If They Aren’t Reliable Now, They Will Never Be

This is a 100% personal experience and a personal article. I’m 42 and have seen and observed many things. Reliability and maturity is a subject I feel a need to write about.

I’m a perpetual optimist, and I always look for the best. As much as I try to be an optimist, I’m also a realist.

I write, but I read much more than I write. There is a huge issue with people needing to be more reliable. The reality check is that this applies to men, but this replies to you also, ladies.

I’m my life, I’ve noticed a couple of things. Yes, as people grow and mature, they naturally correct certain things. I’ve also noticed that reliability is not a function of maturity.

I’m loathed to speak in terms of black and white. Few things in life are absolute. This is NOT an absolute, but it is something I’ve learned and seen time after time that this is indeed a somewhat accurate generalization.

Reliability is not a function of maturity. I’ve seen people grow up and mature and grow to be successful. Some of these people were never reliable, and even though they grew up, being reliable is dead last on their list of priorities. In short, it’s a me-first mentality, and also you? You only matter if I need you.

I have a rare friend. We’ve been friends almost since birth. He’s always been reliable. Not just to me but to everybody else. He never cancels plans unless he has a real and legitimate reason if he has to cancel plans. He’s 11 months younger than me. He has always been reliable and he always will be. It’s sad to say, but I’ve had to rely on him a bit more than he relies on me. In short, I’m saying he’s a true friend, and I want to be his true friend, even if he relies on me less.

Yes, ladies. I’m a guy. I’m a dude. While I’m a guy writing for guys, this applies to you also. I’m hoping men striving to be better will pause and think about what I’m saying, but if the situation is reversed or mutual, I hope everybody will pause here for consideration.

There’s this tiny portion of the population that works and strives to be better no matter what. No matter if they receive anything considered important in monetary terms. These people are few and far between.

Others, this being the majority, know people can and will change. But that only happens when the pain of not changing outweighs the paying of making a change.

This is so tough for me. I hate to tell you. If you’re in a relationship with an unreliable partner, it has nothing to do with maturity. It has nothing to do with growing up. It’s who they are.

As hard as it is, you might have to accept many only change when the pain of change is greater than the pain of staying the same. Sadly, if they know they’ll lose you and don’t change, that gives you an indication of what the pain of losing you will. If you’re in this situation, my HEART goes out to you.

But you may need to let go to protect yourself and seek out an amazing and awesome future.

You can’t force a person to change. You face an extremely uphill battle if you’re trying to make an unreliable person reliable.

To Sum This Up…

Let me ask a very serious question. Do you quest to make them better, or is your quest to make them who you want them to be?

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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