Accountability is the glue that ties commitment to the result.
- Bob Proctor
Have you ever worked with a life coach?
I have been working with one for the past eighteen months. It’s been a real game-changer.
I talk to my coach (Rob Flichel) once a month for one hour…a very small time (and financial) commitment that has paid off in spades. Of all the benefits, however, I would say the biggest one is that it helps me be accountable to someone for achieving my goals and learning the lessons I know I need to learn.
During our monthly session, Rob takes notes on what I say I am going to do by our next coaching session. Then, during our next session, he asks me if I did what I said I was going to do. If I did, he asked me how it went…what worked, what didn’t, what I learned, what tools I used or didn’t use, etc.
If I didn’t get done what I said I was going to, I tell him why. Then together we brainstorm whether my reasons were valid or whether they were excuses. And here’s the interesting thing:
Having someone to be accountable to has significantly reduced my use of excuses.
Most of the time now, if I don’t get done what I was hoping to, it isn’t for lack of trying. Rather, I probably just need to make a few tweaks in my game plan. Or, put another way:
When it is obvious the goals cannot be reached, do not adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.
— Confucius
Another reason I enjoy working with Rob is because there is no judgement. There is only a discussion on what still needs to be learned (often over and over again), as well as what can be done better next time. And because Rob is so patient with me, I have learned to be far more patient with myself.
As a life coach, Rob has an awful lot of tools in his toolbox. Once he has a clear idea of what I’m struggling with, he’s able to dig into that toolbox and offer me a suggestion or two that I can try. Then I use the tools that work for me and toss the rest.
5 things I have learned from working with a life coach:
#1. Accountability. When you tell a person you are going accomplish a specific task by a specific date, and you have to report back to that person, there is a significantly better chance you will actually accomplish that task. You may not complete the task by the specified date…but chances are good that you will at least have taken more steps towards doing so, than if you didn’t have someone to report back to on your progress.
#2. Deal with your underlying beliefs. Quite often when we are not able to meet our goals, or at least make a reasonable effort to do so, there may be some underlying—and unexamined—beliefs, lurking deep in our subconscious mind, that are sabotaging our efforts.
As a personal example, my dating habit of pursuing men who are clearly not romantically interested me is likely connected to a deeply rooted fear of being rejected. The more a guy rejects me, the harder I try to get him to change his mind. This pattern of behaviour is ridiculous, self-defeating, and not at all conducive to me developing a happy, healthy romantic relationship…but it is very important to become aware of. We can’t change what we don’t understand.
#3. Know thyself. In terms of being a successful person (whatever that means to you), it is imperative that you figure out what makes you tick and why…and when you tick best. Are you attempting to tackle your most important tasks at your least productive time of day?
#4. Keep the faith. If we continue to show up, each and every day, and take whatever steps are available to us (some days they will be big steps and some days small), then the Universe will always step up to the plate and do its part in delivering to us our heart’s desire. The timing, however, is rarely on our timeline.
When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.
- Paulo Coelho, “The Alchemist”
#5. Celebrate your successes. Rob has been great for reminding me to celebrate my successes and achievements. When I first started working with him, he would literally say to me, “Maryanne, stop right there. I want you take a moment and pat yourself on the back. Look at what you have achieved! Celebrate that. Honour that. Feel what that feels like.”
So we would both stop talking and I would sit there on the phone, in silence, and actually take a moment to feel that success…celebrate my achievement, regardless of the size. What a concept!
Ultimately, Rob’s goal as a life coach is to get me to self-coach myself. As the months progress, both he and I agree I am getting significantly better at doing this. A good life coach helps motivate his or her player to step up to the plate, every single day, and swing the bat. It doesn’t matter how often we miss the ball; what matters is that we show up and swing.
My motto was always to keep swinging. Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging.
- Hank Aaron
For me, working with a life coach has been an effective way to learn the importance of being accountable to someone for meeting my goals. But at the end of the day, it’s ME I have to be accountable to. Rob’s job was to help me get me to that point.
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If you are interested in potentially working with Rob, you can contact him at: [email protected].
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