Here’s a Great Way To Overcome the Shame in Your Life

Shame will make you delete your WhatsApp and hide away from your friends. It will make you feel unworthy and less of a person than your peers. Shame will hide the parts of yourself you’d like shown because you feel undeserving. Well, all these will happen if you let it.

A the end of last year, I was ashamed, and I let it cage me. I was going through a difficult moment in my life. I stayed away from the church and refrained from reaching out to my social circle. Online or otherwise.

I have been ashamed before, and I let it keep me away from things I loved, all because I thought I didn’t deserve them in my state. However, I was determined not to let that be a trend for me this new year because I know it is not the last time I will feel like that.

So, I decided to face it.

The thing about most unpleasant situations in life is that you need to shine the light on them and speak your truth. This way, they cease to hold so much power over you. And I know, confessing that truth is not an easy thing. It requires complete vulnerability and honesty. You will need to admit to yourself that you indeed have fallen short, and in some cases, to other people.

All this requires your strength. No matter how many times you do it, it does not get any easier. Each admission is a new one. The fact that encourages you to be truthful is that you know you will be in a better place after it.

What shame are you holding on to right now?

Is it a lack of money, or do you feel less learned than your friends? Are you in trouble or still hoping to land your dream job? Maybe you still haven’t had kids or desire marriage?

First, know this;

Nothing that makes up who you are is something to be ashamed of. Whatever constituents to your being, whether physically, mentally, or spiritually is your truth and nothing else.

Second,

admitting your situation to yourself will take a whole load of you. You can speak it or write it down. Put it out there, out of you, that you feel this way. Admit to yourself what your current situation is. Whatever shortcomings you think you possess, say them, and expose the power they have over you. Therefore, it will be possible to quash that power once exposed.

Third,

tell someone. Do so if this is something you need to do or affects someone else. Truthfully and precisely, explain why things are the way they are with you, why you can’t show up or why you don’t feel like it. You will be subject to accountability and protect the relationships in your life. Additionally, it is a reminder to be mindful of your limits before making any commitments.

Relinquish all fear that may tell you otherwise. Eventually, the truth will out, but you will have saved a lot of time, resources, and energy by coming clean upfront. Live your life openly and fearfully in truth and do away with all the shame that’s holding you back.

—

This post was previously published on medium.com.

***