I came up with it four years ago. On December 1, I gave my wife and her best friend 24 small gifts — one to be opened each day of the month until Christmas. It was to be an adult advent calendar. The gifts were a mix of little baubles and a couple of things that were a bit nicer. Some examples — a leather bracelet; a memory stick with a few Christmas (or sexy) movies; a subscription to The Atlantic magazine; a dark chocolate bar; a sexy pair of underwear (we’re very close).
My thinking behind it was that Christmas is stressful for adults, and even more so if you are parents of young kids. While I love the holiday season, it is a lot of work, and it can be hard to find ways and time to indulge yourself. Getting a little treat every day could be just the little pick-me-up everyone needed.
Everyone loved it. My wife and her friend loved the thoughtfulness of it, and all four of us — we’re two couples who are very close — loved the gifts themselves. One of the gifts was a mulled wine kit, so we spent a Sunday afternoon having mulled wine and a fantastic brunch that our friend’s husband made. Another was two old-school adult magazines, so we all spent a Wednesday evening flipping through Playboy magazine on their sofa.
Our first adult advent calendar was four years ago. We’ve evolved the concept a little bit since. First, I decided that both the guys and the girls should get and give gifts. So, beginning in the second year, we would alternate gifts — on one day, it would be the guys getting a present from the girls; on the next day, the girls would get the gift.
We also decided that every day was a little too much. We didn’t want to give the same things each year, and it was hard to get creative when getting one for every day. And, 24 gifts, it just seemed a bit much. So, starting in year three, we moved to gifts being every second day. So, in all, the guys would give the girls six throughout December, and vice versa. This frequency felt perfect — we would anticipate each gift, and each would be unique and new.
For example, this year, the gifts the guys are getting the girls: theatre tickets for a play in January (a little culture); matching lingerie sets (a little sexy); matching silver necklaces (a little fancy); pot chocolate (a little relaxing); and massage candles and sexy stockings (more sexy). I’m, of course, not sure what the guys will get, but I did see a parcel delivered from a sexy guys’ underwear company that a good friend recommended to my wife (thank you!).
Especially since having kids, one of our goals has always been to keep the holiday season as fun and festive as possible. It’s so easy to get caught up in that long list of things you need to get done and forget the season’s purpose. For us, connecting with friends and family is what we want the holidays to be all about. This act, in a small way, is how we try to create the space for that.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Jan Romero on Unsplash
