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Even if you think of yourself as the ideal co-worker, consider these two facts together. The first is that, on average, people spend 90,000 hours, or one-third of their lives working. So, not only is the workplace central to our financial well-being, it’s one of the biggest ways we spend our time. The second is that we all have room for improvement.
If you want to make small changes that will make a big impact on your quality of life, consider really looking at how you behave at work. No matter how highly you rate yourself, you can do better. Below are some universal truths that might make you uncomfortable. Hitting them head-on could change more than just your career.
You Have Bias. Deal with It.
Everyone has some bias. The key is learning to recognize it and correct your thinking. No matter how enlightened you think you are, you probably have some bias you haven’t totally dealt with.
Bias means forming a harmful opinion that isn’t based on reason. Believe it or not, we’re genetically hardwired to have prejudice from back when we were cavemen and we needed to size up others as friend or foe quickly! Fortunately, that is seldom something we need to do at work these days. Here are some common, unhealthy biases you might be carrying into your modern workplace.
Assuming bad intent or character flaws when someone makes a mistake is a form of bias that can really hurt you at work. For example, if your co-worker shows up late for a meeting and you mentally roll your eyes, assuming that it’s because he’s lazy and disorganized, you are jumping to conclusions without all the facts. Perhaps his new baby kept him up all night. Perhaps he was given incorrect information about the meeting. Perhaps his boss kept him late at a prior meeting. You can eliminate your bias and improve your teamwork skills by reserving judgment about his work ethic until you know why he was late.
Choosing teammates based on friendship over their strengths and skills is a common form of bias that will likely hurt the quality of the work you produce. Choosing to take on certain voluntary tasks while ignoring others can have a biased impact on your team. For example, women in the office tend to get stuck with more of the housekeeping and social planning chores of the office than their male counterparts.
The key to overcoming bias is being willing to ask yourself why you think what you think.
Listen. Then, Listen Again.
Being a good listener means doing three things. First, you have to stop talking. You cannot listen and talk at the same time. That might seem obvious, but it can be a huge obstacle for some people. Second, you have to be very attentive to what the person speaking is actually saying. Third, you have to check in with yourself to identify whether you may have missed or misunderstood something he or she said.
Here are some questions to ask yourself to gauge whether or not you are a good listener. Do you find yourself just barely waiting for someone to finish speaking so you can say what you want to say? If so, you probably weren’t listening very well to what they were saying.
Do you feel comfortable interrupting others? Do people get annoyed with you frequently for interrupting? If the answer is yes to either of these, frankly, you probably aren’t a good listener.
Do you tend to talk quite a bit during, or even dominate, meetings? Do you find yourself talking for more than a minute or two at a time during a conversation? If the answer is yes, you might be monologuing more than having conversations. If your meeting was intended to be a conversation, not a presentation, you might have a listening problem.
If listening is not your strong suit, there is a formula for listening called active listening, which is a sure-fire way to make certain you heard what was said. The formula for active listening is to pay close attention to what the speaker is saying, then to paraphrase out loud what you heard them say, then to ask them if you summarized what they were saying correctly. Notice that active listening does not involve your opinions or thoughts on the subject. Active listening is simply making sure you understood what the speaker was saying.
Practice Empathy.
Each of the people you work with is a human being. They deserve kindness and empathy just as you do. What is empathy? Empathy is being able to recognize the emotions of another combined with using your imagination to consider what they are thinking and how they are feeling.
Here are three simple ways to practice being more empathetic at work. One way is to look for ways that you and your co-worker are similar. That will make it easier to put yourself in his or her shoes.
Another way is to take your judgment out of the equation. If they have feelings, it isn’t helpful for you to decide whether their feelings are right or wrong. Just acknowledge that those are their feelings, period.
Finally, the current anti-harassment training laws provide a perfect and easily accessible opportunity to improve empathy for all employees. When you attend your company’s mandatory anti-harassment training, really try to put yourself emotionally in the place of the person on the receiving end of harassment. Ask yourself some empathetic questions. What would that harassment feel like socially for that person? What would harassment feel like in terms of financial security?
Use Gossip Benevolently.
Gossip means sharing information that has not been confirmed as true. We all know the harmful effects mean-spirited gossip has on morale, trust, and teamwork. Even if being in on the office gossip makes you feel superior, or like you are part of the in-crowd, it also will make you feel vulnerable to being subjected to the same treatment as the person being talked about. That being said, it’s pleasant to chat informally about the workplace and it’s natural to want to talk about the other folks on your team.
Here’s how to use gossip for the good of the office. Spread kind gossip. Saying, “I heard Jane is putting together an awesome presentation for next week’s meeting” is not only flattering to Jane, but it can actually have beneficial effects on team performance. If the people on the team know that they will be admired for doing certain things, like building attractive presentations, they are more likely to engage in that behavior.
Want to Improve.
Everyone has it in them to be a good co-worker. Being a valued, kind member of a team often comes with financial and social rewards beyond just the knowledge that you are doing the right thing. It all hinges on your wanting to improve.
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