Looking for the Perfect Man?

I’ve been looking for an antique writing desk, so today, I scoured some of the grittier used furniture stores in my area. I wanted the desk to be real wood, so if it had a few bangs, dings, chips, or flaws, then all the better. These minor imperfections appeal to me because when I see them, the desk seems to come alive, turn almost human.

Not like the fancy new desks that cost so much you’re scared to use them for fear of a coffee ring or a teensy weensy scratch.

And as I was shopping, I had an epiphany.

It’s ironic how many of us like the “shabby chic” or distressed look to decorate our homes but still crave perfect appearances in every other area of our lives.

And this is especially true when looking to find a special person to share our life with.

We tell ourselves he has to be blonde with green eyes or tall or athletic or at least a six out of ten. Then, we proudly tell our friends we won’t “lower our standards” no matter what.

And I hope you find a person who fits your description perfectly.

However, today I want you to expand your horizons. I want you to take a second glance at some men you’ve probably been ignoring.

I want you to look a little longer at the men who come with scuff marks and pings and coffee rings.

Because men like this may be exactly what you wanted that you never knew you wanted.

Here’s what I mean.

You have a choice to make, so choose wisely.

If you’ve managed to find a man with a Hollywood face and a humble heart, grab hold and don’t let go.

But for most of us, those picture-perfect men are a lie.

So you have to choose between what’s behind door number one or door number two.

For example, do you go with the chiseled chin and six-pack who’s an arrogant bastard or the slightly “soft around the middle” male that treats you like a queen?

The truth is looks are a large part of initial attraction, but lust only lasts a short time when it’s based solely on physical appearance. Eventually, the “uglies” come out of everyone you meet, and that includes your version of Adonis.

For example, you may discover the picture-perfect man you thought was pure oak turned out to be made of corkboard.

Now that’s not to say that the “three out of ten” coworker who likes you is a diamond in the rough, but the point is that, in the end, what’s more valuable to you?

A grime-covered mechanic who makes dinner for you when you’re exhausted or a Chris Hemsworth look-alike who pouts like a baby when he comes home to find you haven’t started cooking?

A man with a receding hairline who makes you feel beautiful simply by looking at you or a man who sees himself as so beautiful he considers you lucky to have him?

A divorced father of two who listens to you baby cry about your problems or a six-day-a-week gym-goer who tells you he’s sorry but then walks to his car two minutes later to go work out?

You have to figure out what you want from a man in the long run.

Because it makes a hell of a lot of difference.

For example, I married my husband twenty years ago, and since then, he’s gained over a hundred pounds.

But my greatest nightmares are ones where I dream of him leaving me.

He’s my friend, lover, and soulmate.

And I love him now more than I ever did before.

After all, he’s the one that sits with me after his fourteen-hour workday because my panic disorder has been acting up. He’s the one that took turns bottle-feeding the baby, even though he had to go to work the next day and I would be at home. He’s the one that still makes me feel beautiful even though the lines and wrinkles have begun to wage battle on my once-youthful face.

Yes, he has dents. Yes, he has scratches.

But he’s there every time I need him.

Every. Single. Time.