When Love Makes Leaving Hard

When it comes to love, everything can become so important-even the trifles. The following is a story about a man, 29 years old, who has been in a relationship with a great woman for three years now; she is 27. They mean so much to one another, and their love is so full of deep trust and just a lot of beautiful moments. There is one thing which hurts him-something which to other people may be nothing, but now it has become a great problem in his life: the sadness of his fiancée every time they separate.

…

No matter whether he spends a day, two days, or even three with her, every time the moment comes to go, she looks sad, and that tugs at his heart. It is not just the look on her face; even her tone is soft, almost childlike, as if to say that saying good-bye is the hardest thing she has to do. Sometimes, it got to the extent where she would even tear up, and then he realized that he needed to get help.

He has done everything and tried everything he could ever think of to make it easier, staying over longer, sometimes extra days, thinking the time together would take the sadness of it all away from her. He does whatever he can, but nothing does the trick, which means that he leaves and this is what happens each time; hence, he is left feeling guilty and helpless.

…

He realizes this has absolutely nothing to do with her controlling emotions or trying to fix something that’s broken. He is having the most wonderful relationship and he truly loves her, but every time he needs to go off, she’s in tears, which does start getting on his nerves. He questions what he’s doing wrong or if there’s anything else he can do to make it easier for her.

What really perplexes him is the fact that they do talk about their future together all the time-actually having plans and dreams and aspirations that involve building a life side by side. Still, this sadness she feels when he would leave seems to be, as it were, the shadow toward those plans, making him curious whether there is something more profound going on:.

…

Maybe it’s the depth of her love for him which makes it hard to say goodbye, or maybe it’s the fear of being apart, even if that is only for a short time. He knew that love can make one vulnerable in ways one doesn’t always anticipate, and this could be one of those times.

This is a man who reaches out for help in an attempt to understand what might be happening and how he can try to help her without making her worse. He does not want to give the impression that he is ignoring her feelings or dismissing them as something small; he wants to be there for her, to support her whatever way he can. On the other hand, he also knows he cannot live with this guilt every time he needs to be away. It’s a catch-22 situation, and he is trying to figure it out.

After all, he finally comes to realize that love is not easy, and that communication and understanding are part of any given relationship. Whatever it takes to make her know he cares, he will do-even if it means going deep into fathomable emotions and finding new ways together of coping with them.

—

This post was previously published on medium.com.

***