We clicked at once. Hours flew by. We talked, laughed, shared music, and bonded in little things. First impression: I was careful. I did not want to get too attached because I have been there, and it is always messy. But he seemed a little different, as if he was getting attached too. So, I thought maybe this time is different Maybe it’s safe to let my guard down.
Boy, was I wrong.
One day the calls seem to slow down, or the texts are not coming as frequently. One evening he tells me that something is happening in his life and that he needs some space. I did not pay much mind; perhaps he needed his space. When I confronted him later, his reaction was cold and distant:
“Leave me alone.”
And so, I did: No texts, no reach-outs. But then, I went to check on him again – blocked. Everything on Instagram, Discord, and Spotify was gone, a place we used to connect, just an empty space. No explanation, no closure, nothing. Just silence.
Months passed and I was putting my courage to the test once again, checking in only to make sure he was okay, but anxiety caught up with me and I deleted the message before sending it off. It wasn’t until a few days later when I realized he blocked me there too. That promise of
“oh, I’d never block you”
was broken just like that.
It’s not even the first time this has happened. It’s a pattern. Sweet beginnings, promises, shared moments, and then poof-they’re gone, leaving me to gather fragments of my attachment. It feels like they’re ready to pour their charm out at the beginning but dissolve without an explanation as soon as I start feeling safe.
What do I do, for goodness’ sake? *
Why would they ghost someone they chose to make special? If ghosting is what they wanted, why did they make me special? If you don’t want anything serious, why not tell me that at all? That would have been easier than disappearing on me without a word.
Ghosting is cruel. It leaves the other person questioning everything they did. Was all of this real?Why wouldn’t anyone give me a goodbye, at least?
I am angry. I am frustrated. And honestly, I am fed up with the vicious cycle of being pulled closer to someone and then being abandoned yet again. If they don’t want to stay, why do they start at all?
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Daria Nepriakhina 🇺🇦 on Unsplash
