How Space Can Save Your Relationship

When it comes to relationships, we sometimes get a little too lost in them.

We can forget to take care of ourselves and spend time with our friends or pursue our hobbies. This can lead to problems down the road, as we resent the other person for taking up all our time.

Luckily, there’s a simple solution to this.

Getting some precious “Me” time.

I don’t care if you’re in a new 6-month relationship or have been married to the same man or woman for the last twenty years. We all need physical distance in our relationships to breathe, relax, and thrive.

By spending some time away from your partner, you’ll come back to the relationship renewed and with a refreshed point of view. And once you spend time together again, you’ll most likely appreciate them and value your relationship more.

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Unhealthy Relationships Thrive On Co-Dependency

But relationships can be doomed by co-dependency.

In some relationships, couples don’t always spend time apart. You know those couples. The ones that must do everything together.

For an average bystander, just watching this type of relationship, where the couple must interact with each other 24/7, is suffocating.

Couples like this find it difficult to spend time away from one another and soon become resentful. But they don’t know why they resent their partner.

That feeling of resentment and anxiety lurks in the mind, hidden in the subconscious, growing until it gets worse.

And if you’re not careful in your own relationship, this resentment will grow and fester, eventually tearing you and your lover apart.

Why?

Because when our relationship suffocates us, we forget about our own needs and devote all of our time to the other person. Which will only lead to future problems as we get upset with them for monopolizing our time and attention.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

When we take some time for ourselves, we’re ameliorated to appreciate the other person and the relationship we chose to be in.

We come back to our lover with a fresh perspective, feeling more relaxed and open. This simple solution makes us feel less burdened in the relationship while preventing any resentment or tension from building up in the future.

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How to Create Space You Need

If you’re currently in a suffocating relationship, there’s a simple solution to create the physical space you need.

Even if you’re not in this type of relationship, you can get in the habit of creating space together with your partner. That way you avoid tension, resentment, and stress in the future.

Here’s how to do it:

Talk to your partner about needing space and be open about your feelings
Spend time away from your partner with friends and family
Take up a hobby or activity that you enjoy doing without them
Go for a refreshing walk or a long drive, doing it alone
Get enough sleep and take care of yourself emotionally and physically

But remember this: the first bullet (“the talk”) is critical.

You don’t want your partner questioning your sudden change in behavior or have them suspect you’re cheating on them.

It’s much better to have an open dialogue before establishing the new habit. And during the talk—it’s really not a bad thing—make sure you communicate why it’s good for you, why it’s good for them, and how it will only strengthen your relationship in the weeks, months and years ahead.

If you can put these things into practice, your relationship will prosper.

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Wrapping It All Up

In conclusion, physical distance is a crucial part of any relationship.

As the old idiom goes…

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

My marriage would surely be difficult and stressful if I didn’t have enough space. But early in our relationship, my wife and I learned the importance of allowing each other adequate space to do the things we love.

I like to write on my computer, while she likes to play cards with friends.

I wouldn’t be able to focus on my writing if I had my wife sitting in the same room, perched behind my shoulder. And she knows that.

So, she gives me the time and space to pursue my passion for writing. That, in turn, makes me a more attentive, caring, and loving husband.

Why?

Because I value the moments we get to spend together more fully. And she does too.

The lesson? Allow your partner enough space—real physical distance—and you’ll likely find they’ll return the favor.

As a result, your relationship will continue to grow and bloom like two wild sunflowers through the many seasons of life.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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