In the fall of 2000, I had the opportunity to attend a unique leadership development program with my two business coaches. Many parts of it made it like no program I had ever participated in up until then.
Another aspect of the program that was unique was the focus that we were expected to give a single word throughout the 9-month program. The word was intended to support our growth journey with our cohorts as well as back in our workplaces.
I worked with a small group of my cohorts to dig deeper into my word and get feedback and support from them throughout the program. The end of the program included a presentation to the full group on our words. We were expected to share why we selected the word we did and what impact it would have on us to focus on the word going forward.
My word in 2000 was Acceptance. I wrestled with it and came out with the understanding that Acceptance was about three things rather than two sides of a coin.
Acceptance must include accepting myself as I am and being kinder and gentler with myself for my failures and indiscretions. Finding forgiveness in Acceptance become my focus for the work I did with the work from a personal perspective.
Acceptance has another aspect which is me accepting you. Some of my biases had prevented me from accepting other people who judged and condemned me for being a gay man. I came to realize there would be a greater sense of freedom if I was willing to accept other people as they were.
Acceptance has a third component which is you accepting me. Truthfully going into the work with Acceptance, I thought this was the only part of it that I wanted to focus on to let go of some destructive thoughts and feelings.
It turned out that my work with the word Acceptance became more involved and complicated when I was open to exploring the three parts of it. As I opened my mind to get the most out of diving deeper into this word and its impact on my life, I came to realize that I would have a long-term relationship with this word from that program in 2000.
Acceptance was my word of the year since 2000 making it 21 years old when I started with it as my word on January 1, 2022. Little did I know that it had aged out and would stop being my word during the first quarter.
Everything changed in a blink when the specialist said these words, you have cancer. I think I processed the emotional cycle of change from start to finish during our 3-minute conversation. I landed in a place of fear only to remember my word Acceptance upon reflection later that same day.
I had done enough mindset work to know that I could meet the thoughts that were coming to mind and allow them to have their life cycle, not attaching to them. Acceptance helped Support me in finding a new way of looking at cancer.
Since March 16, 2022, when the cancer diagnosis was shared with me, my word has changed to Support. It is much more fitting to start a new cycle with a new word as I go through this life experience.
Support for myself comes in the ways that I stop and pause for self-care when my body is in pain or exhausted. I Support myself by honoring and respecting the thoughts and feelings that I have with little to no judgment of them. I am working on that daily.
Support from others has been coming my way like massive waves breaking at the shoreline. Seeing the waves coming and allowing them to be and have their way with me is freeing and reminds me of my childhood times on the beaches of South Florida. Support from others might in some cases be imminent like the wave, so Acceptance of it makes it more fun.
Support of others is something that I have done for so long that it is more habitual. I take seriously my role as an Ally, Advocate, and Mentor and know that the principles of supporting others are deeply embedded in the values.
I am in a good place in giving Support to my new word, Support while having said goodbye and thank you to my previous word, Acceptance. I see can now how these words were intended to connect and move me along on my journey of growing and developing as a leader and a person.
Do you focus on a word or concept each year as a part of your rituals or habits?
How might focusing on a word keep you in alignment with your goals and objectives for a given year or longer?
What value do you place on the words you use when talking to yourself or sharing your stories with other people?
With much gratitude…
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