Here are some alternative, positive perspectives.
#1. Slow action over paralysis
If you hesitate every time, anxiety and doubt become your default choices.
Confidence is a slow, deliberate action. Does anyone remember Harvey from Suits? When under pressure, he spoke less and with more intention.
Not jumping on an opportunity doesn’t mean you won’t take it. Or you missed your shot. A slow response or approach gives you time to plot better moves.
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#2. Rejection over regret
What does someone remember when they are on their deathbed? It’s not the woman or man who rejected them. Nope.
They recall not asking out the person whom they can envision a life.
You won’t think of the “no’s” people say to you. When you reflect on your life, you’ll remember all the “no’s” and limits you placed on yourself. Rejection takes a second; years later, it won’t matter.
The “What ifs” of life, span significant lifetimes. You will wonder what could have been if you had taken the chance. This reflection happens more often if self-made restrictions push you further from your dream life.
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#3. Support over fixing
It’s hard for a guy to say, “I’m here for you.”.
It’s in your nature to want to fix things.
Are you fearful about what is the best response to these talks? Avoid adding to the chat. Listen. And more critically, mirror your partner’s body language.
Imagine Health says mirroring cause empathy.
There are three types of empathy.
- You can identify the person’s emotions.
- You remember experiences with similar feelings.
- You offer comfort, not advice.
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#4. Fantasy over insecurity
Be great at one thing.
Solitary mastery spreads, and soon insecurity dries up.
A legendary internet story. A wealthy man held a phone while the valet took pictures in his car. This one act of kindness made the employee’s day. Imagine what owning such a vehicle would do for his self-esteem.
It doesn’t have to be an object.
Your mastery can be fitness, applied knowledge, or a practical skill. It is one area that makes you feel good enough. It causes you to hold your head up and love yourself.
It is a fantasy — because you aren’t good at everything. But having memories about doing well drives confidence to try. They overshadow thoughts of insecurity that encourage you to stay on the sidelines.
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Thank you for reading this post.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
 White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism |
 Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box |
 The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
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Photo credit: iStockPhoto.com
