6 Behaviors That Show He’s Clearly Not Into You

Do you ever catch yourself wondering, “how does he feel about me?”

Do you ever want to check his phone to see if he tells his friends about you, or worse: to find out if he texts other women?

Do you ever experience a strange feeling, like there’s something wrong, but you can’t really put your finger on it?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, I have good news for you: you don’t have to guess people’s intentions. People are incredibly transparent with what they want. Nobody walks around fooling people as a hobby. No, at the end of the day, everyone wants to be seen as a good person.

The trick is: people don’t show their intentions with words. Instead, they use their actions.

The best way to find out how he feels about you is to watch his behavior.

So if you want to know how someone truly feels about you, they’ll tell you. You just have to know what to look for.

These behaviors send a crystal clear message: he’s not into you.

1. He never takes the initiative to see you.

I’m happy to say we live in an era of equality when women can take the initiative and get what they want.

But it is a two-way street: you can’t be the only party who takes the first step.

When a man asks you out, it’s a way to show he’s interested. On the contrary, if he only waits for your invitation, it’s a sign that he’s not interested enough to take action. So notice how often he makes this effort.

Think of the last couple of dates you had. Who invited? Who texted first?

Don’t get me wrong: it’s no problem to invite him out. But healthy relationships require some balance. So make sure he also does his part.

2. He only plans dates at his house.

Everything people do can send a message about their intentions. The type of date he plans for you speaks volumes about his true feelings.

A man who cares for you will put effort into planning a nice date. He’ll listen to your preferences, take you to nice places, and have honest conversations. The goal of the date is to get to know you.

A man who doesn’t care for you will put in minimum effort. He’ll do what is convenient for him, in a place close to his house, and won’t spend much money. The goal of the date is to get sexually involved with you.

So if you want to know how he feels, let him plan the night.

3. He’s only available on weekdays.

It’s no secret that the prime time of the week is the weekend. No matter how much you love your job, weekends have a unique taste of joy. Everyone hustles throughout the week, and Friday night comes as the reward for our hard work.

You save the weekend for what you genuinely want to do.

He can choose to travel with friends, work out, game, party, or watch Netflix. Or he can choose to spend time with you.

None of these choices are wrong. But they show his priorities.

A man who only calls you during the week or late at night doesn’t prioritize you. And that’s a clear sign of his (lack of) feelings.

4. He never asks questions.

What do you enjoy talking about: random topics or your hobbies?

The topic of your conversation speaks volumes about your interests. Nobody talks about what they don’t like (except to complain). Your conversations say a lot about you as a couple.

When a man only talks about his work, his friends, his pet, his games, and his interests, he makes the date about himself. You may say, “he just wants to share his life with me,” and that might be true.

But the goal of the date is to get to know each other. It’s a two-way street.

A man who asks questions is interested in you. He listens, offers his opinions, and shows interest in your life.

If he doesn’t seem interested in you, he probably isn’t.

5. He mentions other women.

Let me get this straight: unless you’re in a committed relationship, he doesn’t owe you explanations. He can’t cheat on you unless you agree to be in a relationship.

Still, you go on dates to figure out whether you’re interested in this person or not. You show your upsides because you’re trying to impress them.

When he says, “by the way, I’m seeing other women,” it means you’re just an option among his variety of suitors. He wants you to know he’s still not committed to you. In the end, the reminder that you have “competitors” makes you feel anxious.

On the contrary, if he were interested in you, he would make you feel special.

Although you’re still not committed, he would act more discretely when making his decision. He would not jeopardize the relationship for a boost in his ego.

It’s one thing, to be honest. It’s another to mistreat you.

6. He takes forever to reply.

How long do you take to reply to a text from a guy if you don’t want to see him? Now, what about a text from your best friend? That’s a massive difference, isn’t it?

Let’s be real: he saw your text.

You spend countless hours per day on your phone. Whether it’s on Instagram, e-mails, or texts — nobody leaves their phone unattended for too long. If he didn’t reply, it’s because he didn’t want to.

Yes, he has a tough job, so he can’t always reply. That might even be true. But replying to a text takes minimal effort. A man who doesn’t have the time to text you won’t have time to care for you.

Now, I’m not saying he should be available to you 24/7.

I’m saying that a man who leaves you on read did it on purpose. You notice when a man cares to reply to your texts: he makes room for a conversation, lets you know if he’s busy, and wants you to know he cares.

Determined men do what they want to do.

…

You can’t see these behaviors when you’re emotionally involved. You become biased and hang on to each small piece of evidence that reinforces your beliefs. And the truth is, and want to believe he likes you.

But, in reality, it comes down to one thing: if you have to wonder whether he likes you or not, that’s a wrong start.

…

If you enjoyed this article, consider getting a Medium membership. You’ll get access to countless thought-provoking stories. If you’re a writer, here’s a great opportunity to make money: I made over $100 in my first months here.

—

This post was previously published on medium.com.

***