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Intimacy is a form of deep bonding, where two people traverse deeply into each other, themselves and the cosmos. As an embodied, conscious and intended practice, intimacy allows us to reveal the most profound aspects of ourselves to ourselves and to our partner. The following ways to practice intimacy with your beloved will help openly state your undying, unwavering and pure love for them.
Eradicate hidden and projected expectations
When we place expectations on our loved ones we limit their authentic expression. Expectations are rigid, limiting, constrictive and restrictive. When we feel closed or oppressed, the yearning to be intimate dissipates. Choose preferences over expectations, as this posture is grounded in openness and allowing. When we eliminate expectations, we choose to observe the value in all of life as opposed to limiting ourselves to only one possibility.
Know each other’s 5 love languages
There are 5 love languages: Receiving Gifts – Words Of Affirmation – Acts Of Service – Physical Touch – Quality Time. Our primary love languages are the ones we most use to express our love and that are more meaningful when we are the recipient. When we learn the primary love languages of our partner and ourselves, we can act in accordance, bonding deeply and allowing intimacy to flourish. This can be a useful tool (of many) to understanding yourself and others.
Share ‘secrets’
Entrust with each other information, knowledge and wisdom that only you and your partner know about. This bonds and strengthens your relationship and allows you to explore who your lover really is. In this space, in this moment of truth sharing we are open. In this open state of being, we are able to give and receive with greater depth and breadth.
Trust, revere & respect each other
When we trust, revere and respect our beloved, we demonstrate that they are worthy of our time, energy and life. The level at which we trust, revere and respect our loved ones will determine how they respond to us. We must openly choose to value who they are and to not judge them. Believe they have your best interest at heart and have theirs in yours.
Know each other’s history
By learning from each other we are choosing to embrace each other for who we are and who we have been. Discover your partner’s fears, cherished experiences, apprehensions, family bonds, triggers and their experiences with love. Then you can support, respond instead of react and nurture the growth of your beloved. To learn who they are is to evolve ourselves.
Use intimacy to teach wholeness
Relationships are not about having another person complete you. Enter a relationship already whole and share your lives interdependently. Release the unrealistic romantic ideal of two halves merging to become ‘one’ and instead evolve yourselves through cooperation. As Rainer Maria Rilke says: “Love the distances in a relationship as much as the togetherness”. Authentic independence encourages deliberate intimacy in varied circumstances and a love that is robust and adaptable.
Practice transfiguration
Transfiguration is an ancient practice of seeing what truly is through mindful attention coupled with a deep intention for growth and expansion. Eye gazing with your partner is a practice that embodies this wisdom and ethos. When our vision of our partner is transfigured for the ‘better’ we may cultivate deeper intimacy. Only when we are capable of ‘seeing’ our beloved as the cosmic ocean of primordial energy when we feel in them all the powers of the universe manifested through their body, will we experience deep intimacy. Remain long enough in the gaze and watch your partner change before your very eyes.
Stefanos Sifandos
With over 20 years of direct experience in the personal transformation space, Stefanos understands peak human potential. He is a trained educator and relationship expert with a background in behavioral science. Stefanos’ philosophy merges the best of Eastern and Western methodologies to promote spiritual balance and empower people in life and love. Stefanos has also cofounded both a world-class coaching and education institute and global men’s empowerment movement and has been involved in multiple 8 and 9-figure startups. Stefanos has worked with thousands of men and women from all walks of life who have relied on him to restructure and reframe their relationships with themselves and their loved ones.
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