
The ‘fun’ activities in this list are secretly ruining your mental health.
At first, I wasn’t aware how harmful these habits could be.
Since giving them up, I’ve become 10x more joyful, productive and successful.
That’s why I wanted to share them with you.
So, let’s dive in.
1. Materialism
My favorite quote about materialism is “we buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like.”
You might deny that you’re doing this, but ask yourself: what are those Yeezy trainers or Gucci handbags really doing for you?
Do they make you feel better about yourself? There are plenty of self-esteem exercises that’ll help you do that for free.
Do they make other people respect you? Other shallow people, perhaps. Also, one of the best activities for your mental health is to stop caring what other people think.
Do the world’s wealthiest people spend money on brands that make them look rich? No, that’s just for people trying to look richer than they are.
The worst thing is: you can never win the materialism game. There’ll always be someone with more stuff to compare yourself to.
Save money on these unnecessary extravagant brand names, and you may have enough for:
- extra holidays;
- a better place to live;
- better food;
- better healthcare;
- paying someone to do the tasks you hate;
- investing in yourself.
2. Trying To Change Someone’s Mind
It can be oddly satisfying to win an argument and prove someone wrong. Perhaps it makes you feel superior to your vanquished opponent.
The problem is: it’s almost impossible to make people change their mind in debates that are important to them. They’d rather spend hours creating nonsensical arguments than concede defeat.
Arguing about politics, religion, gender dynamics or sports is pointless for that reason. People build their identities around these things. They’re not going to change their mind, no matter how many facts you bring to the argument. It’s exhausting and ultimately achieves nothing.
Correcting people’s unimportant mistakes is equally pointless. All it does is make them hate you.
3. Online Dating
Online dating is marketed as a quick and easy way to meet a romantic partner. Maybe you’ve managed to meet someone on an dating app. Even so, the odds are stacked against men. There are far more male users who are far less picky than women. This leaves women overwhelmed with options and thus only selecting the best of the best.
The end result is: even above-average men end up with nothing but the dregs.
Unless you have fantastic photos, the online dating world is one where you’re unattractive to almost everyone. That’s horrible for your self-esteem, even if you get some action now and again.
Men with attractive personalities will nearly always be better off learning how to approach women in real life.
4. Watching Sports
Some people let a sporting result dictate their mood for the rest of the weekend. Imagine giving that much power to complete strangers…
Even if that’s not you, watching sports is a massive waste of time.
Let’s say your team wins the Superbowl this year. How will that actually improve your life, other than the huge party being thrown in that city?
Perhaps you’ll gain some pride from deciding to choose the team that won, but that’ll only last until their next loss.
If you hadn’t spent so much time and money watching these multi-millionaires chase a ball around, perhaps your life would look more like theirs.
5. Following Anyone You Don’t Know On Social Media
Social media apps suck your attention. They drain your dopamine receptors. They present a false reality that makes your life seem worse than it is. The less you consume, the better.
Sure, some people produce educational content on these platforms. However, most of them produce more in-depth content on YouTube or their own websites.
I can see the value in posting on these platforms — and maybe using them to keep up with your actual friends. But there’s no reason to follow the lives of people you don’t know. For the most part, it’s like watching reality TV, but more mind-numbing and fake.
6. Gossiping
Gossiping gives people a ‘dirty high’ making them feel superior to the person they’re discussing. Perhaps it makes you feel closer to the people you’re talking to.
That’s all good until you remember this harsh truth about gossipers; if they gossip to you, they’ll gossip about you.
If you get caught up in gossip, either focus on the positive or exit the conversation completely. You’ll feel better about yourself and others will respect you more.
7. Watching The News
The news exists to spread fear and outrage. The biggest tragedies and dramas get the most coverage. It’s awful for our mental health.
A lot of people think they need to watch the news to stay up to date with current affairs. But why? Can you list one moment when watching the news impacted your day-to-day life?
Consuming the news might make you feel intelligent, but it usually does more harm than good. If anything truly important happened, you’d hear it from another source.
8. Trying To Please Everyone
When you try to please everyone, you end up with a lot of people who think you’re ‘kind of OK’, but few truly loyal friends.
Being unapologetically yourself is less stressful and more beneficial.
You’ll end up with a few haters, but more people who absolutely adore you. This will lead you to a better life. My guide on how to be polarising will help you to reach this goal.
9. Drinking Diet Coke
I gave up alcohol after I took up boxing. For a while, that meant ordering Diet Coke whenever I was out at a bar.
But, once I read this study on what Diet Coke does to your body, I never touched it again.
Diet Coke attacks your teeth, immune system and digestive system within 20 minutes of consumption. Worst of all, it depletes your body of nutrients causing fatigue, while making you hungrier and thirstier than before. Other sodas are just as bad, so I avoid them all now.
10. Complaining
Yes, it feels good to release frustration. Better out than in, right? It can create a weird bond when two miserable people are complaining about the same thing.
The problem is: it brings down the mood of everyone in earshot.
I made a rule to only complain if a situation can be changed. In that case, I’ll only complain to someone with the power to change it.
If that’s not possible, I’ll do my best to focus on the positive and raise the spirits of everyone who’s affected. This will boost your own mood and make you infinitely more likeable.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism |
Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box |
The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
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Photo credit:Woody Kelly on Unsplash
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism
Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box
The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer
