Here is how to use abnormal positivity and generosity to resolve your divorce quickly and inexpensively
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Fact: Most divorcees I know regret all the fighting they did during the divorce. Almost everyone going through this hell goes to the mat on each miniscule thing in an effort to win, to punish their ex, to show their strength, etc.
“Stick to your guns” my dad and grandpa always said. “Don’t back down”, “hold your ground”… these are all fine in the business world, in the army, or on the field, but not when it comes to resolving a divorce.
The irony is that winning your divorce usually equates to losing, at least losing something: money, custody, rights, assets… most of all, respect.
The system is setup to be less costly if you can work out your differences and come in to file those agreements. However, everything done to agitate the ex actually delays decisions and costs you both more. More time, more energy, more money. I believe that’s all a waste.
You were best friends once. You were in love once. Just because you decide to divorce doesn’t mean it calls for war. Remember, war is expensive!
I know a fabulous divorce mediator named Denisa Tova. She’s amazing! It’s not uncommon for her clients to celebrate their divorce with a ceremony together, and even include kids.
I understand feelings get hurt before and during divorce. But, I urge any divorcing couple to put your ego and “win above all costs” aside, sit down together, get help if you need it, and work it out.
Most of the time there is middle ground. When you find it you will speed up your divorce and you will drastically reduce the cost of your divorce.
The numbers work themselves out. You both know what’s fair. If your soon-to-be-ex is unreasonable, call them out. And then get a mediator.
Use the lawyers to review the documents, not to negotiate your divorce terms. They get paid by the hour and are not incented for quick resolution.
Infuse some abnormal positivity and generosity despite the fact that one or both may, at first reaction, feel the farthest from that mindset. The world is round. Seek a peaceful resolution and you will reap tremendous rewards!
After all, “Life is a Gift”. And you have much life to live!
~ bill
30 years of strategic, entrepreneurial business growth along with two brushes with death have earned him the tag “ResilienceGuy”. Bill Douglas is an accomplished Mentor, Coach & Speaker helping entrepreneurs & executives with growth and strength.
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