How and Why the “Little” Things in Life Are Actually the Big Things

I’ve heard many times that in life, the little things turn out to be the big things — the most important things of all.

Despite hearing it and even thinking I might understand what it means, I recently discovered the truth: I had absolutely no idea what it really means.

Until now, that is.

Sometimes it takes a catastrophic life event to shake loose these kinds of realizations, and other times we get a major wake-up call in the form of a job loss, an illness, or a spouse announcing they don’t want to be with you anymore.

However it comes, it’s often so jarring and sudden that it shifts your entire perspective and understanding of the world around you.

…

I experienced this recently. In an instant, I began to zero in on what actually was important to me in life, and then saw all the things that I thought were important — but it turns out, really aren’t — completely fall away.

It was like I was watching a house of cards fall down all around me in a fluttering frenzy. When the cards had settled, they were all face down. But as I sifted and sorted through the cards, I came upon one card that was face up. There it was! The thing that means everything to me!

I quickly realized that it had been there all along, but in the commotion of all the falling cards, it had been covered up to the point that I couldn’t see it anymore. It had entered my blind spot.

And this is exactly what happens in life.

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When life gets hectic or stressful or feels out-of-control busy, we tend to get swept up in the noise. We feel like we’re just trying to stay afloat and keep a handle on all the boiling liquids on the stove.

But amidst the chaos come these little opportunities to show our loved ones we care; only, we fail to recognize them as opportunities to make someone special feel loved, and instead brush them off with some tired excuse.

Maybe your husband asks you to go for a walk with him after dinner or your wife asks you to sit with her on the couch. We can’t right now, we tell them. Or, sorry, there’s something else we’d rather be doing.

But these little moments of acknowledgement and connection are far more important than we realize at the time, because they’re the building blocks of a close, trusting relationship.

…

Every split-second choice to keep working instead of closing the laptop, to turn on the TV rather than go for a walk or sit and talk to someone, or to bring your phone into bed and stare at it instead of your partner is a step towards a weaker connection.

But every time you put your phone down and look at them when they’re talking, reach for their hand when you’re out walking, or acknowledge something they did and thank them for it, you’re headed towards a stronger connection.

Every time you listen attentively and participate in a conversation rather than grunting a response with your eyes glued to a screen makes someone feel seen and heard.

And as it turns out, it’s the little things that can make or break a relationship — so choose, as often as you can, to recognize what the small things are, and to prioritize them.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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From The Good Men Project on Medium

What Does Being in Love and Loving Someone Really Mean?

My 9-Year-Old Accidentally Explained Why His Mom Divorced Me

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

The Internal Struggle Men Battle in Silence

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