A fat wallet spent on a lavish wedding is the golden ticket to a lasting marriage.
That’s what the wedding industry wants you to believe.
The multi-billion-dollar industry that thrives on the commodification of love and romance, needs this marketing stunt to keep thriving.
And societal pressure surely helps to keep this myth alive.
But let’s unveil this bride and see what’s really underneath it.
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Are diamonds forever?
Two researchers from the University of Emory looked at over 3,000 married individuals in the U.S. and examined the link between wedding expenses and the length of the marriage.
They surveyed adults in the U.S. who tied the knot with someone of the opposite sex and weren’t widow-shopping. The survey covered a range of topics relevant to their study, including marital status, marriage duration, wedding expenses, and other demographic information.
From a bunch of data, they reduced it to 3,151 solid responses and cut out outliers like those who weren’t on U.S. soil or same-sex marriages (since the study’s focus was elsewhere).
Here’s what the results show.
Findings
Now to the juicy stuff.
First, dropping a ton of cash on an engagement ring doesn’t guarantee a lasting union. The study shows an inverse relationship.
- Men who spent between $2,000 and $4,000 on rings were more likely to end up divorced compared to those who opted for more economical options ($500 to $2,000).
There’s a 30% higher risk of divorce for the higher-spending group.
Second, the bigger and more extravagant the wedding, the shorter the marriage.
- Spending less than $1,000 on the wedding, compared to spending between $5,000 and $10,000, is linked to a decrease in the hazard of divorce.
This translates into a 50% lower risk of divorce for those who spend under $1,000.
Also, women who had expensive weddings were more likely to see their marriage end in divorce.
- Women who spent $20,000 or more on their wedding are more likely to divorce compared to those who spent between $5,000 and $10,000.
There’s a 60% increased risk of divorce for women in the higher wedding spending bracket.
But there are some positive factors to keep in mind:
- Those who kept their wedding expenses low were more likely to enjoy a longer marriage.
- A higher attendance to the wedding and going on a honeymoon (regardless of cost) were generally associated with longer marriage duration.
The big lesson?
Big weddings and flashy rings are not the foundation of a lasting marriage. It’s not about how much you spend, but the values and compatibility that brought the two together.
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So those in a relationship, what should they do?
Instead of being swayed by societal pressure and the wedding industry marketing agenda, focus on the essence of the relationship and be financially prudent.
In this instance, size doesn’t matter.
A big rock or a lavish wedding won’t get you far, but the strength and depth of the relationship will. Sentimental value beats carat count every time.
And for women thinking about having a fairy tale wedding, think again. Women who went all-out on wedding expenses had a higher divorce rate. A dream wedding shouldn’t be a financial nightmare.
And to everyone out there: invest in your future, not just on one day.
The best investment will always be the one you do on each other.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Alonso Reyes on Unsplash
