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Congratulations! You’ve learned how to approach women and you’ve had your first few dates. You’re on a roll, and you are really into the woman you’re seeing. But what do you do after that? How do you build the intimacy needed to get into a relationship?
Building intimacy does not mean sex. Sex is definitely PART of intimacy, but emotional intimacy is just as important. A woman is instantly attracted to a man she can build emotional intimacy with. That leads to the start of a great relationships and FANTASTIC sex. So what is intimacy and how do you build it? I am going to list out 7 ways to build intimacy after the first date that will make her chase after you.
Here’s how to build intimacy that leads to better connections and physical intimacy.
Be Vulnerable
Being vulnerable emotionally is very sexy for women. They love to glimpse inside our hearts. Be aware of how you share it, though. Saying something like, “I got my heart broken last week by another woman,” on a first date is a sure way to never hear back from them. Don’t do that! Or worse yet, lay everything bare about every hurt you’ve ever experienced. That’s being needy, not vulnerable, and that’s not attractive. What IS attractive to women is giving them insight into who you are. Tell them about a past experience that had meaning to you. Maybe an incident changed you for the better, or how you’ve adapted from a negative experience in your life to become the awesome man you are today. Maybe tell them a fear you have and see if you share that in common. Building emotional intimacy takes time. Slow and steady is the name of the game. And do it with authenticity.
Try Something New Together
When you begin to date someone, dating coach Connell Barrett says it’s important to do things that are outside both of your comfort zones. Do you know why? It builds intimacy! Maybe it’s something like bungee jumping or zip lining, where you can also build physical intimacy. If she’s scared, you can comfort her with hugs, hand holding, and lots of kisses. But doing new things together as a couple is important. Not only will you both remember the new experience, but every time you do it again, she’ll remember you.
Be a Great Listener
Women always say they want a man who is a great listener. And it’s true. Not only does being a great listener provide you with an opportunity to get to know her better, but it shows her that she can trust you. Be sure to listen with purpose, however. When she is done talking, you need to respond appropriately. In addition, be sure to wait for her to finish before responding, and saying, “Thank you for sharing,” is always a good move. Also, make sure to stay out of that friend zone by following up with physical intimacy such as kisses, neck rubs, hand-holding, and more if she’s interested. Nothing is sexier than a man who really listens. You’ll see what I mean.
Be a Non-Judgemental Listener
In order to build intimacy, it’s important that both of you practice being a non-judgmental listener. Being non-judgmental means listening without passing judgment on what the other person is saying. Instead, listening to understand and without criticizing builds intimacy because it shows you are a safe person to talk to. When you take away criticism and judgment, you’d be surprised how much more she shares with you, and how much deeper intimacy you have. Try it! You’ll be amazed at how much better your relationship immediately improves.
Be Comfortable Alone
Nothing is sexier than a confident man. Part of that confidence is knowing that although you WANT a partner, you don’t need one. On the other hand, neediness kills emotional intimacy and drags the relationship down. Instead, be who you are and get comfortable alone. That shows her that you have a degree of maturity needed to be in a relationship. In addition, it means that she won’t have to caretake your needs in an unhealthy way. Build your own circle of friends and get involved in hobbies. Then you don’t need a woman. And that, alone, is very enticing and shows her you are ready for intimacy.
Let Go of Expectations
We all have expectations of what we want in an ideal relationship. It’s normal. But keeping very high expectations only leads to disappointment. Not only is it impossible to live up to our ideals, but it’s also enormous pressure. Instead, think of all the qualities she possesses. Is she your kind of woman? Does she make you happy? Does she just “fit” in your life? Do you see a future with her? Focus on that. Instead, show her how much you appreciate all the things you like about her.
Be Grateful
Being appreciated is incredibly attractive to women. It also leads to deeper physical and emotional intimacy and is very easy to do. As a result, think of something new every few days that you are grateful for and let her know. Maybe she made something for you, showed what a great listener she was, or maybe you had killer sex. Let her know you appreciate her! A text, a letter, or a face-to-face discussion are all good. It doesn’t have to be fancy. It just has to show appreciation. Sharing gratitude on a regular basis will rock HER world, which, in turn, rocks yours.
These are 7 simple steps of how to increase intimacy. Although intimacy in and of itself isn’t sex, it does lead to sex and better connections. In addition, although it does take some effort, it is well worth it in the end when you have a beautiful woman in your life who cares about you and with who you have an authentic relationship. Try these 7 easy steps and see how your relationship takes off!
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This content is brought to you by Vanessa Howell.
Photo: Shutterstock
