Star Trek fans know that in The Final Frontier, some inhabitants speak Klingon. And thanks to Avatar, we know that on the planet Pandora, they speak Na’Vi. Species of all varieties seem to intuitively master the skill of communication, regardless of the circumstances.
Why is it then, that my youngest son can hardly speak during the first 60 minutes of his day?
I used to make extraordinary attempts to get some meaningful dialogue going with him during that short hour I have the pleasure (cough) of his company before school.
But he didn’t like me doing that. In fact, he detested it. Which, in turn, made him detest everything about me. So we’ve evolved and found a happy—or at least agreeable—middle ground in terms of our morning communication.
Here’s a sampling from this morning:
Me: “Time to get up!”
Him: “Five more.”
Me (five minutes later): “It’s five.”
Him: “Scratch. Back.”
Me (scratching): “Cereal?”
Him (muffled in the pillow): “Frysummnrtgruity.”
Me: “Huh?”
Him: “Fruity Pebbles!”
Him (Nine minutes later while eating): “Dad! Scratch!”
Him (While I’m scratching his back): “Use both hands.”
Him (Running to brush teeth): “Bus watch?”
Me: “Sure.”
Him (Six minutes later grabbing lunch, backpack, and running out door): Grunt.
Me: “Have a good day!”
Him: “K.” Long grunt.
Me (watching him get on bus): Longer grunt.
I used to believe if I compensated for his, uh, quiet disposition, it would naturally help him evolve into a television-perfect child who would plop himself down at the breakfast table, freshly showered with hair neatly combed, eager to talk to me about his day, and give me voluminous details about the peaceful night sleep he just enjoyed.
Lead by example, I’d tell myself. I hoped I could show him the benefits of having a sunny morning outlook. Unfortunately, the more I shared my sunshine, the more thunderous his demeanor became. And it wasn’t long before we had the National Weather Service doing live broadcasts from our kitchen regarding the severe weather warning this cheery dad apparently put into motion.
It wasn’t a fun storm for either of us to ride out.
So I’ve learned to give him his room. And in doing so, we seem to have developed our own language. One with few words.
I’m just hoping that my back scratches speak volumes to him.
—Photo Victor Bezrukov/Flickr
I’m giggling reading this…. We’re onto our last teen now but when our first teen was going through the whole grunting thing, I was so worried about it that I actually thought she might have a physical impairment in her jaw that prevented her from opening her mouth properly. When I mentioned this to our dr, he laughed and told me to get used to it!! We never stopped asking how they were and yes, they enjoy a good back scratch too :))
Sarah…the things we go through as parents, right! Thanks for reading!
Wow. I guess my daily five am wake up calls with my two year old son won’t last forever then? Good to know. I teach sixth grade and see the aftermath of these conversations. Sometimes the lethargy lasts all the way up until lunch. Enjoyed the post. . .
I live with 4 women – wife and 3 daughters, ages 15, 7, 6. The 7 yr old and I are “morning people”. The otehr three are aliens until 9am or so. It’s frustrating because there are things to do in the morning; get ready for school and work, breakfast, plans, errands. and family issues to at least touch on. I don’t understand why they cant just wake up, get going, and deal with life. The truth is, there way of dealing is to make a slow transition into coherence. I have learned to live with it all. My 7… Read more »
Lance- It’s so true! I think you’re right, we just need to accept it for what it is and laugh. But, jeeeeeeez! Is it really that bad. Next time my Morning Mumbler gives me a hard time, I’m calling you for support! Thanks for reading.
The first hour or so after I wake up is my quiet and reflection time. I am exactly the same way – don’t talk to me and don’t try to force your cheeriness upon me. I need that time to focus and mentally prepare myself for the day.
This article reminds me of the fights I had with my mother every morning – after a while she got the hint and stopped, only speaking when necessary.
It doesn’t mean we’re crabby morning people – we just need time to focus! Ha!
Tyler! I so understand! I just wish I would have figured it out years ago. What’s funny is – now that I just give him some room – he’ll actually start up a conversation every once in a while. It’s just gotta be on his terms. Thanks for reading. Happy New Year. Jim
My husband has had to deal with me (the grunter) for the last 20 years and he’s a “morning person”. On the upside, it made it easier for him to understand youngest who has autism, and was non verbal.
*Whargarble*
Me: Honey mummy can’t understand you
Husband: Really? He just asked you to change the channel because the Clone Wars is on.
Shannon, I think every family must have its own, secret language. Thanks for reading!
Reminds me of the communication I have with my boyfriend in the morning!
Hi Sarah, Don’t ya just want to smack crabby morning people! Thanks for reading! Jim