I have a male co-worker who is recently divorced. He put together a post-divorce bucket list for himself. He says, “If I’m going to get over her and get on with my life, I’ve got to keep myself busy and my mind occupied.” What a great idea!
That motivated me to start my own list and go to work, crossing through items, setting goals and promoting growth and, hopefully building a new life for myself. How about you, do you have a post-divorce bucket list? What’s on your list.
My personal post-divorce bucket list, in no particular order:
Here is what I have so far, I’m sure more will be added as I cross through these.
1. Get an extra large garbage bag and get rid of everything that I don’t use, that doesn’t fit my new life, triggers painful memories, or that I bought in hopes that it would make me a different person and turned out to be rubbish.
2. Download podcasts that interest me to listen to every time I’m commuting or driving in the car.
3. Have weekend plans. A trip to the beach, a walk in the park. Plan something so I’m not sitting home stewing on the weekends.
4. Make concrete plans to see, in person, the people I miss but haven’t been in touch with since my marriage.
5. Use SPF
6. Open a savings account.
7. Have safe sex…often.
8. Embrace being ordinary. So much of my anxiety comes from the idea that to be average = to be bad, when in fact, all of us – with rare exception – are just average, and there’s nothing wrong with that. A world that insists the only people who are successful and worthwhile are the ones at the very top is sick. So, I’ll embrace my ordinary!
9. Read the stories of people who were in similar situations to what I’m in, and study how they found their way out.
10. Go out of my way to help others.
11. Stop engaging in arguments with myself.
12. Buy a really good vibrator
13. Forgive my ex.
14. Go see The Nutcracker.
15. Read the Sunday paper in bed more often.
16. Visit Disney World with my daughter.
17. Go to London and buy something at Harrod’s.
18. Forgive myself.
19. Host holiday meals in my home.
20. Ask a man out on a date.
21. Fall in love again.
22. Get a mani/pedi once a month.
23. See a movie in a theater at least once a month.
24. Continue to RESIST!
25. Get my first mammogram
26. Take scuba diving lessons.
27. Have a one-night stand.
28. Take a trip alone.
29. Go skinny dipping in the ocean.
30. Write my will.
31. Redecorate my bedroom.
32. Have drinks with my ex’s new wife.
33. Buy myself flowers.
34. Learn to say no.
35. Binge watch…”Netflix and chill?”
36. Take a hot air balloon ride.
37. Take a photography class.
38. Have a Pink Tea with my girlfriends.
39. Date outside my “type.”
40. Get in shape!
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