way back to the woman they truly love.

I have seen many ladies make very costly decisions simply because they believe they can get a guy to love them.

For example, one particular lady met a guy and liked him instantly. However, the guy clearly communicated to her that he was just from a terrible relationship. He was not ready for a new one, neither at that moment nor soon. The lady agreed to the friendship tag that the guy offered, hoping that maybe along the way, the guy would change his mind.

A few months down the line, the lady decided to take further steps by performing wifely duties for the man. She would go over to his place, cook, clean the house, do his laundry, have sex with him, etc. Of course, the man didn’t try to stop her.

For starters, he had not asked her to do anything. She was utterly doing everything out of her own free will. And, he had specified to her that all he wanted was fun. So, he did not expect that the lady was getting ideas that she would expect more. This went on for six months.

Until one day, the lady had to ask the guy about their relationship status. She expected him to tell her that they are in a romantic relationship. Still, unfortunately, the guy stood by his first words.

He informed the lady that she was just his friend, and he was even going to invite her to his wedding that was just around the corner. He had made it clear initially, and none of the girl’s efforts to try and change his mind worked.

Ladies, stop thinking you can change men. You can’t make someone love you. It is a recipe for a massive heartbreak. The fact is, a guy, who loves you, is willing to change certain habits without you asking for it.

You can’t change people, and most importantly, the man you desire. People change on their own. It’s a personal decision that one takes, which is not in any way easy. And no matter how hard you try, a man will always go back to the woman he truly cares for.

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#2. Men love the chase

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Men started out as the hunters, and our culture still rewards them for that role. They love the chase. Who would not? Imagine going to hunt for an animal, and it presents itself to you without any fight. There is no fun in that. You will not realize the value of the animal because it did not require any of your effort to get it.

I’m not saying women are animals; it’s the hunting strategy that I wanted to illustrate. The fact is, people tend to value more the things they acquired through effort than things that they acquired easily.

Think about it. Try comparing that thing you worked for and that thing that was just offered to you. Which of the two satisfy you the most?

The same applies to relationships. Throw yourself at a man, and he will surely enjoy having you in his arms. But if you understand that the chase is fun, you can be part of allowing him that fun.

All in all, most men tend to enjoy a woman who allowed them to do the chase and allowed him to experience all the emotions involved in the process.

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#3. A man will do anything for the one he truly loves

When a man loves a woman, he will do anything to make her happy. And, most importantly, he will do anything to keep her by his side.

If you are in a relationship and your man is not making any effort to play by your rules, then one thing is clear. You are not the one woman he is willing to catch a bullet for, and the sooner you realize this, the better for you.

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I was once one of the people who believed I could change a man. I would ignore all the red flags that I was in the wrong place. I allowed men to treat me like trash and toy around with my feelings.

However, the end was always the same. I always found myself heartbroken and shattered. The moment I stopped being desperate for love, everything changed. I started valuing myself more.

And after knowing exactly what I wanted from a man, I couldn’t settle for any less. In the long run, genuine love found me.

It is not hard to see signs that a man loves you. In most cases, the signs are more visible than you think. Trust your instincts, ladies. Don’t forget to value yourself!

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This post was previously published on Medium.com.

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