There was a time in my life in which I needed to plan things out, covering all eventualities. You know that saying, “We make plans and God laughs.”? It has been happening more often lately. I had planned to attend my favorite musical festival this weekend, the XPoNential Music Festival sponsored by the radio station that is #1 on my car radio dial, WXPN. It plays an eclectic blend of music ranging from reggae to rock, from blues to folk, from electronic to hip hop, including both heritage artists and up and coming performers. As I am typing this, the song Southern Nights by Allen Toussaint is wafting through the air. Mother Nature had other ideas as we are catching the remnants of Tropical Storm Ophelia and the rain has been coming down for the past two days. As much as the festival has fed my soul for decades, my body is saying “Nah, I don’t think so,” to traipsing through puddles and sitting on a wet tarp, hauling a cooler, backpack, using my trusty aluminum hiking pole to traverse the muddy ground. There was a time in my life when I would have been ready, willing and able to do that, but nearing 65, I am heeding the messages of my body. Instead, I will continue to watch the concert via livestream as I had on Friday night and Saturday. Not exactly like being there, since I get charged up being in the presence of other festival goers. I am also recovering from bronchial blech and would prefer to be cozy and dry at home. Allison Russell, Low Cut Connie, Josh Ritter and Bruce Hornsby are on my list of acts that I wish I could have seen in person today, but virtual viewing will have to do for this year.
Tonight is Erev Yom Kippur. In the Jewish tradition, holidays begin the evening prior at sunset and so the High Holy Day commences this evening and concludes tomorrow night at sunset. In the interim, we are called on to pray, contemplate and fast. In my childhood and into young adulthood, I attended synagogue services, sometimes with reluctance since it was expected of me and on occasion, with an acceptance that it was part of a tradition to which I was connected by an invisible thread of ancestry. In my college years, I came to create my own rituals that involved sitting by the water, meditating and journaling. I would focus on forgiveness and do-overs. More recently, I have incorporated the use of mala (Buddhist prayer necklace) on which there are 108 beads. I would run them through my fingers and for each one, send a blessing to someone who has touched my life in one way or another. A few years ago, I went around three times, since there were so many who came to mind and heart. I will likely do that as well tomorrow.
The focus is acknowledging our sins and practicing Teshuvah (which translates to ‘turning’, as in turning over a new leaf). The Hebrew word for sin doesn’t imply hellfire and brimstone as it does in Christianity. Instead, it translates to ‘missing the mark,’ as in archery. An annual do-over, a sense of taking inventory and making amends as in Step 4 and Step 9 in the 12 Steps of AA. I always liked that aspect.
In the hours between the beginning and end of the day, I will be engaging in Tikkun Olam which translates to ‘repair of the world.’ As part of a Facebook group called Bucks County Kind, (you are welcome to join!), I have co-created an art contest for local students with the theme ‘What does kindness mean to you?’ and tomorrow, we will be sorting through 300 entries to choose the top five which will be voted on by the community and the one with the most votes will go on mugs, t-shirts and stickers to be sold by a local business called Monkey’s Uncle. All of the children’s art work will be displayed in store front windows of our little town with a big heart, called Doylestown, PA. Proceeds from sales of these items will be donated to CSSH (Coalition to Shelter and Support the Homeless).
The day will end with a traditional Break the Fast dinner at my bestie Barb’s house. A chance to celebrate beginnings and honor transitions. A time to treasure connection. A way of acknowledging the passage of time. An opportunity for do-overs. I live so as to have few regrets and yet there are certainly things I wish I had done differently throughout my life. Good thing I have a chance to do to it differently this time.
My favorite prayer that comes from a prayer book that was used for our High Holiday services at the synagogue I attended in Florida when we lived there in the early 1990s is called:
Unending Love (by Rabbi Rami Shapiro)
We are loved by an unending love.
We are embraced by arms that find us
even when we are hidden from ourselves.
We are touched by fingers that soothe us
even when we are too proud for soothing.
We are counseled by voices that guide us
even when we are too embittered to hear.
We are loved by an unending love.
We are supported by hands that uplift us
even in the midst of a fall.
We are urged on by eyes that meet us
even when we are too weak for meeting.
We are loved by an unending love.
Embraced, touched, soothed, and counseled,
Ours are the arms, the fingers, the voices;
Ours are the hands, the eyes, the smiles;
We are loved by an unending love.
On this day, I don’t wish myself an ‘easy fast,’ as is often wished for us, but rather a powerful, healing, meaningful and redemptive fast that pushes the re-set button for me and encourages me to go with the flow.
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This Post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
