Be Prepared for Any Outcome

We have all been through our share of tough situations, tough conversations, and life changing decisions. I never minimize people’s lives to having been more or less tougher than mine. We all have our own challenges in life, if not we wouldn’t grow and learn as individuals. Hardship and tough situations build character and resilience. In fact you become a better person by going through the hard times, because it makes the better times seem even more deserved.

The most interesting people you will meet in life usually come from a life of hardship and challenge. It builds their character and creates a more unique and interesting outlook on life and all of its situations.

Growing up and through most of my 20’s I have been encouraged to seek counseling to help me deal with my issues. It seemed every time I would go to a counselor I could never concentrate, I would get distracted. I would listen so intently that my eyes would focus like a microscope, and their face would come in to focus. I could see every pore, every hair, every tiny little detail in the face of this other person that my ears would no longer hear the words coming out of there mouth. I still to this day have no idea where this superpower came from. I wish I had that ability when I was playing baseball, I could have been a better hitter.

My mother is a counselor, she was going to school my entire life. She would constantly bring home the newest lesson she had learned or study she was reading about and use this information against me or to explain to me why I was behaving the way I was. It was never because I was a kid or teenager, there was always a reason. A study, something. My favorite always being:

“Anger is a secondary emotion, try to tell me what your really feeling so we can figure out where this anger is coming from.”

That used to make me even more angry, as I would yell back at her saying this anger is real. Being a teenager again, oh how I wish I would have paid more attention to what she actually meant. Over the years I have learned what she was saying but it took me 20 years and plenty more life lessons.

. . .

I no longer employed therapists to help me through things after my early 20’s. It felt as if they were just repeating the same lessons and teachings that my mother had used on me while I was growing up. It felt like it was never going to work until I could understand more, understand a little clearer the actual message that was being taught.

With a new outlook and new challenge to the same issues I reached out to try and find someone who I could talk to again. Another therapist yes, but with the advancements in technologies I had learned about Better Help, an online therapist type. They ask you a series of questions and try to best fit your needs with a therapist that may or may not be close to home but that specializes in the help that you are looking for.

The initial session seems to go by relatively slow as you get to know each other through a series of messages and worksheets. This helps them discover a little bit more about you and to figure out the reason you are there. Once the pleasantries are out of the way you have back and forth communication with your counselor. It could be daily, it could be weekly. You have the opportunity to schedule video calls, like zoom, if you want but are not necessarily required to. I am sure that each counselor does it just a little bit different.

I never participated in the zoom calls, I did however fill out worksheet after worksheet that would explain how and why I was feeling like I was at the time. They were helpful and insightful to many things besides the situation at hand. They were teaching me and invoking thoughts that I hadn’t had in a while. The questions were leading so they built upon each other. After I would fill them out and send them back, the counselor would go over them and give me a lot more detail and insightful reasoning about how this happened and helpful tips and tricks as to how I could combat these feelings going forward.

After months of exploring different techniques, different scenarios to handling my feelings I was in need of some help. I was going into a situation where a decision had to be made and my anxiety was crushing me. I couldn’t think, couldn’t sleep, and was just being eaten from the inside out about what the outcome was going to be.

. . .

-Lao Tzu also attributed Junia Bretas