Deceptively Simple, Yet Agonizingly Difficult…
You can’t go very far in the digital world without reading a lot of content about men and women … specifically about how to deal with the generally poor level of mental health everybody seems to feel.
There are countless articles by men complaining about women or about women complaining about men.
Being a Man in the Modern Era is Tricky
Between social media, dating apps and #MeToo, being a man has become very complicated.
The wage gap between men and women has all but disappeared, which is a very good thing. However, this creates a very difficult situation for relationships since (in general) women no longer need men financially, and men have been socially conditioned based on the idea of being a stable provider as their primary means of attracting a partner.
What Women Say They Want and What Attracts Them are Different
There are thousands and thousands of articles that have been written about ‘what women want’ with frequent references to feelings of safety and security being necessary elements for attraction. This has led to generations of men who were conditioned to be ‘nice guy’ providers that address these professed needs.
However, the science says that attraction is generated by anxiety and uncertainty.
This is not a particularly comforting insight, as it tells us that the men who have followed the social pressure to become stable providers have doomed themselves to low attraction relationships (at best) or losing their partner to other people who they feel more attracted to.
The thing men need to understand is how they can transform themselves into a ‘Superior Man’ that is attractive and successful.
The ONE Question
Now we get to the ONE question that will always take you on the path of a Superior Man…
What Is The Boldest Course of Action I Can Take?
Let’s be clear, there is no time when it’s ok to violate people’s rights or boundaries … with that said, bold action is one of the most effective things that a man can do to communicate his value. It is not about being mean or manipulative … rather, it is about being clear and transparent without apology or hesitation.
“You’re so nice … I just want to be friends”
Safe Answer: “I understand … I don’t want to ruin what we have”
Bold Answer: “Sorry … I don’t need another pen pal”
I Feel Tired … I Don’t Want To Work Out
Safe Answer: I Can Always Do It Tomorrow
Bold Answer: There Is No Tomorrow … The Only Time To Win is Today
Eye-Rolling Reaction From a Woman You Approach
Safe Answer: “Can I buy you a drink”
Bold Answer: “You have a really sexy bitch face”
“I Need Time Before I’m Ready for a Sexual Relationship”
Safe Answer: “It’s ok … I want you to be comfortable”
Bold Answer: “Sexuality is very important to me, so maybe this isn’t going to work”
Bold action communicates options, strength and abundance.
Acting from a place of scarcity is what results in projecting fear and weakness. Playing it safe makes you just like all the other men out there who are terrified of rejection.
Final Thoughts
It seems very counterintuitive, but consistent bold action is necessary to create and maintain attraction.
The challenge that growth-oriented men face is to continually challenge themselves to push past their ‘edge’ of comfort, risk failure, learn and improve.
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If this story resonated with you, I would truly appreciate buying me a coffee.
Also: They say you can clap up to 50 times. Try it and find out!
Your response is a way of saying “I hear it and I feel it.” 👏😊
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Drew Hays on Unsplash
