You communicate with power when you speak to universal concerns.
Say words people need to hear, not things you need to say.
Goals are important. Direction might be necessary. But don’t fall in love with telling competent people what to do.
Communicate with Power:
Everyone lives with nine primal questions. Anything you say to address the nine primal concerns elevates your relevance.
(The following questions are crafted to maintain personal responsibility for our emotions.)
#1. Am I Safe?
What actions can you take to feel comfortable with your responsibilities?”
#2. Am I Secure?
What are you doing to reinforce your sense of security here?
#3. Am I Loved?
What would you like me or others to notice about the value you bring the team?
#4. Am I Wanted?
How do you actively contribute to your sense of inclusion and belonging here?
#5. Am I Successful?
What personal measures of success are most important to you in this role?
#6. Am I Good Enough?
How are you using feedback to reinforce your own confidence in your work?
#7. Do I Have Control?
What aspects of your job are within your control? How are you maximizing your influence in those areas?
#8. Am I Understood?
What actions are you taking to ensure that your voice is heard and understood?
#9. Do I Have Purpose?
What part of your work provides you with the most personal meaning, and how are you aligning yourself with that?
Responsibility:
You communicate with power when you encourage ownership.
Notice the above questions keep responsibility on the person you are speaking with. Don’t take responsibility for someone’s feelings. When you soften the language, you minimize accountability.
You can build environments where positive emotions are likely. You can approach relationships with kindness and compassion, but you can’t make people feel anything.
Share ways to communicate with power.
Author’s note: This post is inspired by, “The 7 Primal Questions,” by Mike Foster. I highly recommend his work.
Still curious:
Stop Hedging – It Makes You Sound Weak
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Previously Published on leadershipfreak with Creative Commons License
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