I now present, for your WTFing pleasure, the works of one Ms. Laura Ingraham on the subject of whether men ought to have purses.
In their mission to erase all vestiges of masculinity once and for all, the fashion mavens have done away with the backpack, the briefcase, and the gym bag. The only accessory acceptable to the chic man about town is the murse. This purse-like man-pouch is all the rage in most metropolitan areas. At first, they weren’t as objectionable because they were modeled on satchels you’d expect to see on a World War I infantryman. But over the last few years, they have gotten more and more . . . well, feminine. The leather, canvas, and Naugahyde man-bags are now indistinguishable from their female counterparts.
Why does a man even need a purse? A man should carry around exactly two items: a wallet and a phone. If you routinely tote anything more than that, you just might be a woman. With coin purses, brushes, makeup, tissues, and other female products, we ladies need the extra space. A man can survive with a lot less.
What a man chooses to carry his stuff in tells us a lot about who he is. Men should by nature be solid, tough, and strong (think leather briefcase) — not soft, delicate, and transparent (think macramé tote). Carrying a shimmery Dolce & Gabbana clutch is not going to endear you to a woman — we won’t think you are cool or hip. But if you play your cards right, we might just loan you a set of matching pumps.
Men shouldn’t wear purses because it’s ridiculous because they’re men and men don’t wear purses because if that happened MAYHEM! and APOCALYPSE! and CATS AND DOGS LIVING TOGETHER!
It’s a classic example of the Fallacy of Buh?
Not to mention that men don’t have coin purses because they… don’t go to Laundromats? Don’t get change when they buy stuff? What? And men can’t have tissues because clearly the manly nasal cavities would never do something so feminine as sneezing.
The inability of men to wear purses is bullshit. Sometimes people– men and women– need to carry things between the “pocket” and the “backpack” size. Men are left either lugging around a large briefcase or backpack, or carrying it in their hands, or sticking it in the purse of a female friend, or leaving useful stuff like tissues at home. It’s stupid and impractical, and no one should give in to it to just to enforce a silly gender binary.
Memo to Laura Ingraham: Anything done by a man is a manly thing to do, on account of a man is doing it.
Also, boys in pumps are fucking hot.
This was a funny post, and most of the comments were hilarious.
Yeah, men “tend” to like things that are practical, which is why if it make sense I’ll hold a purse or man strap bag or whatever all day long. It just won’t be PINK with little unicorns or flowers on it 🙂
I don’t have a purse, but I do have a laptop bag. Is that what she’s talking about? It’s not a fake infantry satchel though, it’s a real one because you can get them for about $10 and they last forever.
Though I don’t usually clap for people being banned after one post, or for criticizing people I agree with…
*claps*
Why are you linking to that shitty pervocracy blog?
Because The Pervocracy is run by an intelligent, kind, witty woman who is far more of a masculist than you could dream of being– and also a contributor.
Also, you’ve been banned for being a twit.
So washing your phone is manly? Bags are practical, whether they’re purse-shaped or not.
Also, add my voice to the cacophony demanding more men in skirts… they are just as capable of having nice calves, and why shouldn’t they enjoy leg ventilation with the other half of the population?
@Idiom “Though why people don’t just carry their phone, wallet, keys, etc in the pocket of their jacket, jeans, clothing.”
Because I have lost SOOO much crap that way
You’re darn right about being prepared, Danny. I will say, however, that there’s one advantage men have over women in terms of sartorial carrying capacity; pockets. Men’s pants and shirts have, on average, WAY more pocket space than women’s. I remember one incident when I borrowed a pair of a girlfriend’s jeans (she’s about my waist width, and only a couple inches shorter than me, and literally all my pants were in the laundry) and I attempted to put my hands into my pockets as I am wont to do. My fingers went in up to the second knuckle and… Read more »
Spoken like a person that has no idea about being a man. That bull she’s spitting about a man only needing a wallet and phone is overwritten by the fact that a man is supposed to be prepared. I myself roll with a messenger bag in which I have: Spare Change 2gb thumb drive 3 sharpies (red, black, blue) 2 pens hand sanitizer small pouch of napkins lotion notepad And that’s just what I keep in it all the time. Depending on the task at hand I may deploy with other tools and items (such as my digicamera, screwdriver set,… Read more »
I find backpacks or laptop bags to be most convenient for carrying things in. Though why people don’t just carry their phone, wallet, keys, etc in the pocket of their jacket, jeans, clothing.
No no — Real Men don’t read or shop.
You mean I could get given pumps by wearing a purse?
Thanks for the tip Laura!
And what about CONDOMS? They degrade when submitted to the high heat/stress of a man’s wallet. I suppose we’re supposed to remember to put them in our pockets EVERY time we go out? I’d rather keep them in a one-place for everything bag.
That said, women’s clothes need more pockets – my wife complains about this constantly.
In a standard ye olde three piece suit a man had at his disposal at least 7 or 8 pockets. In a standard ye olde dress (with or without a snazzy jacket) a woman had at her disposal… none. Therefore it made good sense for women to have a purse of some kind on her to store essentials that men could put in their pockets. Fast forward to the present, and how many usable pockets are on standard men’s office clothing*? 4? If you don’t care about ruining the line of your pants. And the objects being carried around are… Read more »
Seriously, Indiana Jones always carried a murse ( it was a gas mask bag). And I can hardly think of any more manly man than Indy. I always wanted such a bag since I saw the movies the first time. Finally found one years later. It’s perfect, ideal size, robust, the only disadvantage it’s made of cotton which sucks (pun intended) when it rains.
Fuck purses. Really, I don’t wanna be using my hand to hold some teeny crappy bag which I might as well just hold the thing I’m carrying in it.
I have a big sports bag full of manly, sporty things, and not an inconsiderable amount of mud. I can’t find anything in that monstrosity without a two minute search in which I will unearth about half a dozen random objects first. Don’t bother calling, I’m never going to get to my cell in time.
I’m a young woman. And that bag is just as feminine as me. Which is plenty.
Further proof that I’m ‘manly’. Mum bought me a satchel-type bag from the “The First Emperor” exhibit in Sydney when she was there.
It was perfectly sized for wallet, keys, phone and almost everything else I carry with me… currently consisting typically of nasal spray (I have nasty sinuses), MP3 player, and book and/or netbook. I can also fit my camera – a Nikon D7000 and the 70-300mm lens I use 99.99% of the time, though it is a bit of a squeeze.
I dislike purses. They’re a pain in the backside to carry.
To those who insist on terms like man-pouch / murse or silly things like that: No. I carry a purse. There’s no shame in that. I don’t have to make up silly defenses for carrying it. It’s a convenient bag that I carry stuff in. The one I carry _is_ marketed towards women but there’s nothing about that makes it particularly “feminine”. It’s just a black nylon bag with pockets of a convenient size.
As an aside I’m also told that I look hot in a skirt.
My boyfriend carries a purse and wears skirts, and does both in a completely, unquestionably masculine way.
Also, he’s got some sexy, muscular guy legs. Mm-mm.
I’ve carried a messenger style bag since 1990. Guess where I bought my first one? The PX on Camp Lejeune, NC while I was an ACTIVE DUTY MARINE. It was black, with yellow stitching (Eagle, Globe and Anchor) and a ton of pockets.
Umm, Laura, “go tell it to the Marines”, as the old saying goes…
“Exactly two items: a wallet and a phone.”
And then there are Keys, a book, from time to time groceries, mp3-player, something to drink, and never forget the Hula Hoop.
“A man should carry around exactly two items: a wallet and a phone.”
A PHONE? A real man doesn’t need a phone. He can solve any problem by himself! With his muscles.
😛
“A man should carry around exactly two items: a wallet and a phone.” What about a bottle of water, to replenish all that manly sweat he exudes from running around doing manly sporty manly tough manly things? Also, I have a purse anecdote: my boyfriend, a dudefriend and I once went to a sex store whose policy is to confiscate your bags while you shop (so it’s harder to shoplift, I guess). My “purse” (which is actually a child’s backpack) was taken from me and placed behind the counter in accordance with this policy. Boyfriend and dudefriend were allowed to… Read more »
But…keys! And iPod! And a pen! And a book to read! And a place to store anything I purchase so I don’t waste plastic bags!
“A man should carry around exactly two items: a wallet and a phone.”
I dunno, what about keys? I do like to be able to lock my flat when I go out. And get back in without having to break a window.
“But over the last few years, they have gotten more and more . . . well, feminine.” Except no, Laura Ingram, they haven’t. Which, as a fashion writer, she should know. Threadbared did a post on men’s and women’s bags a couple years ago (I can’t find it now, but I highly recommend the blog) and they brought up an excellent point I’ll try to summarize. Men’s bags have always looked like satchels, yes- they have a sturdy strap for your shoulder, or across a chest or back. They’re designed so that they carry the weight on the body, rather… Read more »