Admittedly, I used to have a lot of panic attacks.
And I’m not saying I don’t get anxious anymore. Like I rode off into my perfect mental-health sunset and am looking down upon the rest of you mortals. I still get panicky about things every once in a while.
But I’ve been thinking a lot about paying attention to what feels right. Not what feels comfortable per say, but what feels good. Challenges that make every bone in your body say “yes” versus “get me the hell out of here, dude”.
I started realizing the power of steps.
We don’t live in a world that tells us to start small before we go big. We just don’t. For a long time I only heard stories of people who made big moves and I’d just see the end result on social media.
Friends who moved to New York City and suddenly work at NBC.
Entrepreneurs who quit their lives, moved to New Zealand and started social media consulting.
Let’s not get started on the weddings. Like, I didn’t even know you were dating-
The problem with seeing other people’s end results plastered all over Instagram is that you forget the nuances of a person’s life. You compare your nuances to another person’s end result.
I’ve re-built many parts of my life in the last year when I could’ve just taken a bus to a big city or moved halfway around the world or ran away to clown college or something. Instead, I chose to start small.
I feel grounded. Capable. More opportunities are starting to pop up because I invested smaller. After being tempted so many times to just jump and leave everything behind, I chose something that felt good. Safe? Sure. But it felt right.
Oprah once said “do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do”. I like living by that. It brings me a sense of peace. A little bit of a plan. Structure. It helps my wild mind be tame for a few minutes.
Thank goodness too, cuz that mind is a hell of a lion to feed.
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Previously Published on Medium
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