
There’s something I’ve been holding back, something that’s been stuck in my chest, like a word I can’t quite spit out. I’ve thought about saying it so many times, but I never do. I think we all have those moments — when you want to say something, but you just…don’t
It’s not because I don’t want you to know. It’s just that I’m scared. Scared of how things might changes, of what you might think, of what I might lose. So, I keep it to myself. I let it sit there, heavy and silent, because somehow, keeping it in feels safer than letting it out.
I’ve pictured it a million different ways — me saying it, you reacting, the silence that might follow. But every time, I can’t bring myself to actually do it. It’s like my mouth just won’t form the words, like my heart is warning me to say quiet.
Maybe it’s better this way. Maybe some things are meant to stay inside, unspoken. Because once I say it, I can’t take it back. It’s out there, real and raw, and I don’t know if I’m ready for that. I don’t know if we are.
So, I’ll keep it to myself.
I’ll let this thought stay unsaid, even though it’s bruning a hole inside me. I’ll let it sit in the quiet spaces between us, in the looks I give you when you’re not paying attention, in the moments when I almost speak but stop myself.
Because after all this time, I’ve realized something: some thought aren’t meant to be shared. Some things are too fragile, too risky, too much. And maybe it’s okay to keep this one just for me.
Maybe, in the end, this unsaid thought will stay unsaid. And maybe that’s where it’s meant to be.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Marcus Dall Col on Unsplash
