Never Date Someone Who Can’t Drive

I’ve just had to end a talking stage for multiple reasons. I shan’t tell you because if the person ever comes across this article then they will know it’s about them.

It’s my first talking stage of the year, but I’m sick of them already.

I believe that talking stages help to wiggle down exactly what you want in a partner, and when you’re able to figure that out then it’s going to save you a lot of time speaking to randomers and ending up disappointed each time.

After probably hundreds of talking stages in my life (obviously, that’s an over-exaggeration), I didn’t know that a must-have trait I want my future partner is to be able to drive.

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When I first met him (let’s call him Callum), he told me he could drive. Callum even showed me a short video of his beautiful Audi. Oh, snap! I have an Audi too.

Just for the record, I have been driving for eight years.

We met a few times at his house in Central London pretty soon after I met him. The whole relationship moved very fast which I enjoyed. When traveling to him, I would opt for the tube each time.

Honestly, at first, I was sceptical about bringing my car into central London and parking it for a few reasons. It’s expensive, there’s hardly any parking, I’m consistently anxious about my car getting robbed or scratched, and did I mention it’s expensive to park? If we decided to go around London, we would travel via train or Uber.

After a few weeks, a day come around when I was running so late, I just had to drive. On that night, he suggested that I drive bowling too. Really? I just drove for an hour, I don’t want to drive anymore! Nevertheless, I drove anyway because I’m a sucker for love.

More dates went by and time after time it was suggested that I drive. Don’t get me wrong, driving is usually meant to be more convenient as you’ll get to your destination quicker, but let me add that driving energetically drains you. Especially if there’s traffic involved.

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Do you know the number of times my head has started to nod off at the wheel and I’ve had to pull over for a nap?

Wait — where was Callum’s car? The fancy Audi he showed me. Was it even his?

As it turns out, he sold it due to it being too expensive, which is far enough. He said he didn’t want another car until he got a promotion at work.

Looks like I’m the designated driver.

When it came to going to another town for the day, we were running very late for the train. Who’s idea was it I drive half an hour to the main train station? I wasn’t happy about it because it meant spending more money to park my car in a secure place which cost actually £25 for 24 hours (not including petrol)!

Guess who drove anyway? And it actually took 45 minutes to get to the train station.

Upon coming back home after a beautiful but pricey day away, I didn’t check the closing time for the car parks. The gate was securely locked and I was not able to get my car until the next morning. Lucky I paid for 24 hours…

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After I had sadly ended it with Callum— with the car situation not being a red flag but it was burning at the back of my mind — I received two letters in the post which turned out to be two very-ugly £80 fines for driving through the Central London congestion zone. If not paid within 14 days, they would be £240 each.

Can you see why I never wanted to drive through London in the first place?

I didn’t even bother to argue against the fines, I just accepted it. The worst part is that I had just paid off a £55 fine! Another awful part of it was that I was right on the border of the congestion zone.

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So, as you can see, the person with the car in the relationship gets burdened with all the expenses. Lord knows how much petrol I spent driving up and down London.

I’m not taking this risk with my next partner. I better see the physical car next time! Boys look sexy when driving anyway, or is that just me being weird?

Many may think I’m being unfair to look for this in a partner. For someone who very much likes cars, this isn’t odd. For someone who wants their future partner to reflect them and their current lifestyle, this isn’t odd.

Fair enough, Callum and I weren’t actually boyfriend and girlfriend, but it is a bit of a red flag for him to not offer to pay for anything yet badger me on to drive each time.

Maybe it was a test? Who knows. I’m not giving anyone the chance next time!

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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