There Is Nothing Wrong With Deleting Comments And/Or Blocking People

Recently, I wrote an article intended to be pinned at the top of my Medium profile. It is called “Ground Rules of My Content” and it covers exactly what the title states. I also link it at the end of each article I publish, and I inserted it at the end of all of my past content. I also intend to link it at the end of this article.

Why am I mentioning this in a publication about love and relationships? Because regardless of the nature or goal of interpersonal communications, boundaries are crucial. It doesn’t matter if you’re dating, friends, family, or strangers — you should always have clear standards as to what you deem acceptable and unacceptable.

This extends to social media and online content.

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A quick Google search of “Is it okay to delete comments?” yields rather interesting results. People inquire whether it is “rude” to take down comments you don’t like or to close comment sections altogether. You’ll find a myriad of opinions. Some say it’s rude, some say it is cowardly, some even insist it is a type of “censorship.” Others insist that it is perfectly acceptable.

You get similar results from “Is it okay to block others?” People want to know if blocking people is socially acceptable, or a sign of weakness. Once again, the answers vary: some say it’s necessary, others say it is immature.

That’s the thing about the digital age: we often don’t know what the heck we’re doing. We forget that the internet, smart phones, and social media have not actually been around for very long. Before they existed, communication was a lot different. To access another person, you had to put in a lot more effort — call their house and hope someone answers, mail a letter and wait two weeks for a response, or get off your lazy duff and schlep on over to their house.
Today, that is not the case. All you need is a device and access to the internet, and you can communicate with just about anyone on demand. It doesn’t matter if they’re two doors down or across the ocean; the internet is the great equalizer in connectivity.

Sometimes, it can feel like we are a little too connected. The great equalizer makes it possible for people from all over the world to come into your space and start talking. No pleasantries, no introductions — just pop up like one of those whack-a-mole games and start talking. And there’s no end point — once something is online, it’s considered open for business 24/7.

Again. We have nothing to compare this to. We’ve never had communication this fast and this widespread before. We’re just making up rules as we go.

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So, is it okay delete comments? Is it okay to block others? I say yes to both.

Let’s go back to my opening statement about my content’s ground rules. I wrote those rules after my articles about my working-class upbringing gained a lot of attention. The sudden influx of people on my articles was mostly positive —even people who disagree with me are usually respectful and pleasant.

Other times, things are different. Some people remind me of an episode of The Simpsons when Lisa Simpson said, “Why would they come to our concert just to boo us?” These people come into my space just to tell me they think my article is crap — or that they think I am crap.

In that case, bye. No warning, no second chance — the first time you come into my space and act like a jerk will be your last.

No, this is not a violation of free speech. If you have a comment removed or get blocked by someone, this in no way prevents you from expressing yourself elsewhere. All it does is restrict your access to a specific person or platform, which is fair. After all, nobody said freedom of speech guarantees you will have an unrestricted audience. People are within their right to refuse to communicate with you, for any reason they wish.

This is also not a “cowardly” move. There is nothing cowardly about setting boundaries and enforcing them — in fact, doing so is healthy. You are taking a stand and saying, “I don’t want this energy in my space, and you will not bring it here.” You are taking charge and asserting yourself.

People act as though simply being present online means you implicitly give permission for people to do whatever they want to you. I completely disagree; could you image how this would play out in real life?

“Excuse me, sir, but I couldn’t help but notice you are eating ketchup with your eggs. I just wanted to tell you that I think that is disgusting and you are a disgusting person for eating it. I can’t believe you would openly eat that garbage around me. That is all. Good-bye!”

“Hi! I saw that you are wearing a blue shirt at this grocery store today. You are ugly in blue and you should never wear it again. Maybe you should learn how to take other people’s taste in your clothes into account before you come to the grocery store next time. That is all. Good-bye!”

“Hi! I see that you are sitting here at the Ohio State football game having a good time. Well, I just wanted to let you know that football is stupid and you are stupid for liking it! I hope you get run over on your way out of the parking lot so one less sports-loving nincompoop will exist in this world! Good-bye FOREVER, loser.”

… you see how ridiculous that all sounds? If you got these types of comments in real life, you would probably tell that person to go kick rocks. Nobody would fault you for it; that person is clearly just a jerk, and you should not have to put up with them.

So, why is it any different to do this online? Why are we expected to just sit there and take it when people come into spaces and behave badly? Why is it suddenly wrong to tell these people to kick rocks via cutting off their virtual access to you?

Thus, I am calling for an end to that stigma. Take control of your internet space. Take control of your boundaries. If you don’t like the way someone is interacting with you… then get rid of them.

Nobody is entitled to your time, attention, and emotional labor. Nobody.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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