I can’t tell you, how many people have been coming to me and talking about issues in their relationships, these days. Not just the obvious and usual pre-election issues–where partners and spouses on opposite end of the voting spectrum are trying to come to terms with the other’s decision; but the not so obvious ones.
I have been seeing so many couples coming to me in crisis, who have always been dependably balanced, and know how to use their tools. They are experiencing conflict with roles in their relationships that divide right down the gender line–finances, work, parenting, housework…
Is this the paradigm shifting? Are we out of our comfort zone, as we face even the prospect of electing the first US woman President?
This election is not only reflecting all that is wrong with our nation–racism, sexism–it feels like; what has been hidden is coming to the surface.
We have seen the pendulum swing in this direction: although we have both MALE and FEMALE characteristics; MALE and FEMALE have been separated into distinct and singular cultural roles in our society.
Men can’t be sensitive, and accepted as men.
Women can’t be assertive and accepted as feminine.
And right now, we are witnessing the rules of this cultural game, front and center in the media, and in the National conversation.
- Are you noticing this in your relationships?
- This is a struggle for all of us.
- We are having to look at what our real values are and how to make the energy of what we want, match what we are asking for.
- How do we become strong women in a world that is fearful of what this can and will look like?
- How and where will our men get grounded outside the social norm comfort zone?
- Are we in the midst of creating something new? Or is the pendulum swinging back, to how we were originally, like in Sobonfu’s matrilineal tribe, where they don’t have gender hierarchy, and everyone has an equal vote in community matters?
In America, and other parts of the world, as women and men; we don’t know what stepping into a new paradigm, in our country will look like.
How will we discover together, what will work and what won’t? What will our roles be and how can we support each other in their changing? Where will we find the balance…
And will BALANCE be the goal and outcome?
Will we try to stay in the past, because we’re not sure how to live in the present? There is so much fear. Will we let this election pull us all down?
Maybe it has to be this extreme to see what is still in our way of being free.
Stay aware. Pause. Realize we are all in this place of not knowing. Hold the space you can for transformation and change so that the Highest and Best will happen not only for couples, but for our country…and for our children.
…and hold space for your own balance as well.