Recently, Kansas City Chiefs star quarterback Patrick Mahomes was razzed about having a “dad bod.” The man is undoubtedly in shape, so you’d think the comment would have been ignored or overlooked. But something about it must have hit a nerve because, although good-natured, he not only addressed the comment but referred to it and his “dad bod” several times.
We’re used to hearing about women and body image issues, but men feeling self-conscious about their physique doesn’t get the same level of attention. Many might assume that, given the camouflaging benefit of cargo shorts and baggy t-shirts, most guys are pretty comfortable with what’s happening underneath.
But are they?
Not really.
The truth is that men deal with body image issues just like women, just not in quite the same way or in such an obvious a manner.
How Men Experience Body Image Concerns
Body image issues aren’t exclusive to either gender, but women have borne the brunt of physical scrutiny for years. It’s been an unfortunate social norm for eons to judge women based on their appearance, especially their bodies. On the other hand, a man’s measure has generally been taken by the size of his bank account.
That tide has turned, however. With changing norms and standards, the rise of social media, and movies like Magic Mike, more and more examples of ideal male bodies are causing regular guys to feel the distance between those images and their own reality.
We know that women often get compared based on breast size, hips, and legs. Are there equivalent measures for men? Kind of.
The primary areas in which men experience body image issues include,
- Muscularity and fitness. Are you jacked? Or maybe you’re cut? Swole? Yoked? For anyone who doesn’t speak gym rat, these are all terms to describe the appearance of particularly fit men.
Jacked is the state of being supremely muscular, cut is having exceptional definition, swole and yoked are similar terms and denote being both jacked and cut. While most men can put on a gun show of some kind when pushed, it’s the abs that seem to be at the heart of differentiation between the rad bod and the dad bod.
- Weight and body fat. Do you know your body comp? More focus has been placed on body composition (fat vs. muscle), and more men now pressure themselves to maintain a certain weight or body fat percentage.
- Pressure for Athleticism: Do you do halfs or fulls (marathons)? Interested in an Ironman? Or maybe lifting is your jam. No matter your choice, the pressure to be athletic is in full force.
Men who aren’t as physically active or don’t participate in sports or other athletic endeavors with any intensity may feel inadequate compared to what’s being promoted in the media. This can impact their body image.
- Clothing and fashion. Societal expectations regarding apparel and fashion for men have always been around. We all know Sharp Dressed Man by ZZ Top. But with brands like LuluLemon and Nike catering more to the everyman crowd, not having the right “fit” can contribute to body image issues. Buh-bye cargo shorts.
Of course, men aren’t entirely unfamiliar with being superficially judged. Certain male attributes have always borne scrutiny.
• Height
• Hair loss
• Aging
These have always been the big three for men. The irony is that while men may be suffering more body image issues now than in the past, these three areas have become less of a focus. Hot guys can be short, bald, and old – just ask Ed Harris.
The Impact of Body Image Issues on Men
Let’s be clear – there’s nothing inherently wrong with striving to be fit, healthy, and practicing good grooming. No one’s promoting being lazy or living off fast food.
But fitness culture, media portrayals of the perfect male body, and product marketing have taken their toll on the self-confidence of many men over the last decade.
Among the more recent concerns when it comes to men are,
- Mental health status. Body image issues can lead to mental health challenges, such as depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem (obviously these are true for women too).
- Eating disorders. While eating disorders are more commonly associated with women, men can also develop conditions like anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, or a binge-eating disorder due to body image concerns. In fact, according to NEDA (National Eating Disorder Association), body dysmorphia in men is on the rise, and 1 in 3 people who develop an eating disorder are now male.
- Impact on relationships. Body image concerns may affect interpersonal relationships, including romantic relationships and friendships. Men may experience difficulties forming connections due to low self-esteem related to their body image.
- Obsessive social comparisons and competition. Much like “Keeping Up with Jones” is spending money to compete for social status, men are increasingly concerned about competing with other men for fitness and appearance status. Consider it “keeping up with the Jacks.”
They may engage in obsessive comparisons by getting thirsty with their social media posts or constantly trying to one-up other guys. Comparing yourself to unrealistic standards, whether you’re a man or a woman, can contribute to body dissatisfaction and mental health issues.
What’s A Guy to Do?
It’s essential to recognize that body image concerns can affect individuals differently, and everyone’s experience is unique. This means handling body image issues is a personal journey, and different strategies work for different individuals.
That being said, some general tips may help a man navigate and address body image concerns. Consider the following to help reset your perspective and reset your relationship with your body:
- Focus on health, not just appearance. By shifting your focus from appearance-centric goals to overall health and well-being, you’ll likely kill two birds with one stone and do it in a manner that’s better for your mental health and self-esteem. So, try embracing activities that contribute to overall physical and mental health, such as regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and sufficient sleep.
- Set realistic goals. Many of the men and women you see in ads, on social media, and on screens make a living looking the way they do. They pay (and pay some more) for trainers, doctors, touch-ups, etc. 99.9 percent of us can’t afford and don’t have the time to do that. So, let it go.
Instead, set specific health or fitness goals and ensure they’re realistic and achievable. If you’re unsure where to start, consult with a fitness professional or healthcare provider to set realistic goals tailored to your needs.
- Educate yourself. Learn about body positivity and acceptance movements – they’re not just for women. Getting comfortable with the fact that bodies come in diverse shapes and sizes can help shift your perspective and reduce feelings of inadequacy.
- Surround yourself with supportive people. More people can identify with how you feel than you may realize. So, cultivate relationships with people who support and uplift you and for whom you can do the same.
- Curb media consumption. Be mindful of the media you consume. Diversify the sources to include a variety of body types and representations, and limit exposure to content that perpetuates unrealistic ideals and triggers negative feelings about your body.
- Take time for self-reflection. You’re a good guy, right? You have some accomplishments, maybe a family that loves you or a job you’re proud of. Take time to reflect on those things and feel good about them. Also, consider the factors influencing your body image and how to balance your perspective and priorities.
- Practice self-care. Self-care may be the buzzword de jour, but it’s actually quite important. Engage in activities that promote self-care and self-love. This can include hobbies, mindfulness practices, or any activities that bring joy and relaxation.
- Positive affirmations. It may sound a little touchy-feely, but by practicing positive self-talk and challenging negative thoughts about your body, you can focus on your strengths and accomplishments beyond physical appearance.
Remember that addressing body image concerns is a process that takes time and self-compassion. It’s essential to prioritize mental and emotional well-being as part of your overall journey towards a healthier body image.
Body positivity, self-acceptance, and challenging unrealistic societal standards are not just a girl’s game – they’re a human one. Embracing these things can contribute to a healthier perspective on body image for both men and women.
https://www.guystuffcounseling.com/counseling-men
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This Post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
